| | I don't think anyone can say, "I know what you mean." when I talk about how many times I've been screwed by my friends. You think you can only get hurt so many times, but I've been there, and way past that. I have to say, I'm more than surprised at the ones who gave up. I guess it just goes to show, no one can be trusted. Even the ones closest to you. I suppose this is my little rant that's been postponed for a while. I don't have the engery to care anymore, but that's so not true. If I didn't, I wouldn't be writing this, would I? It's all so tiring. I can't prioritize lately. The things that should be the most important to me are the least. I guess I was just always ment to be one of those "fucked up" kids. I'm seriously sick of the questions: "What's your major?", "What are you going for?", "What would you like to do in your future?" The answer is the same, "I don't know." I'm not interesting in anything. Most things bore me. I'm not even creative enough to think of something on my own. It really sucks being the youngest. I've been depending on others my whole life, and now that it's time to expand my wings and fly, I can't because I don't know how. It all really sucks. I can't fuck this up, because this is my future we are talking about. What I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I hate to say it, but old feelings about my future are back into play. Yeah, the old depressing ones. Everything would be easier that way. I need a definant change of attitude and life at this point. But honestly, I don't know how I'm going to pull it off. I just hope it's soon. I can't go on living like this. It's to the point where it's getting ridiculous. Funny how one little thing can trigger a whole load of things. Maybe if I had my priorities in order, this wouldn't have happened. I'm just going to pray for a change and maybe my life will be set on the right path. |
| | Posted 10/3/2006 2:44 AM - 1 comments
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