| It's been awhile...
lots has happened.
too much to get into.
sometimes i wonder if i made the right decisions.
sometimes i wonder if i got in over my head.
oh well. we'll see. we'll see.
it's all good.
*there'ssomuchimissaboutwhoiusedtobe* |
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| so stupid.
*sofuckingstupid* |
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|
i'll give you your space now.
and hopefully it'll be okay later.
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| i may have lost a lot last night.
but that is what i have to deal with.
that is what i
have to figure out on my own.
i fully understand that
you may not come back to this.
i recognize the fact that
this is all me.
i made this decision.
and i will live up to that.
you sit there and
make me believe that you
don't want this when
we know full well that
you did.
i finally verbalize it i
finally verbalize my
want my needs
and you are 100%
in the other direction.
like you never wanted it.
like you never wanted me.
but you think that this'll
blow over
that you have some
magical power over me.
i let people run over me
because i care about them
but once i am hurt and
truly taken advantage of
that is when i say
enough is enough.
and i've had enough.
there is no reason
no reason at all that
i should put up with this shit.
why should i hang around so
you can make out with
other people
hook up with other people
"connect" with other people
when i know full well that
i'm just gonna sit here
and wait for you?
and i know
KNOW
that if you start getting close
to anyone that is closer
distance-wise
you will begin to rely on them
begin to see them often
begin to get cozy and comfy
and next thing you know
i'm out.
again.
yes, again.
so why should i wait around for that?
why should i be more than a friend
but not worth dating, lover, or
girlfriend status?
you have no commitment to me.
because as soon as things
go wrong it'll be
"but we aren't together"
and as soon as you get what you want
"but we were together, you know"
i can't deal with that shit anymore.
either we are, or we aren't.
no more middle ground.
i wasn't ready until now.
i wasn't sure until now.
you were ready.
there was a moment when
you were ready.
and i bet anything that if i
had been able to turn around
that day
you would have been mine.
and i yours.
and you would have
NEVER second guessed it.
i have the texts to prove it.
so, if that isn't true
then sometime, somewhere
you have lied.
and we all know what
that gets you here.
nothing.
i have needs.
i have desires.
they need to be met, too.
it isn't all
you, you, you.
and what you can get from me.
i am trying to compromise
because at this point i
don't know that i want to
be your friend.
you want middle ground.
i want relationship or friendship.
if you stick to your guns,
i'm out.
no friendship no matter what i promised.
friendship is what i got for you
since you are no longer ready
for what we could be.
i swear
one of these days
i'll be enough.
i will, i'm sure.
*butyoujustmaybeadaytoolate* |
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is there anyone else who is tired of hearing this:
"i dont love myself enough to love someone else."
but the kicker is they spend all their time
before this moment
saying how they want you and
only you
that you are the one
right now
and nothing can change that
right now.
i'm bitter.
*fuckthisshit* |
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