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| I Am Jack's Restless SpiritI am jack's relentless self loathing.
I am jack's timidity.
I am jack's habitual lack of connectivity.
I am jack's aimless presence.
I am jack's passionless heart.
I am jack's opportunity starved being.
I am jack's creative squelched spirit.
I am jack's black lunged body.
I am jack's embodiment of envy.
It's three a.m. and I am fully awake..
I haven't had anything to drink, I haven't smoked, I haven't done anything extremely exciting or adrenaline stimulating.
I am self reflecting, and confused.
After much thought, I have concluded that I fail at being consistent. And I do it very well.
The only things I maintain consistently, are the things that I am obligated to maintain: work, school, relationship, breathing, sleeping, eating, moving.
As for everything else....they are nothing more than scattered autumn leaves.
If you fall under this category, I apologize. I honestly don't intend to ignore, forget, or become unpassionate.
I guess I really don't have any real prolongated attention span.
I feel like.....I'm waiting, for something epic, for something monumental, for something life-changing. But everytime, I feel let down and dissapointed. It's almost as if I took a fall, and tried to get back up again and it never happened, and now i'm waiting and trying to get up over and over and I never quite manage too.
The real problem with not being specifically passionate for any one thing is that in the end, all I have are fleeting bits of good times, good ideas, good relationships but I never hold on to something. In the end other people have their "one thing" to fall back on, a particular passion, a goal, a talent, an idea......but I don't.
I need a holiday.
Or some serious inspiration.
Or some consistency.
I'm not really particular....though maybe I should be.....but for now i'll take whatever....so please give it.
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Hey party people who I wish I was partying with right now. How's life?
Is that so??
Well, make sure you live it well.
So I have finals. Tomorrow I have government final. That is, after I Finnish writing the paper that I am currently writing now, and studying for my gov. final. Oh, and by the way, I really did mean FINNISH, those Fins are crafty people you know...never can tell what they're gonna do. One day they'll sit around eatin' pie, and drinking ales, and the next thing you know they'll be in your closet stealing your shoes and ties.
Fiends.
Pray for me, I feel weary, a feeling I fear shan't be relieved for some days to come.
Love for all of you, but unfortunately in small, regulated doses. Because I feel that my love supply silo is running low again.
It tis but a passing thing.
looove.
Me.
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| So, i've concluded that it would be an astonishingly good thing for me to take up online journaling again.
Also, I went out this morning to the park and read part of Hemmingway's A Farewell to Arms, and after reading vivid descriptions about war and destruction I looked up and saw the extent of fall's splendor. Just looking at the tree's radiantly sporting their crimson-orange leaves was an extrordinary contrast.
So i've concluded that I need to,
Paint more.
Fly a kite.
Journal.
Read more Hemmingway.
Notice beauty in the little things.
Catch a butterfly....because I was sooooo so so unsuccessful in doing so today.
Most importantly, over the past couple of weeks i've taken particular notice at work and school and just in general, that people have depressing tendencies. When I ask somebody how they're doing or what they're up to the most common response that I encounter is, "Ok". Or my personal favorite, "I'm good".
When did we settle for Ok and Good?
That's at best, sometimes I hear all sorts of depressing things, things that suck joy. Joy-suckers.
Anyway, I think life...it's for living..so live it, and find beauty.
That's all folks.
More to come.
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| I haven't posted in a long time....
I haven't been much in the mood, or if by chance I am, I never am collected enough to put into sensible patterns known as sentences.
I'm sorry about that folks.
I promise to get back on the ball soon.
As for now. Here's this:
"Hey There Delilah"
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.
Everything I do......I do it for you.
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| Errr....so I was looking at the videos on digg.com and found this...it's great!
Earth = PWNED!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5968977073007258412
More later, different stuff now. I swear i'll put up prom stuff soon.
Love,
Me.
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