hey kids

the most perfect phrase to describe this week/ weekend is "OUT OF CONTROL!" lol my new completely true phrase.

friday- went shopping for clubbin shirts with jaclyn. then attended a play with jenna and rachel. went to applebees and hit up phylers party. which was literally out of control.

saturday- oh snap, amazing! after much planning... me, becca, rach, jaclyn, katie, jenna, kaitlin, brock, matt juba, matt johnson, samuel ford nelsen, john, and <3 zach smith went to krobar to dance the night away and partake in some FUN. it was out of control. yay for disappointing god and breaking the jesus pact :( and... i danced on the bar, on the pole, on the stage! zach is wonderful and he drove me home and got yelled at :(. we had soooo much fun!

sunday- fed homeless people, played 5star (ah crazy), finally kissed zach after much hesitation.

monday- drama drama drama x 10 and misunderstandings bc of best guy friends who like ex girlfriends better than lisa clarks. zach bought me a beautiful red rose and apologized. then the next day... i bought him one in apology for my mean msg i left him. and i overreacted and was mean for once!!! i kno, so uncharacteristic... so out of control.

yesterday- watched... or rather... tried to watch mean girls with wonderful zach. i cant explain it... this kid does something to me, im just crazy when im with him. im literally out of control. like, i cant stop myself! lol. and theres all these cute signs telling me that it will be ok.

i love u kids bye <3lisa

this has been rough

extremely hard

it will never be the same and i wont ever be the same

my grandma got sick about 3 weeks ago and my house was just chaos. my family was just torn apart. my life was just out of control. she was the rock of our whole family... and she was crumbling right before our eyes. then she passed away and im awaken at 2am with sobs from mom saying "dad called..." and i just knew and i screamed no and then she said " the angels came for grandma." seriously... my grandma was the nicest, sweetest, most gentle, dedicated catholic, devoted family member, most adorable little lady ever. ill post a prayer that she wrote later. i gave the eulogy and made the picture board. it was nice to spend time with the extended family but we all wished it was under different circumstances. sooo my big 17 is on tuesday and grandma wont be here and robyn wont be here and its just too hard. everything is just too hard. and i get sad like this sometimes. but other times im just like... i know grandmas in heaven and i have wonderful memories... so i smile. and im hardening about my sisters situation... im becoming cold and bitter in exchange for my weakness and sorrow that i felt towards her. yeah... she wasnt at the wake by the way, but was at the funeral with her---- whatever the hell he is. that was hard too. i need a night out. a night away from being strong for the family and choking back tears. i need to step away from this pain. bye. <3lisa

hey kids

So the last soccer game of the season was today... 2-2 v brunswick. Dad took me to dairy queen afterwards, and some lady kept smiling at him... gross my dad was getting hit on, ew.

ryan topovski (my gorgeous husband!!!) asked me to a haunted house... but i couldnt go, sigh.

Me and jdawg pissed off mrs.d today... bc granada came to lunch again with one of the nights LOL! we are so badass haha. (we took some little dolls out of her showcase to lunch.) it was fun tho.

i think im hittin up the mall tomarrow with abby, jdawg, and maybe sam reffert... to go boyhunting: looking hot, scanning 4 hotties, having a hot makeout session, getting their digits, having a repeat episode, leaving the emotions at the door. sound fun? haha

<3lisa

so ive decided

that boys are deuschbags

but im over it

and on to better things

boys are a waste of my life anyway, i dont care

friends are better. being friends is better.

goodbye <3 you krazy kids

<3lisa