i miss xanga, period. its confimed that myspace has taken over everyones world - including mine.  lol well yesterday was interesting .. had a lil get together with all my new indian friends lol and there were only like 2 non-indian people there .. including myself lol but its definately okay .. cuz i felt comfortable and whatnot and it was definately so much fun =] i looove my new group <3 well so yes i have moved on from da drama .. its haunting me but .. i'm still moving on tha best way i can .. yes i do care about fighting with everyone .. but i made a choice to step out in my own way becuz i thought over and over about whether some things are worth chasing after anymore .. and i'm tired of making initiative as always. so there. i have changed .. but i just wanna be happy and some things you do need to sacrifice - not forget, but move on from .. yeah so i'm not tha same .. but live with it .. i don't need anyone .. and you don't need me.  i miss everything from last year .. but i can't live with crying every night about fear of things changing. <3

wow i have not updated this thing in like more than two months .. well shows how buzy i've kinda been haha not really .. just lazy .. i did get a job tho .. which i'm probably leaving in a couple of weeks because its interfering with stupid school .. lol oh yeah .. i'm a junior in hs now .. how exciting! lol j/p to tell you the truth .. all the hot guys left already .. damn college allumni .. and lima lol i have to admit .. i REALLY miss him alot but i've gotta move on .. well i'll try everyone .. thats the best i can promise .. everyone thinks theres something wrong with me .. and the more i keep hearing that the more i tend to believe it .. sad huh? school started last wednesday and the moment i stepped in the school i felt completely different; relieved i guess .. tho things with my friends have not been the best to look at .. quite nasty referring to friendships tho .. i think its better off this way because obviously some friendships are not meant to last the way things are and that change has to go through in order for things to be okay .. i won't say that the first day walking into school i felt empty knowing certain people weren't gonna have my back anymore but i was free to pay attention to the ones that would be right for me to be around .. even if you are so used to being around a certain person and proclaim them your best friend .. its just something to watch out for because everyday you learn something new about them .. and every time you accept to learn a new fact, its a risk you're taking between weather the friendship would work out or not .. so this year is definately different and the way i look at things is different .. this summer has taught me alot about people .. corny yeah i know but everyone has got to understand that you thought you knew me before but you don't now .. and some people are compeletely right the first time .. you don't know me .. i'm so completely busy now a days that i can't even have friends .. i'm so segregated from them because of my classes .. some of that stuff is good cuz i don't need anymore drama but some of it is like ughh my friends! you know? lol but my schedule these days is hellll .. i go to school 5 days a week with friggin 4 or 5 hours of hw and then on fridays, saturdays and sundays i have work ..but on saturdays and sundays right before i go to work .. i have a psat class to go to .. and then my week starts again on monday lol ughh sucks and i just came home from dance today and i have that every week too .. i'm in friggin pain .. so i have hw to finish .. so hopefully i wont forget about this thing .. myspace is soooo friggin addicting lol thats where most of my time online is consumed haha so visit me if you'd like or comment - www.myspace.com/cameraxshyx3 .. much love <3

is it true that wen you cry you show youre weak?
very few people have seen me cry - thats hard for me to believe
i have too many flaws to critique
so many imperfections to release
no one seems to ask whats goin on
maybe to everyone, nothings goin wrong
time's goin by fast like theres no stopping it
time's unstoppable with every moment being significant
witnessing a friend with tha troubles you coulda had
slowly losing one that didnt understand
letting go of a moment that you wish was with him
wishing the moment was still here bcuz hes gone like *this*
growing a year older and crying still because you didn't get what you want
thinking you were selfish though you've pretty much won every battle you've fought
still i keep in the tears to show my strength's still there
but no one notices, so you feel like no one cares
you lie saying everything's okay
that's wen optimism becomes a big mistake
the tears still are visable in the corner of my eyes
but i can't let go of tha day you came into my life
i'm being shot around my target
i'm always close but far enough to still have that feeling of regret
so i come across that day of choice
in the beginning i walk away and regret that i listened to my inner voice
in the end i get tha chance of a lifetime
to tell him how i felt this whole entire time
but i walk how i started
i go back to the beginning like nothing happened
so i was supposed to fix everything that went wrong until now
what have i earned from all the crying and thinking i let my hopes down
my heart hasn't realized that everythings coming to an end
but my mind is slowly tryin to comprehend
i couldn't understand why i couldn't choose the simplest way out
i'm jus wanting more and more like a spoiled brat
so i said i wasn't striving for perfection
and yet thats all i keep imagining over and over again
he wasn't perfect and that's what i felt everyone was criticizing
our chemistry was frustrating to understand even thro a length of time
so i'm losing everything i could have gained 2 whole years ago
so i'm crying over something that i coulda forgot about .. not followed