AHHAH! hehe survey CONTINUED BUM BUM BUM

[x] friends that you look like: ... i dont think so
[x] who you go to for advice the most: ummmm depends i suppose
[x] should talk to more: People i dont talk to enough? hehe
[x] changed your life the most: hmm

favorites
[x] color: hmm green red orange black white or purple... hmm hehe
[x] movie: I like lots of them
[x] subject: of course my favorite subject would be art if not for mrs. jenson or history if iwere takeing it and had a decent teacher =P
[x] ocean or pool: ocean doy pools are jsut dirty
[x] love or lust: love
[x] silver or gold: silver
[x] diamonds or pearls: diamonds
[x] sunset or sunrise: hmm im not sure sunrises i think but then again... sunsets i guess i like them both
[x] showers or baths: i dont really take baths and as relaxing as tjhey are i feel really dirty when i get up out of a bath, so im saying shower
[x] food: i like mostely anything but right now almod jello sounds realllly yummy
[x] snack: fruits! im a fruity!
[x] all-time song: hmm drops of jupiter or wait no!... wait yes... i dont know but i really like them words
[x] current song: dont have one
[x] movie star: that guy that was in that movie i saw taht was really good
[x] magazine: i dont have one?
[x] tv show: will & grace, that 70's show and family guy
[x] drink: mango soda
[x] activity: hmm im not very active
[x] fruit: crunchy banana easy to peel oranges grapefruit and mango!
[x] juice: APPLE! doy

do i..?
[x] do you like school: sometimes
[x] do you like to talk on the phone: eh not really but it depends who with
[x] do you have your own phone line: ahahahahhaha
[x] do you like to dance: AHAHAHAHA i CANT dance

last time i...
[x] went runnin: um a very very VERY long timeago
[x] worked out: ahaha how about never? ever wonder how i stay so fat and thin =]
[x] danced like a frickin idiot: never? didnt i tell you? i dont dance!
[x] went to a movie: today it was gross you saw a really old guys balls
[x] talked on the phone: ummmm last sunday
[x] were depressed: hm it happens on a daily basis, nto stupifd depressed like im gonna kill myself and stuff just yea... hehe
[x] Where would you love to travel to?: omg EVERYWHERE england ireland italy france switzerland china japan taiwan tailand new york EUROPE IN GENERAL!,
[x] whats ur middle name?: rae
[x] is ur hair color natural?: yes...
[x] do u have a cell phone?: ehehehehehe
[x] whats ur online screen name: po0pernickle!
[x] what do u want to do with your life?: i want to... do something amazing for the world whithout anyone knowing it
[x] last time u went to the doctor: last summer
[x] do u have a credit card: BWAHAHAHAHA
[x] do u consider urself a "nice" person: no
[x] are u stressed out?: somewhat
[x] have u seen the exorcist?: no
[x] how bout dumb & dumber?: yep
[x] ever been skydiving?: nope
[x] number of piercings: none!

are you..?
[x] rebellious: i dont really think so
[x] sweet: no =/
x] cute: no
[x] attractive: no =]
[x] smart: no
[x] outgoing: NO heh these nos are gettings somewhat depressing
[x] shy: mostely then... mostely not
[x] popular: good god no! (thank god no!)
[x] funny: when i dont mean to be
[x] deep: hahaha what do you mean DEEP
[x] stubborn: yes
[x] bitchy: hehe yes =]
[x] secretive: arent we all?
[x] moody: yea
[x] lazy: hehe yes
[x] ignorant: of course we all are!
[x] crazy: some people think so... but i dont really think im CRAZY
[x] clueless: i can be
[x] flirtatious: ahahhahaha
[x] lovable: no
[x] friendly: i dont know

do you...?
[x] play an instrument: i sadly do not
[x] believe in life on other planets: mmhm
[x] have gay/lesbian friends: yes i also have straight ones
[x] believe in miracles: no.. but then again maybe
[x] like the taste of alcohol: no not really
[x] go to church: my mommy used to take us to pretty churches but no i dont go regularly, or recently
[x] have any secrets: of coruse i do
[x] go to college: no...
[x] wear hats: hmm on occasion
[x] wish on stars: evenr single chance i get
[x] believe in ghosts: yes
[x] like sarcasm: hehe yes
[x] take walks in the rain: um HELLO? when it rains im in it =] mwell i guess i dont really walk in the rain i stand and skip and run and prance. hehe but i occasionaly walk
[x] sing in the shower: sometimes when theres a song tapes to the outside of the shower theres really nothing else to do but read and sing!

yes well thats the end of that bordem now im off to study.. i know shocking isnt it?

hmm well incredibly bored nothing significant enough to write about lately, except for my unexplainable mood swings, could be the horribly good weatehr we're haveing so when in doubt what do i do? why fill in an questionare! so without further adeu!

[x] name: Justine
[x] birthplace: Berkeley, ca
[x] home now: orinda, ca
[x] height: 5 ? 5' 1"? short? 
[x] siblings: me brother
[x] eye color: brown

[x] hair color: black, or dark brown if you prefer me to say so
[x] best feature: ...right o myyyy umm no idea?

[x] artistic?: wish i could be

[x] first crush: preeschool =] ugo? hugo?.. i dont even remember his name =\ but he was kinda creepy

[x] boyfriend/girlfriend now: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....HAHAHAHA...HA
[x] color of your room: white
[x] hobbies: hmm sleeping =] and ofcourse i like most forms of art oo and reading
[x] what were u doing 15 mins ago: reading
[x] u smoke: ew no
[x] u drink: ewer no!
[x] u shy or outgoing: hmm when im around people i dont know at all im inbetween when im with my friends im usualt outgoing but when im with people ive met before but dont know very much im usualy shy
[x] sleep with stuffed animals: hehe yes! eyore!... yes im a loser, ieven took my stuffed animal to go get take out the other day, what can i say? im very attached to cute soft huggy things
[x] what do you want from a partner?: not very much
[x] feature you notice first: teeth.. hehe wierd
[x] have a dream that keeps coming back: lots of different ones it depends what mood im in when i fall asleep
[x] looks/personality: personality
[x] piercings: in others? nope
[x] tan or fair: neither?
[x] like flirts?: no, not really
[x] would you ever date a friend: um i would ONLY date a friend
[x] punk or prep: neither again?
[x] older/younger: dosent really matter
[x] age difference limit: well in the case of true love there would be no limit would there?
[x] smart/dumb: smart...i hate to confess this cause it makes me feel horrible but i cant stand talking to someone who, i dont know has  a very low intellegence level, im not saying like someone like not academicalt smart but they ahve to be at least average in some way of intellegence or i go crazy talking to them... i feel bad now
[x] funny/serious: both i wouldnt want someone who was always serious or always funny

relationships
[x] do u have a LIKER?: ahahah.. HAHAHAHA!
[x] what is their name?: there name is..  =\
[x] how long is ur longest relationship?: eh 6 months? 7 ?8? who knows too long
[x] what is the best present u've gotten from sumone? when i was 5 my mommy gave me a velvet heart and said that she was giving me part of her heart so taht whenever she wasnt around and i really mised her i could talk to it and she would be ther... i used to talk to it alot but then i got really mad at her one day and i through it away... i really regret that, but i was living in the past too much. but anywho i love presents like that where ti has a greater meaning then it seems and or its from the heart =]
[x] what one quality do u like best in the opposite sex: do you mean what one quality id LIKE to see most or as a whole what the best quality the opposite sex has? the latters too difficult to answer so i mostley like it when they're easy to talk to? i hate akward silences!
[x] ever been in love?: no
[x] best friend(s):no =\

to be continued

My life has hit an all time low. Just thinking about it makes me realise how pathetic my existance really is and the extent of how utterly stupid my life is. I thought in my mind somewhere i really cared, but I really don't I don't want a diary or a jornal, but i do want to but my thoughts somewhere but I don't care to have them read. The people I know are really, to make a long stroy short, not worth my time. Miramonte, is not worth my time. Its full of people who are the same, sure they look different and seem different but you get to know them and theyre all the same stuck up people inside. Well not all, that would be wrong to say every single kid at miramonte is like that but almost all are, theres maybe a handful that would actualy make decent friends and well there the kind of people who wouldnt want to talk to a fucked up person like me. my mind is so messed up. im not crazy or anything, im just mean and i hate it and my mind wants to do the opposite of what i do but im incapable. its like two different people havetaken over my mind and body. then when i do act decently my mind is filled with the most disgustily mean thoughts. People here arent worth my time, but in all honesty im really not worth theres either.

You know what I hate? I hate being a failuer. Just take a look at me and everything about me screams it. I'm not naturaly intelligent i dont try and i just get so MEAN. the way i stand the way i act and talk, how i present myself. i hate it all. i want to wipe my mind clean and start a whole new person.pretty stupid thing to want i have to admite. it just shows the next side of my failuer! my incapability to cope with my problems, I'm too much of a dreamer.