its been awhile since ive updated...shit ive been sick for 13 days...aaaarrrrggg someone help!

btw carol thanks for the care package..it helped...sorry i couldnt make it out on friday..i really wanted to but as u kno im hella sick.....

take care everyone..dont get sick!

i am feeling....emotionless....in loss for words

i miss all u guys...sorry that i havent been there for you but u know that if i could....i would...

seem to be apologizing for alot of things latey...especially for things that i had no control of ....but either way IM SORRY!

for WB....im happy for you...i wish you much happiness..and i kno that u kno thats all i wanted for you....remember all the stars!

everyone else...sorry for the random thoughts...

remember that one night in emeryville...thanks for the long lasting memories under the stars...

FINALLY INTERNET!!! woo woo!!!  sorry for the delays in the email.  hope everyones holidays were good..been working my butt off...but yea..much hugs and kisses to everyone that has supported me and my new adventure...thanks guys...greatly appreciate it!!!!

oh and thanks to bubbles...i won't be able to update my xanga without you! thanks!!

on another note...all those who are not as happy as they were like a month ago or so...a few things i wanna say...it's gonna be ok...life is full of heartbreaks but those tears will make you strong and better in the long run.  Don't ever be afraid of your emotions..express them freely and always be honest.  i kno...i kno..."nice guys always gets fu*ked"... i dont think that it's true...just think of it like this...there is something out there that is better for you, something/someone that will make your heart melt, make your knees weak and just make you incredibly happy that you are walking on clouds... important thing...be honest and true to yourself...give yourself time to heal and let your friends be there to hold your hand and give you a HUG!  it will probably make you feel better.

also, one more thing...if there is something out there that has stolen your heart or made you feel something special, dont let it go.  Give it your all!  don't let others influence your life and make your decisions for you.  follow your heart because if you don't then you will probably always ask "what if?" and that shit sucks monkey ass.