update

Just thought I would update this blog. Let's start with the kids. Dereck is now working for tmobile he likes it a lot. Laura is learning to drive. Alex, well, Alex is building new friendships at Beth Eden. The change of Church's was a hard thing to do but i am so happy we made this change it has been good for all of us.

Greg and I just got a metal detector which we are learning to use. This was a purchase to help us get up and do something active together and  hopefully it will be something Alex will take an interest in.

I am going to a womens retreat at the end of the month and I am very excited about it. I hope to build some close friendships with the ladies at the retreat.

Greg and I are praying about and looking at different options for school next year. My right vision has gotten worse and we are concerned our homeschooling may need to be done differently. I appreciate prayers on this decision and on my vision as well.

I am doing well on exercise and am back to 6 days of week. The scale is finally moving at one year of a plateau I am so happy to see this change.

Craft

This past weekend a few of my friends and I had a surprise baby shower for our friend. It was great fun. Laura and I actually found some creativity as we followed instructions and motified them to fit our ideas and made this lovely gift for my friend. We thought it turned out way cute.

Dereck is going to draw this lanscape for me

I am sooo happy as Dereck is going to draw a lanscape for me. I have been asking him to do this for years. He gave me this picture as a promise he will draw this for me for my Christmas present. I am vey excited.

It's a New year

Happy New Years to all.

I know it has been a while since I updated this so i thought i would drop by. Life is pretty much the same with not many changes.

I do want to ask for prayers. This last year I have been having problems with my eyes. There is fluid build up behind the retinas. I have been seeing one retina specialist until last month when I sought another opinion.

The new retina doc was able to diagnose my problem, unfortunatly, there is no successful treatment at this time.
My doc showed me his books and journals and then we compared those pictures with the pictures of my eyes. He is very interested in this condition and he studies to keep up with all the lastest techniques. His interest in this rare condition is stemmed from his mentor (a professor) who has been studing this since the first documented case in 1968.

I do not remember the medical name for it but here is an explaination:
The veins behind my eyes are leaking just as a spider vein in your legs would leak. However it is been unsuccessful to try and laser the veins behind the retinas closed as they would with spider veins in your legs. No treatment has been successful in helping this condition. It is very rare and even rarer to have affected both eyes.

This is the discouraging part. No treatment available.
If the fluid continues to build I will probably lose my central vision.
My right eye is the worse however, my left eyes has worsen since my last apoinment in November.

Yesterday was hard for me as I had to deal with this information. The thought of losing my vision is hard. As I trust the Lord and His care for me I do worry about what I may face in the future. My vision has been failing more and more this year. It is hard to read with my right eye now and if my left continues to follow suit I will not be able to read most things. My right eyes blurs night lights and if this happens to my left eye I will not be able to drive at night.

Although my vision is bad after exercising I am encouraged to continue to exercise as it will not cause any other problems. I just need to use wisdom when I exercise. For instance it would not be wise to exercise and then drive home at night.

I will try and explain the effects this has on me daily.

The fluid behind my eyes seems to wax and wain. Therefore my vision can be better at some times. After laying down or sleeping my vision is blurry (both eyes)for about half any hour or so. This is from the fluid building up while laying down. After being up for about 30 minutes my vision levels out. With my right eye always blurred (it is kinda like looking through water). Most of the time I can not read with my right eye. At first this was very annoying but now my left eye just picks up the slack. After exercing both eyes will blur I compare that to looking through slighly fogged glasses. This usually lasts several hours.

The vision in my right eye has been continueing to worsen since this all started last year. Except for about 6 weeks after I had gotten the steriod injection. My left eye had remained constant for the last 7 months or so but now it has began to worsen. The tests confirmed the fluid is increasing behind both eyes.

The other thing I have noticed this last week is that I seem to be losing my depth perception at times. I have not asked about this yet as it is a new sympthom.

At my last appointment my vision was not 20/20 in either eye. It was 20/40 in both eyes. Before the appointment I knew my right was better that day and my left eye was bad. Which showed in the eye exam as the appointment before my left eye was 20/20 and my right eye was 20/50. This vision is with my corrected lenses on.

Night driving will probably be the first thing I will lose. Right now my right eye blurs the night lights but my left eye compensates for it. (The miraculous things this body can do). I still drive at night but do avoid it right after exercsing.

The next thing I will lose will be the ablility to read print. I can read now but there are some things that I can not read like my Bible. I am able to read the Bible on the computer or on my PDA, which is how I do my devotions.
My reading ability of a certain text has to do with the size of text and more importantly the font used.

The loss of central vision will mean the loss of detailed vision. I will still maintain my perphiral vision so I will be able to still see to some extent. I do find comfort in this.


My prayers are for a complete healing. thanks in advance for your prayers.

When is enough stuff, enough?

Today our study at Church was on:

 Timothy 6:6-8. But godliness with contentment is great gain:

⁷ for we brought nothing into the world, for neither can we carry anything out;

⁸ but having food and covering we shall be therewith content.

Pastor Joe spoke of contentment. What is contentment and can we find true contentment. This was a Fantastic Study. I know I struggle in this area. At times I could mention lots of things I would like to have. Yet, in none of these items will I find true contentment. I will only find the desire to want more things.Here is a conflicting statement from Larry the Cucumber  after the Bob the Tomato asks him "When will you have enough stuff? He replies, "How much stuff is there?" I can truly relate to this at times.

As the stores started bringing in all their fall items I told Laura to remind me I do not need any more scarecrows. I collect scarecrows and have too many already. Laura thinks it is fun to wrap her arm in mine when I look at the newest scarecrows and then she reminds me I do not need anymore scarecrows as she walks me to another area of the store. If only all things could be so easy.

My struggle for contentment is often shown in my lack of self control in the area of eating. At times in my life I would eat when I was bored, happy, sad, angry, hurt, anxious, not feeling well, etc. The end result of this was gaining weight. I look back at these struggles and can not hardly believe that I topped the scales at *** okay so I am not ready to say what my highest weight was. I am working on becoming more active, eating better and seeking God when the desire to binge comes. I ask myself will becoming healthier bring true contentment?

Contentment>>>>>>>>>>> Hmm>>>>>>>>> Food never supplied it. Although I truly am content in the role God has given me as wife and mother I sometimes struggle with the desire to want other things. Not just food but other things like clothes, flowers, furniture, a finished basement, a metal DDR dance pad, etc. None of these items will supply any contentment. Oh I will and have been happy when I get them but, it will soon wear off and leave me wanting more.

So how do we find true contentment? Is is attainable? Is it continuous?

True contentment is only found in a personal relationship with Christ. It is a daily commitment to seek God's will, to follow God's guidance, to study His word, to put God first in life, for in Him can true contentment only be found. The things of this world will pass away, someday we will stand before the Lord we will take nothing with us as we face the Most High God.

As Paul tells us in Phillipians 4: 11- 13 he found true contentment: This is my prayer to find contentment in whatever state I am in.

11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therein to be content.

¹² I know how to be abased, and I know also how to abound: in everything and in all things have I learned the secret both to be filled and to be hungry, both to abound and to be in want.

¹³ I can do all things in him that strengtheneth me.

To find this contentment I need to seek God my diligently. I need to study His word daily and draw closer to God. Getting physically healthy is a good thing after all our bodies are the Temple of the Holy Spirit however, getting spiritually healthy is much better, it should be a priority in life. 

As you read this it may sound like a rambling. At times I find it hard to put my thoughts into words. The point is back in 1Tim6:6 godliness with contentment is great gain. This will be my prayer. I will seek to have this in my life. I begin by seeking God daily in prayer, and reading His word. I am faithful in my prayer life but need work in my devotions.