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| It's definetely time for an update.
Despite all that has happened God told me there will be a brighter day. <3
Life is like photography, only through the negatives do you develop.
Love V.S. Infatuation
Infatuation is fleeting desire . . one set of glands calling to each other. It is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about the relationship that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. It is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence, even when he/she is far away. Miles do not separate you. But near or far, you know he/she is yours, and you can wait.
Infatuation says "We must have sex or get married right away. I can't risk losing this person".
Love says "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence".
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.
Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When your crush is away, you wonder if he or she is being unfaithful. Sometimes, you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure, and unthreatened. Your significant other feels your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy. Love never steers you in the wrong direction.
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you better than you were before.
My opinion?
I think people take advantage of love too much, which is why a lot of people are stuck on the infatuation phase. By reading this, it gives you the feeling that love could be foolish, cuhs it totally brings your guard down. Right Nean?
Eye Candi ?
Location: Tama's Sushi
The Mamis: Jeanine - Krista - Mara
The Papi Chulos: Mike & Josh
Location: Christ Cares Alliance Church
JECmiah & Krista
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 Just when I thought I'd seen it all, our paths crossed and met and I knew from the First glance that you would be hard to forget. Your eyes attracted me first but you reeked of sultry confidence. I couldn't wait to touch lips and kiss with my heart's intentions. When we did it was what I expected and for that moment we erased the tension of the akwardness of first date impressions. We kissed again and I felt the passion and this was cupid's blessing. - Tupac
 
You are like hip hop. A perfect verse over a tight beat.
DANCE IS LIKE POETRY FOR THE BODY so write like nobody is watching & do it with a passion.
I've contemplated on wether or not I should release this peice as public. So don't make me regret it. [teehee] Getting in touch with my poetside again. Entitled:
"Making Love Spiritually"
Our sacred breath breathing in each other's blessed air. This blessed ground laying down, where you passionately stare; into my heart soo sure. Words come out of your mouth, gentle, rough, yet pure. Either way, romantically I gaze. & trapped I am indeed-- by your undeniable, soo desirable essence. Just being in the midst of your presence arouses my insides, indefinitely & in & out & in the most innocent way. Let me say, you are sinking into me soo deep. Deep. Deeper; than that, more than physical. Hell even-- more than mentally we touch, like there was no such thing as lust or hate or any word above, even love cannot come even a bit close to this affair in which we share. Soo deep that in heaven, if God decides that I go first I will wait for you there.
Wow. I never knew my soul had a g-spot. 
STREOTYPES. This world is so caught up with having to label every aspect. Using one person`s philosophy to assume the rest. Stating opinions as if they were facts. A person loses their soul, when they are driven by society. Their identity is lost, and you fall into one of the "categories" the society has created for You. who are you to sit there and tell me how im suppose to look, act, talk, and dress? Who are you to tell me who im suppose to be? I just do what I love, what I feel comfortable, what it feels right to my soul. God has created us to be our ownselves. Not to imitate others. Why be normal?
I know how it feels to be unappreciated, taken for granted. I`ve never had a problem with being alone. I`ve never needed friends to get my back. I`ve gone soft. At times I miss the old me. I don`t like how my friends can effect the way i feel. Fxck this shit. I`m on my own.
Upcoming Event:
Rusty's Amer-Asian Grill has currently set the date of the TALENT JAM that is to be held on April 30th 2005. First place winners of each category (singing/dancing) will be opening for Sharon Cuneta's concert downtown Jacksonville. Keep in mind, $250.00 will also be given to first place and uhhh I forgot how much 2nd and 3rd will get. But hey! It's mula! If you would like to be placed as a contestant, please contact Rusty's Grill at 725-1115, my cellular, or on AIM. My screen name is Laydie Havoc. Bye!
Nikki! Haha. I'm sorry. I had to jack this picture from your page! Joshua's my bebe! | | |
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Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out whom you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. in fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.
Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
Most importantly, if you love someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day that you live. Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.
"Ain't no holla-back girl." I know a lady deserves more respect than to be addressed as "YO." A simple hi will do, fellas. Go find yourselves some manners & then MAYBE we'll see about you gettin' them digits. Don't you DARE think about givin' girls the stare-down. Smile & they just might acknowledge your presence. Don't waste your breath on lame, memorized pick-up lines because frankly, they don't work. Treat a girl with respect & be real. Fuck game, spit the truth.
EDIT: "News Flash!!"
Rusty's Amer-Asian Grill is holding a "TALENT JAM" consisting of singers and dancers! The contest will be held approximately around Spring Break of 2005. Suggestion of practice should be like, NOW. So get your crews together and practice those vocal chords immediately. As of now, first place winners are opening for Sharon Cuneta's Concert downtown. You might even grab some cash on the way! If there are any concerns, questions, comments, etc. please contact Rusty's Grill @ 725.1115 ; Krista (me) on the cellular or simply on AIM: Laydie Havoc. Have fun guys! | | |
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I've gone through so much, and felt so many different emotions, and finally I've found you. I've gotten the one who I will waken to in the morning. The one who saves me from my thoughts and replaces them with the gifts of hope. It's amazing looking back and picturing us together. The way we met and or this all came to be is still some what more of a cheesy dream instead of a reality. You re-opened my mind to a new picture. And yet when I think about you, all I can picture is still a painting in progress. An image and will always stand out in time, that we are more of those two people who belong. You balance the imperfections I hold within myself. You place all the burdens I hold onto your shoulders, and I finally can accept that you won't let a tear roll down my face.
Now all I can say is with how fast this has gone by, I'm truly happy with the outcome. That you said everything you said, that you felt everything you felt. Because now I'm happy. Happy with the fact that I have you. That you broke down the pieces I held and rebuilt everything I had within me. I guess this all hit me when I woke up talking to you the first morning. That as we spent the first night together, I felt that I had been in your arms forever. Feeling your arms around me is the one moment I will never let go of. You make this world better, you make everything seem as if it has been there forever. That now all we need is to start over with our own belongings.
I'm honestly not scared. I don't fear the pace we move at together, or that though it's been close to a couple of months that I've let all of it slip into place with you. You have taken such a great grasp onto my life that I don't know what I would do without you. It's just odd how God let us meet. That I didn't notice you until you noticed me, or that as we spent time together I realized I couldn't hold back feelings from you. I love how we are so different yet alike at the same time. How at times we both laugh at the most ridiculous subjects. I'm so amazed at the changes you've gone through, because you've done this without even a second thought.
I guess now all I can say is that I'm glad that you've asked so many questions. That I hear from everyone over and over again that your feelings for me are certain. Or how at the end of the night there is always a tinge of pain having to let go of each other for the rest of the night. That I know in my head in the end we'll always be together. Because the emotions I'm feeling don't feel the same from the rest, it's not infatuation, it's become so different. That instead of saying it's too early to ask I've said yes to such an important task at hand. The one who goes beyond heaven and hell to understand the emotions I fear and love. He's the one who places me to sleep at night, my love that kisses my hand as my eyes travel around his face to memorize the features. At last I've found the boyfriend whom in my eyes are perfect and can turn my whole world at a complete 360.
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