The Wichita Police

         Nothing personifies human and work related incompetance like the Wichita Police force. Here are some examples.

      Aviks and I went to the Darrel Starboard car show like two months ago. Their was a security guard by the door of the concession area. This guy was fucking ridiculous. He weighed upwards of 250 and had that sort of down syndrome type look on his face. This guy was like sixty years old too. Jonathan and I keep stealing glances at him and blatently laugh out loud each time.

   After awhile I got bored and wanted to mess with him. The door he was by was a garage type door that they used to bring in most of the cars. It was metal. I slammed my hand against it. The security guard made this hilarious grunting noise and looked over at me with his lazy eyes. I could not stop laughing, and even though I was right in front of him, I don't think he understood what I was laughing at.

   So lets look at what we have here. A security guard with a near retarded IQ was given a job. This man could not read because of his lazy eye so I am just wondering what his qualifications were for joing our police force.

Just curious thats all.

Star Wars

       Revenge of the Sith was one of the most anticipated movies of the summer for nerds and normal people everywhere. 

       I have seen this movie and so here is my review.

    We start off the movie with lots of explosions and loud noises, enough to keep the average normal American attention span. After this we get drug through about 20 minutes of clumsy dialogue.  The audience does not notice the poor acting because they are talking about the cool explosions in the previous scene. Their conversations were like this:

Fat Kid dressed like Darth Vader: Did you see that. (Stuffs candy in his mouth)

Fat Kid dressed like the Sith Lord: Yeah it was all like pshhhhhhhhhhhooo oosodjasdj (eats candy but can barely lift arms)

George Lucas really has shoved his penis in our mouth on this movie. Let me explain how we are all sucking his dick.

1. Hayden Christiansen (Anakin) was given a part. Lucas' must of lost a bet on that one cuz this kid can't act.

2. The names. Jesus the fucking names. That robots name was Grievous for gods sake. Okay, wow that IS smart. Take a word that means pain and suffering and make it the name of a robot that causes those words. Why don't you just call them Mr. Bad or something then eh?

3. Anakin joins the dark side after a 20 second contemplation. In the part where Samuel L. Jackson (HA!) is fighting the sith Lord, Anakin saves the sith and kills Samuel L. Jackson (HA!) He then pledges his allegiance to killing all the things he trained for all of his life to the Sith lord. This all happened in about 20 seconds. (The dialogue had to be brief to fit in more explosions.) Fucking ridiculous. So basically because Anakin had a dream, he decides to kill kids. This of course will allow him to save Padme who died in his dream. As we all know, dreams usually come to life. Stupid.

4. Anakin chokes Padme. After all of this movie, all the time we've spent here, Lucas shoots the plot down to a fiery death at the climax. When Padme comes to Anakin, Obie Wan is with her. The three are outside on the Lava Planet (HA!)  and Anakin becomes angry and begins strangling his wife.  (Of course he did this from 15 feet away and without actually using his hands because thats cool and all of us Americans can imagine how much easier it would be to get beers with that power.) Now I have talked to people about this and they said that he was on the dark side already. Okay fine, except when he first awakens in his Darth Vader suit he asks how Padme is.

5. Samuel L. Jackson is a Jedi.

                      This movie was kinda cool though. The explosions anyway. (they were all like pshhhhhhhhhhhooo oosodjasdj)