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| theres just so much on my mind.
ROCK HARD PLACE
ME
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| stressedi REALLY need a break from life. i'm super STRESSED, i feel like things are falling apart with friends, school, dance, my roommate and i barely talk to my own family. i haven't vented in a long time through dancing or through xanga. i won't let myself cry no matter how hard it gets, but that just might build the pressure up and cause something bad to happen. my life is revolved around trying to get this 4.0 gpa which seems nearly impossible with the courses that im taking and the results that im getting back from these tests. i'm struggling to keep alive in such a fast-pace environment. Tests come every week and I'm left with so little time to prepare. Barrio approaches in 26 days and I've only taught one dance out of the 3-5 that I need to teach. I'm CONSTANTLY thinking about the friends I have and if they're even really friends. I feel like I can't talk to anybody because nobody really gives a shit about what I have to say, which pisses me off even more. I think I'm just going to cut myself off from the rest of the world and build myself a wall. Only those who really care will ever get through, but until then, just leave me alone.
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| prioritiesi feel like i care more about dance than i do about my own schoolwork. and that scares me. dance is important to me because it keeps me happy, sane, releases my creativity and most importantly, is my outlet to whatever i'm thinking or feeling. it's these rare times when i feel the need to actually write down how i feel. i've been fiddling with this predicament for quite awhile now. i know i don't want to major or even have a career in dance (unless that's a dancing doctor, which is totally made up). yes, i do want to become a doctor, but i feel like i can't say that whole-heartedly with the force that makes me want to get up and study every aspect of science. i only want to cut people open and fool around with their insides as grotesque as that sounds. i only care for the hands-on portion of being a doctor and i don't care to know all the background information now.
i just got rejected from a hip-hop dance for a group at my school (they didn't send me an e-mail or call me to say that i got into the dance meaning that i didn't get into the dance). it makes me feel so heartbroken and depressed because in my head i do think that i'm pretty decent for hip-hop, but there are obviously a MILLION more people more talented than i. however, i thought i'd be decent enough for the group i auditioned for. my forte in dance i like to believe is hip-hop. after being rejected from this group it makes me feel as though i'm not good enough. which makes me wonder why do i even think i'm good enough to choreograph? then i think about how serious i'm taking the whole situation and why i'm taking it SO seriously. like i said before, dance is important to me and of course failing at something that's important to you is upsetting. yet, why am i taking this more seriously than my schoolwork? if i did average or below average on a test for a class, my reaction is eh, okay. that shouldn't be my reaction! i feel like i'm taking dance MORE seriously than school, and that shouldn't be it. school should be MORE important than dance. it seems like i don't have my priorities straight.
if i ever see a shooting star, i'm going to wish for something impossible because all the things that are possible i'm going to make true myself.
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| Talk Nerdy To Me...Nerdy Pick-Up Lines!
- I'm like a Rubik's cube, the longer you play with me the harder I get.
- I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
- If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
- Let's make love like pi; irrational and never ending.
- You have 206 bones in your body... want one more?
- If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar...
- Girl whenever I am near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.
- Baby, you must be O2 cuz I'm about to combust all over you.
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| Sometimes falling in love can hurt, if you do it right.I love falling in love, but I hate falling out of love.
What is love anyways? So many people have tried to dissect, define, and determine what this word really means. I especially want to know the difference between "love" and "infatuation." Why is it that falling in love can be the greatest feeling in the world, but as soon as the love is gone, you feel like you've been pounded 100 feet below hell? I think about my prior relationship, which I think was the deepest and most meaningful relationship to me (although I haven't been through many), and wonder was it love or infatuation? I'd like to think it was love, but perhaps I'm still clouded in my own thought.
What's your opinion on the difference between "love" and "infatuation?"
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