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| Well... Life is pretty much messed up right now. I do not know what to do anymore. I have lost everything I have ever cared about. Yet I have reached a point in my life where i feel as if i have reached the point of no return. I accept how my life is for it was my choice. However, I have learned a lot and as of this very moment I shall change. Things have been put into a different light for me. I no longer see things the way i used to. I am no longer blind. I swear to it that i shall perservier through these times. For everyone who doesn't know, I was kicked out of my house and curaintly live with a friend of mine. I had a great job and was that was terminated just like everything else that seemed to be going in a possitive way for me. I curaintly have a job bartending and waiting tables to earn enough money to go back to school. Which I swear will happen | | |
|  | Currently Watching
A Clockwork Orange
By Malcolm McDowell, Patrick Magee, Michael Bates, Warren Clarke, John Clive, Adrienne Corri, Carl Duering, Paul Farrell, Clive Francis, Michael Gover, Miriam Karlin, James Marcus (II), Aubrey Morris, Godfrey Quigley, Sheila Raynor, Madge Ryan, John Savident, Anthony Sharp, Philip Stone, Pauline Taylor
see related |
Wow... So its been a while since ive updated this piece of shit thing called my xanga. Ok, anywho a lot of things has been happening like, that suck a whole bunch. But I do what I gotta do. Me and a friend of mine are designing and writing an Anime manga. Thats kinda cool, dorky but cool. I think its going to be cool. Im about to start being an art teachers assistant which is cool. I have a lot of things im thinking about and have questions about, but dont feel like depressing everybody, lol. Life is hard no-a-days. All i can do is to continue going, cuz nothing is there to gain by recieding backwards. | | |
| Computer name:
<insert you're name here + imad ork following you're name but saying it 5x fast>
Drive: C:/
Time
<insert any time, preferably this one, or the one that "changed your life", either or works, cauz frankly we don't care.>
Status on Matthew E. Briner's xanga site: UPDATED! | | |
| Ok, well, I don't really think that people ever read my xanga; however, I'll feel better about myself if I post a new entry. Things are going quite well here in Huntsville. My older brother called me tonight which made my day because I think he is the coolest person in the world...lol. He lives in Alabama, so I never get to see him, and I hardly ever talk to him, but ya, it was good to hear from him.
Anyway, I have been having those stupid thoughts in my head about some things that I should just get over. I hate thinking about these things, but I can't help myself. See, when there is something on your mind that you had loved in the past, and now it's gone, you can't help but think about it. I wish that the mistakes I made in any area of life were able to be taken back. Seconds, minutes, and even hours of life that I wasted, I wish I could live again. But then I would be a different person than I am today. The decisions you make define you. What you choose to do for any specific thing, molds you and forms you into what you will later become. So if I look at it in that perspective, I feel better, but only for a moment. I have so many regrets, which I hear is a bad thing. But what if having regrets actually makes your reality more real. It shows you what you love and what you hate, instead of always nay-saying my beliefs. If i regret a decision I made, shouldn't that tell me that the decision I made was against what I truly believed and loved? If so, I'm in love. | | |
| [ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ x] I have many scars.
[ X] I tan easily.
[ x ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[] I wear glasses.
[] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than 2 piercings
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears
[ ] I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
[not at them, but one time i swore infront of my mom ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[almost ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[X] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
School/Work
[x] I'm in school
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[x ] I failed more than 1 class last year...
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired.
[ ] I've skipped school.
Embarrasment
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[] Disney movies still make me cry.
[] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x ] I've glued my hand to something
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x ] I've had my pants rip in public
Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ x] I've gotten stitches.
[ x] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
Traveling
[] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ x]I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[] I've kicked a guy where it hurts...
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x-i lost] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet..
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[ ] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.
Relationships
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[x] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[x-sorry] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[ ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I liked them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't like them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[ x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] ive hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[xxxxx] I've run a red light
[x] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted.
Drugs/Alcohol - SOME OF THIS WAS A LONG TIME AGO IN MY "BAD PHASE"
[ ?] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ?] I regularly drink.
[ ?] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ?] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ?] I've smoked weed
[ ?] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[?] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I take Nyquil just to sleep.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[ x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying.
Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[x ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ x] I own something from Abercrombie.
[x] I own something from American Eagle.
Political/Social Attitudes
[ ] In general, I don't like people.
[ ] I'm a feminist.
[x] I'm outgoing.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I'm a Democratic.
[x ] I'm a Republican.
[ ] I'm liberal.
[ x] I'm religious.
[x] I dress fairly modestly.
[x] My attitude is, "If you've got it, flaunt it."
Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[x] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[x ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[x] I bake well.
[x ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart
[x] I know how to shoot a gun
[ x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x ] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate
[x] bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest | | |
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