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Sunday, July 13, 2008

  • Sometimes, you need to live for yourself a bit!

    That's what my flatmate told me 4 days ago when we went out for a couple of beers with my empty stomach.

    And that's what my close friend in Hungaria told me when we chatted 2 days ago in the middle of the night.

    Something must be very wrong with me. I didn't make any excuses... You may wonder why.

    I was found to be weak whenever I fall in love with someone (or I think I fall in love with someone). It was proven that I could do everything fo that guy without thinking twice. I ended up hurting myself or just feeling uphappy for a long while.

    "Think back a little, you were so happy and perky when you were single. How about your feeling now?"

    "Uhm"

    "Say it!"

    "A bit unsured, a bit worried and a bit unhappy"

    "So you're unhappy lah"

    And I wondered why my flatmate said so...

    "Dump him, you have no excuse to cling on him (plus he's not here for you to cling on). You have no reason to indulge him with the idea that you will stay alone not thinking of other guys out there while you have no idea who he hangs out with (not to say he betrays you but who knows?)"

    Does that make any sense?

    Mom asked me this

    "Which type of men do you like?"

    "Mature and able to understand and share with me"

    "You know what? Men can share with you but they never understand you."

    "Hmn?"

    Something must be very wrong with me, again. I am unhappy about the relationship I am in. The distance is one thing but my joy about a lot of things has been flushed out by him. Sharing about the job is regarded "complaining". Informing about the week events is considered "Being negative". Asking for the info shared from the other end is meant to be "demanding". Uhm... Was I understood?

    You guess!

    Now the relationship is on the verge of breaking as we couldn't find the same way to walk and talk anymore. All the hope once put up with smiles has now been pulled down with a long sigh.

    I kept quiet.

    "He has something to work on his attitude, dear. I can't find myself to respect him. And from the beginning, I couldn't understand why you liked him that much"

    Or was I day-dreaming?

    "He needs to prioritize his wants and wills, whether he wants to accept you with your not-so-moral past, or if he just wants to take revenge on you to satisfy his egoistic nature."

    "Hey, that was a bit harsh"

    "But it's true. How could he not recognize you've been trying hard to be with him?"

    "The distance"

    "Excuses"

    I don't know what else I could speak of. I think I was overloaded and didn't know what I could believe in. Is it a test of faith or just a matrix game that I accidentally fell into?

    Now I have 2 choices:

    1. Hanging on there and torturing myself until I feel so dry and exhausted, not knowing what's gonna happen.

    2. Quitting to focus on something else more cheerful out there (God knows what).

    Which one is more negative?

    I want to have somebody who is willing to pamper me, understand me and share with me. Somebody who doesn't mind my tummy and stubborn head (this could be a BIG issue)... et et etc....

    I suddenly crave for ice-cream. Such a comforting food!

    Instead I had newly bought yoghurt in the fridge.

    So my dinner formula = 1 apple + fried scrambled egg + instant noodle + 1 Coke + 1 yoghurt.

    I have to do something. Something new. In the end, tomorrow is the start for another long and crazy week.

    Quit or not quit?

    Unanswerable question.

    For now.

     

Saturday, July 12, 2008

  • Bad day

    I had a plan of visiting my colleague’s place with a lush green garden and lots of fruit trees. My handsome flatmate is sick so he couldn’t bear travelling a long distance to enjoy the garden view with me. And when I woke up, I got a call from my friend.

     

    T: You woke up?

    Me: Yeah, wassup?

    T: Go and get your bike. Ask your flatmate to come along.

    Me: Really?

    T: Sure, see you there.

     

    I quickly reset my plan for today as I need to get my bike, which had been quarantined by the cops for a week. To be more exact, that was not my bike. My flatmate’s bike almost broke down due to its own age and overdue usage, so he decided to buy a new scooter. He’s not a local so I stood out to be the scooter owner on paper and he paid for it. We were on the way to get our scooter’s plate number and the cops stopped us. What a conflict system! Anyway, we have fought on and on against the cops but in the end, we were the ones who lost out. Well, the cops are the law. We will be losing out if we keep going against them even if they’re totally wrong. So, we still have to close our eyes and bribed them. No choice, I don’t want the scooter suddenly went missing in the parking lots, which happened commonly over here. After 10 days sleeping and eating on fire, we finally can get it out, TODAY!

     

    I asked my flatmate to get ready to accompany me to see the cops. Poor guy is sick and couldn’t talk properly as his voice just wandered somewhere else. We got to the cop station and spend more than 4 hours just to get the scooter out safely and soundly. You can imagine how horribly we were tortured. And do you still want to listen to my painful story, by the way?

     

    Let’s skip it! The scooter is safe in my parents’ house now. I couldn’t go to my colleague’s place in the end and felt kinda sad. My flatmate didn’t get any better with his flu and I was praying he wouldn’t pass it on to me. We went out for ice-cream later on but my flatmate, instead, suit himself with a cup of hot cocoa. Still, he didn’t get any better and I just forced him to rest after watching an interesting movie at home.

     

    My plan of re-visiting Malaysia has gone down to the drain (again). Reason? Bad timing, of course. Sigh… Now my aim is the States in winter and I’m going to stay with Karen, my colleague (she’s from San Francisco) and will go skiing, wooohooo! I’d better save money from now for my ticket and skiing lesson. Hmn… Exciting!!!

     

    My stomach feels so weird now. Perhaps 5 scoops of ice-cream created some special effects for my internal organs. *burps*….. ewww! Excuse me…. And I think it’s time for me to visit my bed.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

  • Here comes the wedding season!

    And I am not kidding, I am getting sick by hearing about weddings.

    A lot of my friends are preparing for their fabulous Big Day some time within this year or early next year. All the Misses will become Mrs-es extremely soon.

    Mom called me this morning at 6am just to force me to attend my younger cousin's wedding during lunch time. She's only 22 years old (while I'm 25), studying in South Korea and fell in love with a post-graduate student who is ... 32 years old. Ten-year gap doesn't seem to be a big deal nowadays. My mom showed a bit of her age today by mistaking my wedding cousin's age with another older cousin who already had 2 kids. Hmn.... I thought my memory had something wrong. Instead, my mother's had.

    Having lunch with a guy friend today (I didn't go to the wedding in the end), he also commented that people nowadays have a trend of getting married at such an early age, men at around 26 and women at around 22. I noticed it, too. Why too early? I have the feeling everybody is rushing for marriage. Are you guys scared of the inflation!?!?!? It could be a reason, I guess.

    In my mind, there is no sign of a wedding plan to be found for now. I'm too busy working and enjoying my current life. Going to work and back alone and quite often dining with colleagues and friends already seem so good to me. I couldn't care any less.

    However, I need to prepare myself to listen to all the facts and talks about wedding because here it comes, the wedding season!

    I can't explain why but I know I need to hide!

     

Friday, June 27, 2008

  • Wow...

    I would take a deep breathe and exhale with a longest "Wowwww....!" ever!

    It's been a while since the last time I updated my blog. Xanga, as usual, sent me a very lovely message, something like "Welcome back! We thought you have forgotten about us, about your magical blog, for some reasons which we wouldn't want or bother to know...". Xanga, yes, I am back to you and to all my friends who already started cursing me for letting them so outdated for a long a time of keeping quiet like a snail.

    Yeah, I am back with so many things to write. And now comes to the biggest question of the day (or of the blog):

    What should I write now?!?!?

    *Frown my brows for a second*

    Okay, big news for those who hate me for letting them grow outdated: I've moved out successfully without much noise surely made by mom and dad.

    Raise your jaws up, darlings! Don't let your jaws drop!!!!

    Yeah I know. It's a big thing to say to you all. My flatmate is a Malaysian, isn't it wonderful? Oh wait, the more wonderful thing is this is a guy.

    Raise your jaws up, again, darlings! Don't let them drop (again)!!!!

    My life is more stable now after so many things happened. That's why now I have time to sit and squeeze my brain for what to write. It's been almost half a year since I joined HSBC Vietnam. It's such a wonderful place to work. It's such a wonderful job that I have ever had. It's such a..... Ok, some of you start nodding with sympathy "Yeah, we understand. It's just the first 6 months."

    But seriously, I've never felt like that before. I really enjoy my job. I really lovvvveeeee it!

    (Oh gosh, do I sound like a workaholic? Well, no surprise, I already am)

    My boyfriend is very worried now. That I'm much in love with my job, rather than with him.

    Talking about my boyfriend, he's good and we're still doing fine. However, we have a little bit of issue here. We're too busy with our jobs and studies and hardly find time to talk. Plus, the time difference really makes it difficult for us to converse over the super-connecting technology - internet. I miss his smile, his talk and his broad shoulders. I am very very very emotional right now! Too bad, he doesn't read (or doesn't want to read) my blog at all. So, I just silently wish that he could understand how I feel and what I think of all the times. Magic O magic, please work your way out!!!

    My nephew, oh yeah, let's talk about my nephew. FYI, my nephew is gonna celebrate his 2nd birthday at the end of July. Oh my gosh, let me tell you what happened this evening. I was just about finish my work of the day and my older brother called. He and his little family were in Phu Quoc Island for a short vacation. He asked if I wanted to talk to my little handsome nephew - "Tiny Dragon" (my nickname for him, a.k.a Gabbie). Now, this is the phony conversation between us.

    Me: Ohhhh Tiny Dragon, don't you just love the beach?

    Tiny Dragon: Tiny Dragon loves it. Tiny Dragon loves the beach.

    Me: Did you swim?

    Tiny Dragon: Tiny Dragon goes swimming.

    Me: Did you build the sand castle?

    Tiny Dragon: Yes, Tiny Dragon played with the sand.

    Me: And what else?

    Tiny Dragon: Tiny Dragon saw birds flying, flying.

    Me: Awwww.... You come back here. Do you want to go play with me?

    Tiny Dragon: Tiny Dragon miss you, auntie. Tiny Dragon want to go play with auntie.

    Me *wanted to cry already*: Come back! Come back! Tomorrow ok?

    Tiny Dragon: Do auntie miss Tiny Dragon?

    Me: Of course of course. Auntie miss Tiny Dragon, too. Auntie will talk to Tiny Dragon tomorrow ok?

    Tiny Dragon: Tiny Dragon miss auntie. Tiny Dragon say goodbye to auntie now....

    Me: Bye bye love! Tiny Dragon sleep well!

    I didn't fake even a single bit of this conversation. And I couldn't believe that my nephew has been able to converse with adults as the age of almost 2 years. He's a smart kid, I tell you, he really is a smart kid. I miss him very much. I think I'm gonna organize a little birthday for my nephew, with birthday cake and this time, he'll be able to blow the candles (2 in fact).

    *Looking at my clock*

    It said 1am. It also means that I have to go to grab some sleep now. I have "Kungfu panda" tomorrow and i don't wanna look like a panda, by the way.

    Kungfu Panda - the most expected movie of this summer!

    Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    Ok, go to sleep!

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LuVCatty

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