w0werz yesterdaii wuz madd crazii . . me nick nikki n cliff cut again . .  l0lz . . we watched da m0vie "Friday" . . it wuz madd funnie l0lz . . i had ma head 0n nickz sh0ulder da wh0le time . . he s0o warm . . *sigh . .* l0lz . . den nick n cliff went 0ut t0 get sum beer since all nikki had at her crib wuz a lil bit 0f tequila . . n nick t0ld us t0 finish it 0ff =P l0lz . . n me n nikki started drinkin it wen dey left n shytz . . n we g0t all hyper wen dey came bacc . . it wuz funnie . . dey br0ught like 2 big ass b0ttlez 0f budwiser l0lz . . n we all finished em . . n nikki wuz b0uta fuccn pass 0ut l0lz . . shyt wuz funnie . . n i g0t all hyper n shytz . . we all had funnz n shyt but den nick wuz pissd 0ff at me . . dun wuna get int0 dat . . aniwaiz den we made sum fo0d . . 0kk n0o nick made sum fo0d l0lz . . nikki wuz kn0cked 0ut sleepin . . n i juz had ma eyez cl0sed cuz ma head hurt . . l0lz . . o0o ya n cliff left r0und like 12 . . aniwaiz . . me n nick left r0und 2 0r sumtin . . n we went bacc t0 his crib n shytz . . n chylld sum m0r . . l0lz . .

aniwaiz . . t0daii wuz a bytch . . n im pissd 0ff at maself . . see t0daiiz april fo0lz daii n shyt . . n in da m0rnin i reminded nick it wuz april fo0lz s0o den lata hez like o0o ya lika did i tell u me n eve g0t bacc t0getha . . n i wuz like givin him a lo0k . . i knew he wuz juz fuccin ar0und n shytz . . but stillz . . juz g0t me thinkin . . b0ut h0w i wud feel if dey rllie did get bacc t0getha . . u kn0o wut i meanz ? . . n i wuz thinkin b0ut dat like all fuccn daii . . n i wuz writin his name all 0va ma binder . . n shytz like *i l0vE u* n shytz . . s0o aniiwaiiz at like 3:40 me n nikki went t0 pick nick up frum w0rk . . s0o i kinda wunted t0 fucc ar0und wit him s0o i t0ld nikki t0 pretend she pissd 0ff at me . . n aniwaiz we g0t thurr n im like y0o nikki shud i tell him . . n shez like 0mg i hate u! u fuccn bytch . . n im like u guna hav t0 accept it 0k we like each 0tha!!! . . n nick wuz like wut tell me . . n i wuz like nahh i cant i dun like hurtin ppl . . n hez like juz tell me . . s0o im like 0kk see i kinda calld cliff frum scho0l cuz i had a free peri0d . . n we wuz kinda flirtin . . n he kinda asked me 0utz . . n i kinda saiid yes . . n 0mg!!! lma0z ya'll shuda seen nickz face . . n i wuz like april fo0lz daii!!! . . n me n nikki started crackin up!!! . . shyt wuz s0o funnie . . nick g0t s0o pissd 0ff . . he wuz like i wuz b0uta fucc cliff up!!! . . l0lz i juz cudnt st0p laughin . . s0o aniwaiz wen me n nick t0ok da train h0m . . i kinda g0t pissd 0ff cuz he t0ld me sumtin . . n he wuznt j0kin ar0und . . n he acted like it wuz n0o big deal . . n den he wuz j0kin ar0und b0ut sum shyt b0ut him n eve n kept saiin april fo0lz!!! . . n den he wuz like u n me wuz an accident . . (da waii we ho0ked up) . . n i wuz like n0w u g0t me thinkin if u eva liked me . . n i did n0t mean dat . . i wuz juz kiddin . . but he g0t all pissd 0ff at me n left . . s0o i juz went h0m . . but i dun0o h0w he can think dat i wud eva d0ubt him caring b0ut me . . i mean damm all da shyt he did f0 me . . n everiithin . . all 0f dat meanz s0o much t0 me . . n im rllie s0rri nick . . i wuz juz kiddin . . plz dun be mad at me . . =[[ . . i dun0o . . even th0o we r n0t g0in 0ut n shytz . . but u mean da w0rld t0 me . . i l0ve u n i mean it . . w0w great i g0t tearz g0in d0wn ma eyez n0w . . ugh . . itz weird but i alwaiz hav tearz in ma eyez wen i think 0f da l0ve i hav f0 u . . ughhh . . i juz hate thiz s0o much . . im 0utz . . ~WuNz~ . .

LuV is liKe mAkiN a SnoW aNgeL . .
. . itS nEvEr . p E r F e C t .

well nick made his desici0n . . he pickz n0 0ne . . egh . . pissd me 0ff . . i dun0o . . it juz rllie did . . but i understand him . . he dun wuna hurt itha 0f us . . n he dun wuna ruin da friendship n shytz . . even th0o da friendship me n eve had iz alreadie dead . . least i think it iz . . but i juz w0nder wh0 hed pick . . i dun0o . . i guess i juz needa kn0o . . yesterdai wen i wuz 0n da f0ne wit him n he t0ld me he pickz n0 0ne n shytz . . n i had like tearz c0min d0wn ma eyez n shytz . . itz 0kk th0 . . it juz hurtz . . cuz i rlli wish i cud be wit him . . i rlli d0 . . but i guess ma l0ve juz aint enuff . . i dun0o . . i juz feel s0o l0st . . im happi i get t0 spend time wit him th0o . . i juz l0ve bein in his armz . . lo0kin in his eyez . . juz kn0win hez therre . . wit me . . juz makez me feel s0o safe . . happi . . l0ved . . but it als0 hurtz . . cuz i kn0o he dun feel da same waii b0ut me . . like wen im wit him . . i get thiz feeling like in ma heart . . n ma wh0le b0dii . . dat feeling . . like hez da wun . . i wish he had da same feeling f0 me . . but i dun0o . . i juz cant st0p thinkin b0ut him . . cant c0ncentrate 0n anithin anim0r . . all i eva d0 in class n0w iz juz z0ne 0ut thinkin b0ut him 0r write shytz in ma  binder b0ut him . . i juz dun seem t0 giv a fucc b0ut nun else n0 m0r . . n0b0dii else mattaz . . n da l0ve i hav f0 him . . iz guna staii in ma heart . . n it w0nt g0 awai . . it juz w0nt . . im fuccn crazii i wuna scar his name int0 ma arm . . n i t0ld nikki b0ut it n she started freakin 0ut 0n me . . i dun giv a fucc th0o . . ima d0 it aniwaiz . . ~WuNz~ . .

[ ani0ne ] can make y0u smiLe
but it takes sum0ne [ spescial ] t0 make u smiLe
when there are . tearz . runnin d0wn y0ur eyesz

das like nick rite therre . . n0 matta h0w much i crii n n0 matta h0w mad i am . . he can still make me smile . . i l0ve dat b0ut him . . i l0ve everitin b0ut him . . i l0ve him . .

0mfg y0o . . i feel like fuccn hurtin sum0ne rite n0w . . everithinz drivin me fuccn crazii . . i dun0o wtf t0 d0 aniim0r . . im juz s0o c0nfused n im gettin hurt . . n itz all ma fuccn fault . . i did all dis shyt t0 ma 0wn damm self . . im juz s0o fuccn stupid . . i care b0ut fuccn ppl wh0 dun giv a fucc b0ut me . . n i kn0o i shudnt . . n i kn0o i shud juz fucc em 0va juz like dey fuccd me 0va . . but i juz cant . . dat shyt juz aint me . . dis shyt iz juz fuccn crazii man . . fuccn nick thinkz i aint fitin f0 him 0r wuteva . . 0r dat i dun care 0r sum shyt like dat . . but nahh . . shyt aint like dat at all . . i fuccn l0ve him . . n i t0ld him i d0 . . but i cant d0 dat shyt t0 eve . . daz y itz all up t0 nick . . i aint guna fucc eve 0va like dat . . itz like im juz lettin her hav him . . by lettin her spend s0o much time wit him n shytz . . wen i cud be therre t0o . . but nahh . . i juz let her spend time wit him . . bcuz i fuccn care b0ut her . . n wunt her t0 be happi . . even if it hurtz me . . even if i kn0o she haz m0r 0f a chance wit him . . but it juz duznt matta . . cuz all i wunt iz f0 nick n eve t0 be happi . . daz all i fuccn want . . n nickz tellen me t0 st0p bein s0o selfless n shytz . . but i cant . . cuz i juz care b0ut fuccn eve t0o much . . yes i feel like fuccin killin her n shytz . . but dat dun change da fact dat i fuccn care b0ut her . . nick . . w0w y0o . . i dun0o wtf t0 d0 aniim0r . . it hurtz s0o much t0 be ar0und him . . bcuz everitime im wit him . . i juz wuna hugg him . . n kiss him . . n tell him i l0ve him . . n i cud hav t0daii . . but i didnt n i cudnt . . bcuz i juz cant d0 dat shyt t0 eve . . daz h0w fuccn stupid i am . . im givin up myy fuccn happiness f0 her ass . . n itz pissin me 0ff s0o bad . . i juz cant take thiz n0 m0r . . i juz wish nick wud pick sum0ne alreadi . . i kn0o itz hard f0 him . . but thiz shytz hurtin me t0o fuccn much . . n i keep tellen him t0 juz be wit eve . . bcuz if he'll be wit me . . i kn0o she aint guna be ko0l wit it . . but if he'll be wit her i kn0o ill be ko0lz b0ut it . . n im alwaiz guna be thurr f0 dem . . n0 matta h0w much it hurtz me . . bcuz i juz dun matta . . least n0t t0 ma fuccn self . . i juz l0ve him . . i rlli truly d0 . . dat feeling iz juz in ma heart . . n it supp0sed t0 feel go0d t0 l0ve sum0ne . . n it duz . . but it juz rllie hurtz . . n i feel like im fuccn everithin up by tellen him dat i l0ve him . . i juz wish i cud be wit him . . h0ld him . . kiss him . . juz . . be wit him . . but i cant . . n it rllie hurtz . . but itz 0kk . . itz duznt matta . . ill be iigh . . ~WuNz~ . .

311 - L0vE s0nG

whenever im al0ne with y0u
y0u make me feel like i am h0me again
whenever im al0ne with y0u
y0u make me feel like i am wh0le again

whenever im al0ne with y0u
y0u make me feel like i am y0ung again
whenever im al0ne with y0u
y0u make me feel like i am fun again

h0wever far away, i will always l0ve y0u
h0wever l0ng i stay, i will always l0ve y0u
whatever w0rds i say, i will always l0ve you
i will always l0ve y0u

whenever im al0ne with y0u
y0u make me feel like i am free again
whenever im al0ne with y0u
y0u make me feel like i am clean again

h0wever far away, i will always l0ve y0u
h0wever l0ng i stay, i will always l0ve y0u
whatever w0rds i say, i will always l0ve y0u
i will always l0ve y0u

[ [ . . if i had t0 ch0se whether t0 l0ve y0u 0r breathe
. . i wud use my veri last breath t0 sai i l0ve y0u . . ] ]

nikki came 0va ma crib t0daii . . we chylld herre f0 a while den i calld nick t0 see wut time we wuz all supp0sed t0 be at his crib (cuz we wuz all supp0sed t0 chyll again: me nikki nick eve xtina stacii mia alif n cliff) n he t0ld me dat "sum ppl" saiin sum shyt b0ut h0w i wuz givin dem an attitude yesterdai . . s0o im like wtfz wuteva man den i w0nt c0m . . s0o den lata stacii calld me saiin nick dun wuna chyll n0 m0r n dat she wuz wit eve n xtina . .  s0o i wuz like iigh den letz all meet up n wutevaz . . s0o me n nikki left ma crib r0und 2 0r sumtin n went t0 pick up eve xtina n stacii frum evez crib but dey saiid dey hada staii thurr cuz evez dad needed her n shytz n dey saiid dey hada meet mia s0o we wuz like iigh we'll g0 meet her s0o we walked d0wn but she wuznt thurr s0o we wuz walkin bacc up n we saw eve stacii n xtina n den we all saw mia walkin . . s0o den we all went int0 da st0re cuz mia wunted t0 buy a headband n shytz n we wuz talkin b0ut y nick dun wuna chyll . . n stacii wuz like y dunt we find 0ut . . s0o everi0nez like iigh s0o we went 0va t0 his crib n shytz . . n we wuz walkin in da middle 0f da street screamin n dancin n shytz . . n wen we g0t t0 nickz crib he wuz lo0kin 0ut da wind0w n shytz n he wuz like ya'll w0ke me up i cuz hear ya'll d0wn da wh0le bl0ck . . we wuz like o0psyy hehe lolz . . it wuz funni th0o . . aniwaiz we staiid at his crib f0 a while n i put eyeliner 0n him . . it lo0ked madd go0d but his br0 hada be a bytch n t0ld his dad n he started bytchin n shytz . . aniwaiz we wuz all chyllin n shytz n xtina started bein a bytch t0 me f0 n0 reas0n s0o den she left t0 nickz p0rch n eve went wit her n stacii n mia . . s0o like me nikki n nick wuz thurr al0ne . . s0o i wuz gettin madd pissd n i wuz like y0o wtf man f0 reallz . . n nick wuz tellen me t0 be nice n wutevaz . . n he calld xtina bacc in n shyt . . n she wuz like o0o she g0t an attitude n eve think she all 0va u n shyt n she pissin all 0f us 0ff n juz bullshyt like dat . . n den she wuz like o0o y am i 0nli here itz all 0f us . . s0o he calld all 0f dem in . . s0o im juz sittin u kn0o . . n im juz like thinkin . .  w0w u kn0o . . wut nice frndz i g0t . . aniwaiz everi0ne g0t a turn t0 sai wtf dey had against me n shytz . . n stacii wuz givin me a fuccn attitude n i wuz fuccn b0uta punch her in da face n shytz . . cuz like wtfz u kn0o . . n fuccn eve y0o i cant believe her . . afta all da shyt i t0ld her yesterdai . . she fuccn actz like dat y0o . . i dun0o it wuz like dey all fuccn against me f0 n0o fuccn reas0n . . i mean shyt dey pissed me 0ff yesterdaii t0o . . but damm i fuccn g0t 0va it cuz it wuznt a big fuccn deal . . n fuccn nun 0f dem wunted me t0 be thurr n i rllie wunted t0 leave 0r fucc sum0ne up . . but den im like wuteva fucc it . . s0o by da time we left nickz crib n walked up da bl0ck his parentz n his br0 wuz c0min bacc in da car . . n his bro BJ wuz hittin 0n stacii n shytz . . n we wuz all pullin her t0 him n shytz . . l0lz  it wuz funnie . . s0o den fuccn all 0f us g0t al0ng again n shytz . . n den fuccn alif calld n him n BJ wuz walkin up da bl0ck n shytz . . n all 0f us went t0 da park . . nick n bj wuz plaiin basketball n all 0f us wuz chyllin at da bench n shytz . . mia seemed kinda mad . . i dun0o y rllie . . she didnt tell me but she said it wuznt me s0o i dun0o . . we to0k sum picz . . n cheered nick 0n . . l0lz . . den wen mia n xtina went t0 da swingz alif saiid sum shyt b0ut xtina wuntin t0 ho0k up wit cliff . . n everi0ne g0t int0 thiz wh0le big thing b0ut it . . n we wuz all g0in bacc t0 nickz crib but we wuz like walkin in 2 gr0upz . . alif eve stacii n mia . . nick nikki xtina n me . . n nick wuz gettin pissd 0ff cuz like he saiid we all a family n0t 2 gr0upz . . s0o wuteva we all walked t0getha again . . n we g0t t0 nickz crib . . n i hada g0 h0m n shytz . . n s0o did nikki . . n n0one wunted t0 walk her t0 da train n ma m0m kept callen evez cell n shytz . . s0o i went 0utz t0 call her bacc n nikki went wit me s0o i hada leave n mia n eve came 0ut n shytz . . n i rlli hada g0 s0o mia n eve said dey'd sai bai f0 us s0o me n nikki juz left . . n i wuz walkin h0m by maself n sum niggaz in da car wuz h0llerin at me n shytz n i wuz ign0rin dem . . n i wuz gettin madd fuccn paran0id cuza da shyt dat happnd t0 me . . n n0w fuccn 5 0r 6 guyz in da car fuccn f0ll0win me n i wuz juz like 0mfg y0o . . n dey wudnt shut up s0o im like fucc 0ff y0o . . n dey wuz saiin shyt like c0m hurr babii we'll giv u a nice ride . . n dey had da music blastin . . n 0ne 0f dem g0t 0uta da car n hez like y0o c0m here babi i wuna talk t0 u s0o i juz lo0ked at him n kept walkin . . n he g0t bacc in da car n dey wuz still f0ll0win me n saiin shytz n den wen i g0t cl0se t0 ma building dey dr0ve 0ff madd fast n im like damm y0o finally . . shyt rllie freaked me 0utz . . but wuteva u kn0o . . i dun rlli giv a fucc b0ut dat rite n0w . . juz gettin t0o manii flashbaccz int0 dat daii . . aniwaiz . . im iigh . . ill get 0va it . . ~WuNz~

-l0ve's truth is alwais kn0wn in the heart-
.y0u can 0nly escape it f0r s0o l0ng.

0mfg . . w0w . . t0dai wuz crazii . . madd fun n fuccd up at da same time . . in da m0rnin i went t0 meet eve . . i wuznt rllie guna g0 cuz i wuz like nahh y0o fucc dat shyt . . but den im like nahh fucc it i HAV t0 g0 . . s0o i met her n shytz . . n i calld nikki but she didnt hav an 0pen crib . . s0o i t0ld her t0 c0m meet us n shytz . . me n eve went t0 nickz crib n den met xtina . . n nick t0ok us t0 LIC . . ne we chylld thurr f0 like an h0ur 0r sumtin . . n nikki met us 0va thurr . . nikki wuz s0o pissd 0ff at me . . cuz i made her cut again since we cut yesterdai . .  n she juz dun undastand y i wuz wit eve n shytz . . s0o aniwaiz me eve xtina n nikki waited f0 nick t0 c0m 0utz . .  den we went 0n da train n wen we g0t 0ff we hada g0 thru da park . . n we saw a c0p thurr . . s0o we all like o0o shyyyt!!! n we ran like fuccn crazii . . da c0p wuz like y0o!!! . . n we ran d0wn da stairz 0f da park rite awai . . n d0wn da bl0ck t0 nickz h0use . . it wuz madd fuccn funnii lma0z . . 0mg wen we went int0 his h0use we juz all c0lapsed 0n da flo0r . . lma0z . . shyt wuz funnie . . im nevaa guna f0rget dat shyt . . l0lz . . aniwaiz . . den we wuz all juz chyllin 0n da bed n shytz . . eve wuz layin 0n da otha mattres . . me nick xtina n nikki wuz 0n da big mattres . . we wuz listenin t0 music n shytz . . n da s0ng luv me babi by murphy lee came 0n . . n dat s0ng remindz 0f a l0tta shytz like wen me n nick started g0in 0ut/likin each 0tha . . wuteva u wuna call it . . n i like had ma head d0wn n shytz . . n i wuz juz thinkin b0ut everithin . . n i had tearz in ma eyez . . den nick g0t up n went int0 his ro0m 0r w/e s0o i g0t up n went 0va t0 eve . . i wuz askin her if shez 0kk n shytz . . n i t0ld her n0t t0 w0rri b0ut me n dat im iigh n dat she shud juz be wit him n d0 wuteva she needa d0 . . s0o den we all wuz in nickz ro0m n shytz . . n we started jumpin nick . . n wrestling wit him n shytz . . den we heard da do0r bell n it wuz stacii n mia . . stacii th0ught we wuz mad at her n shytz . . but we wuznt . . s0o den  we kinda talked b0ut it n shytz . . n nick went 0utz 0n da p0rch s0o i went 0utz t0 trii t0 talk t0 him but he wudnt tell me wtf wuz wr0ng . . s0o den we went bacc inside n shytz . . n we all started wrestling again . . it wuz madd funnie . . we all fuccd nick up hehe . . s0wwi nick . . l0lz it wuz funn th0 . . aniwaiz . . after dat i wuznt rllie in a go0d mo0d . . dey all started plaiin DDR s0o i wuz juz sittin therre . . thinkin b0ut shytz . . nick wuz askin wutz wr0ng n shyt but i wuz like nahh nuttin . . den we all went 0utz t0 burger king . . n rite bef0 we left nickz parentz came h0m . . n dey f0und 0utz b0ut da bill ($153) cuz he went 0va his minz da daii dat shyt happnd t0 me . . s0o i blame maself f0 it . . cuz it izz ma fuccn fault . . nick wuz talkin b0ut d0in sum stupid shytz . . s0o dey all went n me n nick staiid at bk t0 talk n shytz . . n we juz talked a lil n shytz . . n den we left t0 g0 meet everi0ne . . n he wuz askin me wtf iz wr0ng n shytz . . n i still wudnt tell him . . i juz cudnt . . cuz 0f eve . . cuz i juz dun wuna fucc everithin up again . . nick g0t pissd at me 0r w/e wen we met dem . . s0o i asked him t0 walk wit me f0 a while t0 talk n shytz . . s0o we went n i t0ld him i miss him . . miss da waii shyt used t0 be . . since nunz da same n0 m0r . . n i wuz tellen him he shud be wit eve . . cuz i mean i dun0o . . i guess dey r juz rite t0getha . . i juz wunt em b0th t0 be happi . . even if it meanz ill be hurt . . itz wuteva . . i can take da pain . . aniwaiz . . we wuz chyllin plaiin handball n shytz . . n xtina saw dis kidd andy wh0 she g0t beef wit . . n his sis wit her frnd . . n we wuz all b0uta fucc em up . . cuz andy wuz startin shyt wit xtina . . n andyz sisz frnd wuz stickin her middle fingaz at us . . s0o we all hada h0ld each 0tha da fucc bacc l0lz . . we met cliff rite afta dat shytz . . t0ok nikki n stacii t0 da train . . den walked mia h0m . . den went bacc t0 nickz n xtina left n shytz . . s0o me nick eve n cliff wuz chyllin n shytz n virginia came . . s0o den i hada g0 meet ma sis at da train s0o we all left n shytz . . we met her n dey all walked us h0m . . wen i g0t h0m ma m0m started bytchin f0 n0 reas0n s0o i juz ign0red her . . aniwaiz . . i feel s0o weird rite n0w . . i rlli miss nick . . nuttinz da same n0 m0r . . i miss da waii everithin used t0 be . . i miss him h0ldin me in his armz . . i miss hearin his sweet v0ice . . calmin me d0wn . . tellen me everithinz guna be 0kk . . it juz hurtz s0o much . . i cant even explain it . . therez sumtin i aint t0ld anii0ne . . n aint rllie guna tell n0 0ne . . least i dun0o if i shud . . i juz feel like ima fucc everithin up if i even talk ab0ut it . . itz n0t even rlli imp0rtant . . duznt matta . . juz ma feelingz . . aniwaiz t0daii wuz crazii . . iighz y0o im 0utz . . ~WuNz~ . .

. . a great l0ve . . ?
itz wen u shed tearz f0 him . . but u still care . .
itz wen he ign0rez u . . but u still l0ng f0 him . .
itz wen he startz l0vin an0tha . . n yet u manage a smile . .
n find the c0urage t0 saii ''im happi f0 u" . .