|
Lmkaiser
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Laura
Gender: Female
Interests: Trying to live my life for God, The out of doors, Harding (go Bisons), hanging out, current events, the out of doors
Expertise: procrastinating, rambling, clearing tall buildings with a single leap
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  lmkaiser117
Member Since:
3/15/2005
|
|
| Why football is never just football When most people go to a football game, they cheer for their team, boo at the ref, maybe eat a pretzel or a hotdog and then go home a little stiff from sitting on cold, metal bleachers for two hours. Not me. That would be too normal and my life has never been confined to the boundaries of normality.
Meredith and I had been sitting around watching movies for most of the day, so we decided since the rain had let up, we should go to the Bison game. It would be our first game as non-students. We were walking through the gates, discussing where to sit, when suddenly, a tall student approached us.
“You guys wanted your faces painted?†the tall student asked.
Merb and I barely skipped a beat as we said “no thank you†and continued walking.
The tall student stepped in front of us.
“Aw come on, it’s free!â€Â
I am sure this reasoning had worked on many a college student, but Merb and I were no longer college students. So we laughed awkwardly and tried to step around him. Merb made it safely, but before I could safely skirt the tall student, he reached out and put his arm around my shoulders and began to steer me towards the face-painting table. I looked up in shock thinking that surely I must know this tall student who was forcefully propelling me towards “school spirit,†but I am quite certain I had never seen him before.
Was he going to put me in some sort of sleeper hold while he tattooed HU across my forehead? Merb followed slowly behind us…close enough to keep an eye on things, but far enough away to avoid the tall student’s other arm and the half nelson that could have awaited her. All the while, the tall student kept talking, explaining the reasons we should wear face-paint. I kept saying “no thanks†but his evangelistic fervor continued until finally someone else asked him a question and I wriggled away from his death hold to freedom. And this all before the opening kick-off.
Shortly after halftime ended, I decided to go use the restroom. I can never remember which side of the concession stand the women’s room is on, so I made sure to read the signs carefully. As I rounded the corner of the bathroom door, I stopped dead in my tracks. There in front of me was a 6-foot tall, green boll weevil, the mascot for the other team.
Now, I don’t know if anyone else has ever happened upon a giant, green boll weevil in a public restroom, but let me be the first to tell you, it is an awkward situation. There was no one else in the bathroom, and I was horrified that I had possibly walked into the men’s room. I walked quickly back outside to make sure I was in the right place. I was. I walked slowly back into the bathroom, hoping that maybe the giant, green boll weevil had disappeared. It had not.
I started at it.
It stared at me.
At this point, I came to three possible conclusions:
1. The giant, green boll weevil was a girl. This, naturally, brought up a whole other set of questions about how she would even be able to use the restroom in such a costume.
2. The giant, green boll weevil was a boy, but because of the limited visibility in the costume, he had misread the sign and ended up in the wrong restroom. If this were true, the poor thing was probably feeling just as awkward and confused as I was.
3. The giant, green boll weevil was a boy. A pervy boy that used his giant, green disguise to sneak into women’s restrooms. If this were true, I next had to decide if the sleeper hold that the tall, face-painted student had used on me earlier could be used on the pervy boll weevil.
I suddenly realized that the giant, green boll weevil and I had been staring at each other for a longer-than-appropriate time.
“Are you, um, in line?†I asked.
It shook its head and moved to the side. As I rushed pass, I realized that I has just solved one of life’s greatest mysteries: Why do girls always go to the bathroom in pairs? Because when dealing with giant, green, potentially pervy boll weevils, there is always safety in numbers.
| | |
| Books, books, booksWell, Elrod tagged me and I need a little break from work. I will stay 10 minutes late tonight to make up for doing this on the company clock :)
One book that changed your life: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Persig. I first read this book in 11th grade AP English and I think I have reread it nearly every summer since. This book pretty much changed my entire view on life, truth, God and countless other things. It's not that this book addresses all these issues, but it definitely has acted as a catalyst for some serious pondering in my life.
One book that you've read more than once: The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis. This book was another revolutionary one for me. I have read it many times, and often use it when teaching classes or making presentations (to females only of course!) Also making this list: Utopia, Thomas More and All Quiet on the Wester Front, Erich Maria Remarque.
One book that you'd want on a desert island: Hmm...probably something that would make me think a lot...like a collection of the works of John Locke or David Hume or something along those lines. Then I would just read and ponder all day. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound so bad. Sign me up.
One book that made you laugh: America the Book, Jon Stewart. I laugh ridiculously hard when reading this.
One book that made you cry: I can't think of many books that have made me cry. It is my stone heart I guess :) I believe the first book that made me cry was The Bridge to Terabithia, Katherine Paterson. I read it when I was 10 or 11 or so.
One book you wish you had written: Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller. I love the way Miller writes. It is like he is just sitting there talking to you.
One book that you wish had never been written: I am going to go with most of the cheesy romance books.
One book you're currently reading: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus for the Office Place. This is a book our whole office is reading together. It seems a little "duh" so far, but maybe it will get better.
One book you've been meaning to read: The DaVinci Code. I am still trying to decide if I want to jump on the band wagon.
Tag five others: ha. I don't even know if there are five people that will read this. :)
| | |
| Hmm...I just spent the past two hours cutting out heads on photoshop. This is an incredibley tedious task. Especially when girls have hair going thirty directions at once. I accidentally gave one girl a beehive while trying cut out her hair. The good news is that by the time I did my 6th head, I could complete it in about 15 minutes, which is good for non-artistic people with unsteady hands like myself.
I think we are working our construction crews to hard. This is a sign in the heritage that I thought was xanga-worthy:
In other interesting news, there was a certain high school boy at Uplift this summer that declared his undying love for me nearly every time he saw me. This wasn't a first time thing for me. If I had a nickle for everytime I was proposed to by and underage boy, I would have about....85 cents. At any rate, I just assumed he was teasing, but the other day a girl came up to me and said "you're Laura Kaiser, right?" (for the record, no good ever comes from a conversation started in this manner). I said yes. She said "A boy that goes to church with me came to Uplift and he talks about marrying you all the time. He is so in love with you." Great. You know, I can get the underage boys, and the men my grandfather's age...it's just the boys my age that don't get me I guess. Ha. I should just get a sugar daddy...and his son? ew. I make myself laugh.
Last night I was babysitting and we ordered pizza. The pizza pro guy that delivered at an lip ring.
Little Girl: "what's on your lip."
Me: "um, let's go eat, aren't you hungry?"
Pizza guy: "A lip ring."
Little Girl: "You're silly. Laura, doesn't he look silly?"
Me: "yum, pizza. Let's go inside and eat."
Whew, awkward turtle. The pizza man left laughing and as soon as he was out the door I fell on the floor laughing too. Oh the joys of youth...you can say just about anything and get away with it cause people think you are so cute.
| | |
| WorkaholicSign #56 that you work in an office of workaholics:
Your boss comes in at 10:30 p.m. and does not seem at all suprised that you are still there working away. In fact, he sits down to discuss work with you.
I love my job. I work with the best people doing stuff I love. Who can help but be a workaholic in an envirnoment like this?
And now, an e-mail my dad forwarded me entitled "employee of the month." It seemed appropriate for this entry.
| | |
| Random thoughtsThe students are coming back. This is probably my least favorite part of summer. People never believe me when I say this, but summers in Searcy are absolutely amazing. And this summer has been the best one so far...and ironically the worst one. I have had to say goodbye to most of my best friends and I think the realization that they aren't coming back will really hit me full force in the next week or so. At the same time, I have come even closer to the friends that have stayed...so much so that I can't really remember how things were before we spent so much time together.
I am out of the closet now. My former office (a closet) is now serving it's rightful purpose and I am in a real office with a window. I look out on the science building. It has big refelctive windows, so it's kind of like I have my own big screen to watch the clouds collide on. Sometimes people make-out in front of my window. I don't so much appreciate that. I think having a window has helped me havev a better attitude about work. My favorite time of the day is right around 10 a.m. That's when the sun comes right through my window and it is the one time of day I am actually warm at work. Plus, it is hard to get down when the sun is shinging right on me. It is usually my most productive 45 minutes of the day.
I have seven nametags for work. We are supposed to start wearing them everyday, I guess I can wear a different one for each day of the week?
Issue two of the magazine goes to press in one week. No one will see me this week. I think I will keep a change of clothes in the office, cause I will be logging a ton of hours.
I think I like living by myself, but that kind of scares me. I was reading a book about how people that live alone slowly go crazy without even knowing it. I hope I don't go crazy (crazier?).
India.Arie is amazing.
Renee asked me last night if I was happy. I didn't know how to answer. I am not unhappy. I stay busy. That keeps me from thinking too much. Staying busy makes me not unhappy.
| | |
|
