| Lindsey Short's Rules of Library Etiquette: 1. Do not hold "group study sessions" on the third floor. These study sessions are the epitome of pointless. In addition to disrupting everyone's work around them, these "group sessions" accomplish nothing. They are merely opportunities for people to get together, complain about their classes, and annoy me. For some reason, those who choose to engage in such study sessions seem to believe that by sitting around a big round table on the third floor, they are being excellent students. Nothing could be farther from the truth. For reasons unbeknowst to me, these people leave feeling a great sense of satisfaction for having sat around for 3 hours talking about how much they hate their classes, who is dating whom, and their disdain for 99% of the student population. 2. Do not have food delivered to the library. Now, I understand that one often finds it necessary to bring some form of sustenance to the library for those long study sessions. I myself succumb to this desire pretty much everyday, often packing cans of pop, Capris, sandwiches, and Yogos in the evenings. I find no qualms with this. However, is it really necessary to order an entire pizza to be delivered to the library? Or Chinese food? All this does is send a hunger-inducing aroma throughout the entire library and encourage everyone to abandon their books and order food. Do you really want a food riot on your hands? I don't think so. 3. Do not take my Box. Nothing is worse than when I trot off to the library, prepared to spend a good several hours in intense study, and discover that my Box has been taken by some library amateur. These people have no understanding of Box etiquette. The Boxes are the hidden gems of the library; once a person has found one to be of their liking, they have the right to reserve that Box for the remainder of their years at Wittenberg. Take, for instance, my Box. We have a long history together; we see eye-to-eye. Yes, we have had our differences at times, but that has only made our relationship stronger. When some random student who has no concept of how to properly care for a Box comes and recklessly uses it, my Box becomes very upset (as do I). Please, library novices, have respect for yourself, if not the Boxes of the world, and chose a library location that has not been previously claimed. 4. Do not hold 20-minute long phone conversations in the library. I understand that it may be important to have your phone turned on in the library. However, if you choose to utilize this convenience, please respect your fellow library patrons, and limit your phone conversations. A quick greeting and arrangement of dinner plans is perfectly acceptable; however, if the conversation is to be longer than this, take your phone to the ground level or outside. This is not that difficult. For some reason, though, people seem to think that it is alright to spend 20+ minutes discussing last night's game or the fact that the CDR conveyor belt smells bad. I am not sure which is worse: people who just remain where they are seated and hold their conversations or people who move to the Bridge and continue talking. Newsflash: The bridge is a part of the library too. It is not some vaccuum that traps all sound and in which you can talk without disrupting anyone. If anything, it projects sound so that the whole library is now aware that your best friend is dating that guy from your History class. If you are willing to make the effort to move to the bridge, you can make the effort to go to the first level. 5. Do not imbibe in the library. Thankfully, I have never personally witnessed such an atrocity; however,a respectable source has informed me that he has run across students engaging in such a criminal offense. Is it really necessary to drink alcohol while writing a paper? I think not. And don't think you are being extra-sneaky by "hiding" it in a nalgene, because we can see right through your tricks. 6. Do not take Rich's spot. Although Rich, the greatest studier in Wittenberg's long history, has since graduated, his spot remains. Nothing is more sacred in Thomas Library than Rich's spot (not even my Box). To sit in Rich's spot is to suggest that you are as great a studier as he, which is impossible. Are you at the library when they open on Saturday mornings? Do you not wear shoes or socks while wandering the library? Do you reserve study rooms for the entire semester? Do you stay a week after finals and study more, just for fun? Don't flatter yourself. The only person for Rich's spot is Rich himself. 7. Memorize where all the library regulars sit. It is important to memorize where all the library regulars sit, so you do not inadvertently take their places. Most of the regulars are very kind, studious people who just like some form of constancy in their lives. Please respect their habits. 8. Do not be an M-F-S. An M-F-S is a Midterm-Finals Student. These are people who come to the library only twice a semester, on midterm and finals week. They typically do not understand library etiquette, break all of the above rules, and complain about the library the entire time they are there. Sometimes, however, while they are at the library, they like to call their friends and brag about how long they have been studying. This is especially annoying because not only do they carry on an extended phone conversation, they also rub in how much of an amazing student they are. This can be severely depressing when you have been there for longer than they have been, and you have gotten less accomplished because you are being so distracted by their habits. -Lindsey |
