|
LeighHarriss424
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Birthday: 4/24/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Dancing, "making drama", flirting, being a phi mu, playing with my dogs, being out on the lake: skiing, tubing, driving our boat, drivin our jet skis, Country (mainly Tim Mcgraw), Rap, hangin out with my friends, birthdays( esp. mine!), chocolate, Cokes, Sonic Blasts,Big Silverados!!,old cars, Law&Order ,and THE OC!
Expertise: Flirting and making drama!
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  leighharriss4248
Member Since:
1/10/2005
|
|
| wow.... so tonight was a rough night. I found out richard is totally over me or workin on bein over me and doesnt love me naymore. I dont blame him let me go ahead and get that out. I just am takin aback. I spent two years of my life with a guy that i loved and cared for and i messed it up. 8i know i did. I have been slowly tryin to get myslef to terms with thta. I very forcefully pushed myslef into that realization tonight. I think the real realization will coem when he is engaged to sum1 else. which i do see happening. I had the most marvelkous last 2 years of my life bc of him hes amazing but now that that chapter is done ion my loife i need to look forward to what is to come i need to tottally close that with a the end and move on. This means no more thinkin ab him in the future as a poss for a future husband, i need to not feel bad when another boy shows interest in me. I dont need to feel bad when a boy wants to kissme and i kiss him back. no more. I will prob hurt but callin him has to stop that chapter has to stop recurring in thsi current chapter. THE END!!!!! | | |
| soooo wow its been a while! I just need to get some things out! I realizeed tonight what a very big mistake i made 6 weeks ago. I ended true love. I ended somthing that was so amazing i cant even put it into words. I had a man who loved me turly deeply whether i was wearin sweats, or if my boobs were hanging out and tight jeans. He loved me in my absolute crazy moments when i would drive an hr in tyhe middle of the night to come see him after he told me not to. I never realzied what that was. I nevr realized what i had was aman who would love me no matter what. I neevr realize i could trust him with my heart bc i had his. I was always too scared th rug would be pulled out from under me. Yes ity did but bc i pulled iut out from under myself. I can be upset about it or just realize what i have done and move on and make sure this never happens again. I can do this by realizing what i had was true and real love something that i could trust and give my whole self to. Somebody who would never pull that rug from me. I need to learn that is preciosu and if i ever find that again to hold on so tight and neevr let go because they will do the same rioght back if i give that to them the proimise of forvever with all of me! This might make no sense but it came stright form my heart and stright to these very bad typin hnads. sorry for the jumbled thoughgt process. | | |
| wow so i neevr have felt this way. i have never hurt so horribly much and ben so confused. im in love with a man and he doesnt show anythin back and all i feel is emptyness i want him to fill it up but i know i need me to fill it up and god but i am so scaredof losin him he is my best friend my confidant my lover and the guy that i want to spend everywakin moment with but i cant bc of distance. what i wanted was a chance to be free and chance to find myself but i lost the greatest thing in my life while doin so. i felt restricted withhim he didnt let me go out i felt like i constntly had to talk to him and now i cant imagine my life without it i know its jusrt rough right now but man i get extatic everytime he calls i get so excited if he is semi nice to me omg i was pumped but now now he has decided imteh evil bitch but i know we wont owkr it out till we talk and he is killin my heart i knwo i need to study and i wish i could but all i think ab is him and how much he means to me and i hate my mom bc she made me feel like crap so what if im young i can still be datin sum1 i dunno i hate this i hate it all i just wnat him to be my firend but all i do is mess it up i jsut had to block himi hate life! i hate mine esp i miss his lips and his sweet voice omg when he called me baby!!!!!!!!!!
| | |
| sooooo... its been a while! ok i know im not that good of a writer but i really really ned to getthis stuff out. sooo i have just recently found out my boyfriend will not be joinin me atr my college for the rest of my time here. He will be attending lsus. Yeah yeah i know its only an hr away and muhc better than 3 hrs like it was but it still is an hour i have to dirve to see him only on teh wekends. I know this must sound trivial to most of my feriends with bf far away (ahem bec i know 18 hrs) but oh well it seems like a lifetime when ur as needy as ia m . dont get me wrong i can have so much fun with or without my man but the thing is i miss him and he is my best friend and has been for a year and like 4 months. I mean it took me 8 years to notice how beautiful he is on the inside as much as the outside. he was is so dear to me and i cant bear to think of a nother year (im hopefully gettin out early) without his embrace everyday. my mom asked me in her i dont believe yur acctually doin this voice of what i was gunna do about it in teh summer?? i was like um come back eevry weekend liek i always have. my mother loves him and didnt mean anything by this other than wow i really want u home ( my mommy misses me) bc im goin to school for 2 six week sessions and my momma wont admit it but doesnt want me to be gone all summer she wants me to be home helpin her controllin peyton (hes bein bad). she awnsereed with hey at least u wont get tired with him (my father is a workahloic and wont come home for maybe 2 nights a week when hes busy) and i agreed but i know iw ouldnt get tired of him. I already want to be married to the guy and of course my mom had to throw in "yall r so young" i sdont know how many times i have heard that horrible horriblke sayin!!!!!!!!1 i hate it i know im young stop throwin it in my face. i know marriage is hard i ve watched my rents evolve from two sepereate people constantly workin on it and just now becomin an nsync 1 person u know!ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!1 anyway i m just bein retarded for bein upset i know it i mean hes happy doin thsi business and i want him to be happy(and also it mean we have some kinda money if we do get amrried(whole other worry that will be tackled another day))!!! wow this feels kinda good i nmigfht do this more often maybe richard wont get so frustrated with him havin to be my therpaist constantly! | | |
|
