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| Happy Thanksgiving. Today we went and saw the tree that we decorated in memory of Nicole at the Children's Hospital Tree Festival. It turned out really nice and a lot of people were stopping and reading our message about Nicole. We decorated the tree with homemade cards. The title of the tree is Nicole's Vision, In memory of her creativity. They sell the trees and the money goes to the hospital. What am I thankful for? I can't even say at this point. The loss of Nicole overshadows everything else in life. Another first without her. Monday is 9 months since she passed away. Still so hard to believe. I still weep everyday.
This is what we wrote in the picture frame with a picture of her.
This
tree is in loving memory of Nicole Webel Bodjanac. Nicole was diagnosed with cancer in October,
2005, and ended her journey in February, 2007.
Through her illness, Nicole always had a positive attitude and an
infectious smile. Her motto and message
she shared with others was “Either Way, I Win!” Nicole’s faith in Christ gave her the
assurance that she would be with Him in the end. She loved to make homemade cards, so this
tree is a tribute to her creativity.
We love you
Nicole! (and we always will)
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| Hi,
Today is the Saturday 3 years ago that Nicole and Rick were married. It has been a really rough week for me. I am not sure if it is because of their up coming anniversary or because tomorrow it is 6 months since she passed away. I just really miss her so much. I look at her pictures every day and miss that big smile and zest for life that she had. School starts this week so Renee and Danielle will be getting back into the routine. I just can't believe how fast this year is passing. Our grandbaby is getting BIG and so cute. He is such a bright spot in our lives, I love his smile. Life goes on and sometimes that is really hard to accept.
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| Today is Father's Day. It is also my mom's birthday. It was 6 years ago today that Nicole was baptized. She was so happy and full of smiles because it was her new birthday and grandma's birthday as well. My dad was still here too. The last 6 years have brought about a lot of joy and even more sorrow but it is because of that day 6 years ago that I KNOW I will see Nicole again. I have to keep thinking of her as smiling, singing, flying and waiting for us in heaven. It helps ease the pain. Make sure you appreciate your dads, or anyone else, while they are still here.
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| Last night we had what we call the Honors Banquet for Norton HS juniors and seniors. It is where all of the scholarships are presented to the seniors. It is a very nice night. A lot of work. There has been a scholarship started to remember Nicole. The requirements are that the student have a strong faith, good character and just be an outstanding example like Nicole. I did not set the criteria, her former basketball coach and others did. As he spoke it hit me again that this is so hard to believe. It was 5 years ago that I sat there with Nicole as she received several scholarships and honors. Some days I feel like I am living in a nightmare and I can't wake up. I will really never get over this. I just cope day to day and muddle along with what I have to do but Nicole is never, ever out of my mind. I have figured something out from all of this. People don't dread middle age because of looking old or feeling old but because horrible things like this start to happen and they don't stop. It is one thing after another. I am just waiting for the next tragedy in my life. Sounds bad but it is what it is. I remember my Grandma Beres saying she was ready to die and get out of here. At 30 I did not understand that, but now I do.
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| Today is my birthday. At my age you don't look forward to birthdays because they come around so fast. It is my first birthday without Nicole. It has gotten a tiny bit easier in the last 2 months but it has been 18 months of sorrow. I know this is crazy but sometimes I still can't believe this has happened to us. I know Nicole is having a great time because she is in paradise but here on Earth it isn't so fun right now.
Cindy
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