| | Well Excuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess!!!
It's been too long, but thats life when your only internet
access is fighting off all the drunken hobos and myspace perverts so you can
use the computers at the local library. Anyway, I recently saw 3 movies and I
am about to give 3 quick reviews about them, in an old segment called:
The ADHD Movie Reviews
First off during the 4th of July holiday my girlfriend and I both had a 4 day
weekend. As a result I decided to head to blockbuster for some dvd's to watch.
I gotta say, is blockbuster in danger of going out of business or something?
Whenever I go in there there's like no customers and 7 employees who are all like 17. Only one
of them is doing any work while the other 6 are playing grab ass behind the
register. Anyway, on to the movies we saw:
1) Brokeback Mountian 
I know what you're thinking...and yes, I did get this one for Erica because
she'd mentioned she wanted to see it. And no, I didn't just say that Erica wanted to see it because I thought people would think I wanted to see it because I really like men....and no, I don't think that last sentence made any sense. Anyway, for all you guys out there that would like to score some points with your woman by renting this by seeming more "romantic like", I have 3 words of salvation that will make watching 2 dudes play hide the salami just a bit easier to take:
ANNE HATHAWAY TOPLESS See, so sitting through Brokeback might not be so bad for you...but your woman won't know you're only watching it to see Anne's juggs, and not because you're trying to show her your sensitive side! Even if thats not enough you can also use the movie as a test of your own manhood. If you can make it through the whole thing without your "little buddy" waking up, then consider yourself not a gay. Mine didn't! Plus, if you're not a homophobe it's not THAT bad of a flick.... 2) Undead 
I'll keep this one short because it's an extremely shitty movie and not a "so bad it's good" movie. I usually enjoy those types. However its more like a "so bad I wanted to stab myself in the face" kinda bad. All you need to know is that it's Australia's attempt at a zombie movie and that it totally sucks ass. Don't watch it ever. 3) Superman 2 
Ok, here comes the movie I might get some flak for (unless my huge homophobe fanbase begins to lash out because I didn't think Brokeback was that bad) and thats Superman 2. I can honestly say that I don't really like superman. Batman is about a million times cooler. However, I was interested in seeing the new superman movie after all the good reviews it's gotten. It turns out that this new movie is a sequal to the 2nd superman movie from the old days...now I know they made 4 of the old movies, but 3 & 4 were eye-meltingly bad, so they decided to start from after part 2. Hopefully all that made sense, because I'm NOT getting out the flow chart. Long story longer, I decided to rent the first 2 movies so I'd be ready to see the new one. Well, of course blockbuster didn't have the first movie... aparently because it was really good and blockbuster sucks, where as they had Superman 2 in stock because it causes cancer in your retnas if you watch it because it's really bad. True story! I mean, why in the hell would superman give up his damn powers in the first place!? You think Lois Lane is going to be happy with some regular joe six-pack? After a few weeks she's going to wonder what it would've been like to've had sex while flying, or used the heat vision to make pancakes, or use the x-ray vision to see if the light in the refrigerator goes out when the door shuts.
Eh, what the hell do I care, I hate superman. Well, thats it. Take care till next time. Lammy742
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