almost a year later.

Well dang. It has been almost one year since i wrote on xanga! haha. how funny.

It's actually really funny. I am thinking about me this time last year. When i wrote my last blog about me throwing up religion. hmmm. selah...

oh come holy spirit! all i can say is "more". please. OH JESUS. Its so amazing to know now that I am a forgiven girl. I am his little girl. How precious am I? I am so loved. I love his presence. He is here right now with me while im making my xanga post! haha. I am just sitting here crying. I am so happy that He's Here! oh my. Thats all. I'm not a super girl or really good at many things. And he just shows up. SO passionately!!!!! I'm so happy and so grateful, for the cross. What a love, Jesus! I'm not always sure whats happening to me, i just know that my heart just starts feeling again. I can feel. Everything is covered.

I mean, what? I just dont think that there is anything more to life than this. The Holy SPirit. I am so happy that He showed me JEsus and that I can know the father! I dont know what to write about concerneing the past year. But I have just experience so much. SO much of his goodness. I am so thankful. I just want everyone to know how simple it is. What kind of wonderful God is this, that He is here with us. I have realized how emotionally attached God is to me. The Holy Spirit lives inside of me!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that? I mean. what? I'm just not over it yet. Im obsessed. I just want to know him better. I really want Him to take me places. Yeah. I think this year was only a exchange of glances.... like a turn of the head. thats all..... really.....a beautiful beginning. There is more to my life with God then just the effects of my good or bad choices. what is free will anymore??? I just love saying "yes" and Grace covers me all the way. I cannot run away from his love. gosh-  it has been so HUGE but  i feel so extreemly fascinated and just totally......addicted and i know because of His love, there is more. I am thrilled and blissed to recieve it. All that he has for me. LOVE.

So I have decided to jump into this xanga world.  It's pretty exciting if I do say so myself. Today I realized that we only have a few weeks untill Christmas break! YAY! I will be going to Irael during the holidays, and that is going to be really awesome. Oh, so this morning while driving to school I though about how good it is that God just loves us. Then all of a sudden this picture popped up in my head. It was me throwing up religion (as in vomiting...heh). Like all I saw was myself worshiping, and then......bllluuughh, I puked. So I was like, yeah, when you feel all gross because of food poisoning you feel soooo much better after to throwup. Kind of nasty I know, but to me it was so beautiful! Haha, me throughing up religiousness (if that is a word) and getting closer to the Father who delights in me.

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14