I have reached my breaking point.

Most of you won't know what the fuck I'm talking about. This is mostly because I have put up a huge wall and I don't dare allow anyone in.

I used to be a really amazing writer. And a really amazing artist. And I was able to put my thoughts into words that would touch people, and help them understand who I really am. But I am not the same person anymore.

Two of my dear friends had to witness something I never wanted exposed.

And I am sorry.

The person you see everyday, is someone I have learned to love in the past few years. I love myself. Those are the moments I feel alive. And that to me is refreshing, because I am a dead person, in all fucking honesty. And I am not looking for sympathy.

I am not looking for your God. And I'm not looking for a new friendship, because I am more then happy with the ones I have now. I am not looking for that moment when I make it big, and everyone knows my name. Because I don't want you to think that that is all I am. It's not. I am not looking for that money that will buy me a house and a nice car. And I am not looking for that someone who will, someday, complete me.

I am looking for something that means so much more. What this is, I do not know.

I don't know why the hell I keep this piece of shit. When every meaningful thought of mine goes into a private journal. With this, I am saying a final farewell to xanga and my buddy list. I will block all, if not most. Keeping the few that truly know the person I am. Or have learned recently.

I already know the beginning to this story, and with every inhale I take, I know the ending.

But what's in between all of this?

I will find out.

My name is Karlie Elizabeth Lynn Sauer, and I am damaged. I am ruined and I am broken.

But I am strong.

There no longer is a wall.

No longer is there something you can break down.