i need to pick up the slack in classes especially math.... and get a job!!! i suck at life.. but im so good at being drunk. 

after an emotional week, where i let myself down by putting myself out there only  to get laughed at.. this weekend was awesome..

but first last weekend: thursday night, got effin WASTED and Fast at jeffs after an awesome episode of greys and a wonderful old school trey town time with clayton, harm, and the middleton hotties at meijer to get muffins, and then at their dorm. eventually made it back home and made the biggest mistake i have made in a long time..  (see below) then friday harm and i got worshipped at this kids party and got to laugh at angie... saturday i took her to the WP and i frank myself into an oblivion.. blacked out for HOURS... wtf.. then it was family time sunday!

Save My Day

Ive been trying to pretend that things are ok

But no matter what I do, nothing seems to work

Because the vivid memories just replay

In the back of my mind where they lurk

I wish that you tell me what going on

Or at the very least, what Im doing wrong

Im scared that I really ruined it all

I wish I could just give you a call

But I don’t know how you feel

This thing that went down, it is all too real

Just when I started to see you in a different light

That was when I had to start this fight

A fight for you to look at me

And let things be the way they used to be

Its strange how much I miss you by my side

When all along my feelings for you I let hide

I guess you could say our timing is bad

And knowing you found her makes me so sad

I want you to know that im happy for you

Especially since there’s nothing I can do

Im really sorry for what I have done

Ive never known for us not to have any fun

Youre the one that always saved my day

You made me happy in so many ways

So take your time and think things through

And just know that either way ill be here for you

And hopefully after that things with us will be ok

And once again youll save my day..

anyway fuck all that!!!

i got drunk wednesday night after that nasty exam and i laughed so much in class that day!!! then i  smoked my neighbors pot and i got fucked up, just ask kim. so that ruined my thursday night, but that was ok bc i enjoyed having a calm girly night with harm at her place... friday jeff took me to buy matching shirts for a beer pong tournament which ended up just being a sweet party..  i got to see josh at the dorms.. and met some cool boys along the way.  i was crazy as usual and met some sweet ass people.. jeff took care of me and tabatha ended up taking brent home and that was fun.. 14!

saturday i cleaned the house like a freak..

that night kalei came over and so did jeff and his roommates, we go to the party nextdoor and realize we could get free cups at jeffs.. so we do this, and saw deer, and played beer pong and then went back only to find an expty keg...so we came home after buying taco beel and liquor.. sang karoke with the crew and jeff left. so kalei and i go up stairs and made the BFF<3++ pact and acted like children.  we get bored and decide to go for a walk, about 2 houseto find al and bob.. friends we met through courtney over the summer (ha like i really remember that!) well kalei and al some sort of love each other already soo.. this group of boys walks by and i feel the need to leave with them and follow them wherever... one was hot!!! anyhow we go back to the party.. drink the new keg for free..... played cards, kissed a random boy, held a snake, ate some ones mac and cheese...  got kicked off the porch.. it was crazy and i was out of control.. go home.. i guess the night was already forseen.. i take bob upstairs and kalei and al slept on the couch..  few things happen, and i wake up alone.. :(

today was nothing but laughin myself into pain with kalei, sleeping, eating, and sleeping, and eating more..

and procrastiating.. and not doing my math bc where is harmony??!!!  im a piece of shit!

its gettin bad.. bc i suck at school and getting a job.  Ive been drinking a lot and making bad decisions.. while doing so.. and i cannot even remember what happened the night b4.. but its just so much fun and im not gonna sit here and  pretend that its not.. cant i just become a professional drunk?..

and thats how i fell in love 3 times and out of it once...

"hey, you dont have any pants on."