ok, so i'm finally updating...well nothin' much has been goin' on, jus partyin' at frat houses and gettin' myself prepared for wut's gonna happen to me over stupid shit i did in the past...well i learned a hard lesson and that wuz that i'm not bullet proof, i got a.p.(alcohol poisoning) on saturday nite, started pukin' everywhere at chris's house and blacked out, almost choked on my puke, thanx to chris i didn't. apparently according to chris and his mom, i wuz cryin', thinkin' i wuz gonna die and then i puked in my hair and ya, big mess to clean up in the mornin'...anywayz, other than that, i've been havin' a lot of fun partyin' even tho i know all good things have to come to an end...once i get out, back to the parties i'll go...

"In the beginning it wuz all so clear, that i could do wut ever and have no fear, but now as punishment starts to near, thinking about the outcome, i start to tear. scared that i'm gonna lose wut i once had, the anger grows more and i jus get mad...can't believe i fucked up this fucking bad, knowing that i would've disappointed my dad...so now i don't know who i am or gonna be, now i can't live my life happily...wanting to end it every fucking day...knowing that's the answer i wanna hear u say..."