Longtalks_and_tearyeyes's Xanga

He can move the mountains

Tue, 27 May 2008 14:20:33 GMT

Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here

Well, the time has come.
I'm off to Colorado on Thursday, and I'll be there for 10 WEEKS!
I can't even explain to you how certain I am that this summer will CHANGE MY LIFE!
I know that God's going to work in me this summer, it's just one of those feelings....I know.
I wish I knew what it is going to look like after,
but what where would the beauty in the learning process come from if I knew the ending already?

He has been preparing me for this the entire year.
There had to be a reason for everything,
All the tears, all of the lessons I have learned, all of the prayers I've prayed.

This is going to be an incredible test of faith and growth.
I'm pretty scared because I know that I will be opening up, more than I've ever thought possible.
I'm scared that when I come back home I will not be able to express/share with others how my summer really was,
and that I'll fall back into the life that is full of darkness.
I'm afraid that I will come back "home" and my baby (Luke, my dog) will no longer be alive.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to get on here as much (if at all) during the summer,
but I'll be praying for everyone and asking if you could do the same:

-For open hearts to the other staff and campers
-That I would completely surrender my heart to God
-That I find/learn more about God than I could ever imagine
-That the campers hearts are open to listening to the LOVE God has for them
-For a safe trip over there (and back)
-That my eyes are completely set on God, nothing else.

Hopefully there will be a million and a half stories when I get back, and someone to share them with
The mountains are waiting........

Gossip

Thu, 22 May 2008 16:23:09 GMT

I wish the love that God has for us could spread as quickly as gossip does.
Seriously, when it's about gossip, even if something is true.....it doesn't matter how far away people are from each other, they will find out.

But could you imagine if it really was about God's love instead of random details of someone's life....
That would be incredible.
People begging to hear about the Good News.
Passing it on from person to person.
People finding out about it, even if they are miles apart.
That would be wonderful.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wed, 21 May 2008 20:44:34 GMT

Just because those you pray for
don't change on the outside,
doesn't mean God isn't working
on them inside

So over spring break, I found this quote and found it really encouraging for certain situations at the time.
Now, it's being put to use for a whole different situation.
I'm not going to go into all of the details but my heart just breaks because I can see where things can lead,
and they lead there fast.

I know that anything I do, really means nothing if God doesn't have a part in it.
I going to continue to pray for a change, and trust that God is working.

Other than that, I have been absolutely blessed with the people I've been surrounded with these past few days.
Going to see old friends, and how perfectly similar we are.
Hanging out with new friends, the beauty of new relationships.
And hanging out with people who will always be there for you, no matter how stubborn I am.

So last night, we totally snuck into the football stadium.
We had to climb like 4 fences (and I had never climbed fences before!)
But once we got on to the field, it was awesome.
We ran the length of the field, and I was able to just lie down, right in the field and look up at the moon and starts.
Unbelievable, God's beauty.
Thankfully, we didn't get caught, and although a bit bruised from scaling the fence, it was a great time.

Setting goals

Sat, 17 May 2008 17:08:55 GMT

So when I go for runs on my own, I always set a goal.
You know the kind that where you go that far, and then turn around.
You set it to push yourself, to see how far you can go.
It motivates you.
You feel a sense of accomplishment when you reach that goal.
Like the run was worth something.

Well I brought this to my everyday life, outside of running,
And I couldn't think of a better goal in my life than to be like Christ.
I know, lofty goal, but is there any greater goal?
To imitate God in my own life,
it's not because I want anything for my life,
I just want to be able to glorify God to the fullest.
Now, I know that I will never fully reach that goal,
no one can be God, except God Himself,
But I'm going to try my best to know Him and mirror His heart to mine.
Nothing else matters.

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead
-Philippians 3:8-1

Know Him

Fri, 16 May 2008 13:02:12 GMT

There's such a sense of comfort when you are satisfied with God and how He is working in your life.
I've never been so certain about specific things,
and the things that I should be worrying about, I know that God will take care of.
We've got our own security blanket that's holding us in His arms!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
-2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Yeah, I've had my times of trouble, and I'm sure there are more to come,
But I really just want to be able to show others how absolute amazing it feels to know Christ!
I'm not the best with words, and I don't have all the answers,
But this feeling, leaves me full of Life, in a world filled with death.
I'm not sure how to show others this, but maybe that's the point,
God will work His way, and only His way.

Surprises

Thu, 15 May 2008 09:14:27 GMT

What is it about surprises that are so alluring?
I remember when I was a little kid, at Christmas time I found out where my presents were.
I wanted so badly to know what I got, so I looked.
But come Christmas Day, that feeling of being surprised was distant at best.
That feeling of pure joy and wonder is gone before you even had to chance to feel it.
And then when someone tells you they have a secret and won't tell you.....man, that sucks!
You try and get hints out in anyway possible, without trying to make it look like you're getting hints.
You know you don't want to know, but the curiosity eats you up inside.
It's like reading a book.
You can easily read the ending,
But then the story is wasted on something you already know.
There's no longer any excitement.
So, is the wait worth it?
I think so.
That feeling of shock, in front of those who wanted to surprise you.
It's more than just the feeling you get, it's the feeling others get when you are surprised.
It's worth it.
Even if you do have to wait! :)

Nothing/Everything

Wed, 14 May 2008 12:49:42 GMT

There are just some of those times where you know you had nothing to do with certain things in your life.
Okay so I'm going to Colorado soon to work at a Christian camp for 10 weeks.
It's part of a Campus Crusade for Christ summer project, and I have to raise money to go.
Well I've been sending out letters like no other and have already made like $2100 out of the $2900 I need.
Well just sort of randomly, I sent letters out to two of my ex-boyfriends.
Wasn't really expecting anything, I mean I was the one that broke up with both of them, and one of them I didn't really treat all that well, but I thought I might as well give it a shot.
Come to find out both are sending me money!
WHAT!?!?! Seriously that's just crazy.
Neither of them have a relationship with Christ, yet God is still moving in them.
Which led me to this: Nothing I do is worth anything if it's not for God.
Obviously nothing that I have done has led either one of them to send money to me,
so all of this has had to come from God. Which is so amazing!
God is worth everything that I do in my life, and more.

I long for the water
That brings life to me
'cause I long for the truth, oh
That sets man free

I am nothing without You

Love

Tue, 13 May 2008 15:54:36 GMT

I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind

Love.
Yeah, that's the word that's been running through my head the past couple days.
Hey, at least it's a good word! :)
Love is a funny thing.
Sometimes it's just so easy to love someone,
and sometimes it takes all of your strength to love someone.
Love can make you fight for someone's heart,
or give them up because you know that they need more time to grow.

It's amazing how much you can truly love someone.
I wish some of my friends would realize that I would lay down my life for them.
If that's what it took, yes, I would do that.
Agape love.

I never was able to truly love until I had God in my life.
Yeah, I loved, but it was nowhere near the intensity in which I love now.
And I would have NEVER thought that I could love certain people that I have learned to love.
The fact that God could love me, someone who used to question His power,
and who only thought about herself......He loved me.
Loved me so much that she sent His Son to die for everything I was about.
Every bit of pride/apathy/greed, those are what pierced His Son on the cross.
That is love.

So that love that I feel for my family (blood and spirit),
That love is not from me, it can't be.
It's not possible that I can love that much.
But it does prove that God lives in me.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
-1 John 4:10

Risk

Mon, 12 May 2008 00:06:35 GMT

Have you ever had someone that would do anything just to be with you.
Well, let me tell you about my dog, Luke.
Now before you completely burst into laughter, hear me out.
We got Luke when he was just a little puppy.
When he was just a baby, he broke his leg (think of a little puppy with a big cast, pathetic but adorable)
Thankfully he healed near perfectly.
Growing up, I would run around with him, play with him, and take care of him,
He was my dog.
Even when my parents divorced and I lived 2 hours away,
whenever I got back, he'd run up onto my bed and we would play for hours.
He never forgot about me.
I went off to college, and every time I'd come home, he'd be there, on my bed.
He was there when I went to bed, and was right there when I woke up.
Well, this month, Luke is 17 years old.
Now if any of you know dogs, that's pretty old.
Well, his legs are weak, and all the brown fur (and some of his black) has turned white.
But he's still my baby.
And the most amazing thing is, every once and a while, when he has the energy,
He'll try and make a running jump onto my bed.
See, I have a BIG BED at home......seriously, it's tall.
It goes up to about where my hips are (I'm 5'8").
Sometimes he makes it, sometimes he doesn't.
About 10 mins ago he tried and didn't quite make it.
He got half up, but couldn't pull himself up the rest (and I wasn't quick enough to push him up).
He could have very easily hurt himself.
Well, he risked himself getting hurt, again, and is now laying on my bed with me
(after about a 5 min straight lick-Katy session).
He'll do whatever it takes to be with me, even if it takes risking himself.

That made me think:
Would we do the same for God.
Just to be with Him, would we risk our lives?
Just to be in His presence?
Is He worth it to you?
Is He worth risking your health? Friendships?
How about family members?

See, God sacrificed His only Son for us.
I think that God is worth so much more than this life He has given me.
Am I willing to risk everything I am to follow Him,
Honestly, no.
But I'm getting there...
God has really shown me how much I don't belong here.
I long to be with Him, but I know that He has a purpose for me here.
One by one, I'm giving up parts of me to Him;
Relationships, trust, emotions, pride.
He continually works on me, changing me constantly,
To make me into His creation.
Just wait until the end of the summer....
If He's been working in me this past week,
I can't wait to see what He has in store for me in Colorado!

But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise You more and more.
My mouth will tell of Your righteousness,
of Your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim Your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;
I will proclaim Your righteousness, Yours alone.
-Psalm 71: 14-16

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sun, 11 May 2008 12:10:04 GMT

Seriously, God is absolutely incredible!
Last night I was in the process of writing about how I desperately needed fellowship while at home, and was missing it.
It's hard to be home and have none of my family here with me.
About halfway through writing, not even halfway, one of my girls IM's me.
Then no more than 2 minutes later, one of the guys IM's me.
Absolutely Perfect, God is so perfect!
So I'm talking to both online,
listening and encouraging and sharing how amazing God's been to me these past couple weeks,
and I end up calling the girl.
Mind you, I hate talking on the phone!
It's awkward and I don't really like talking in the first place.
But I was on the phone for more than an HOUR!!!
Mostly it was just me listening, but that's how I like it, I love listening.
She was really able to open up to me and I was able to encourage/listen to her.
So after that I felt a lot better.
God's really had my back through everything, protecting me and my heart at all times.
And, just to top things off, I went to church with one of my friends from school and her family,
and was blessed with a wonderful surprise! :)
Walking up to the row where they were all sitting and the first thing I notice was Lis' brown jacket.
Shocked, because;
1) she said that she had to spend time with family and
2) she was going to church with her family
:) God is so awesome

Have a wonderful day to all and Happy Mother's Day!