Currently Reading Ladder of Years By Anne Tyler see related

Update!

 Last night I told my husband that I’ve never been so consistently busy in my entire life!  Body busy – not mind busy.  I’m used to mind-busy, but this constant, physical body-busy – this is new!

1. I’m back at work.  I’m working mornings 7-1 (which means getting up at 5 so I can get on the highway by 6 and to work by 7 – damn suburbs).  Shockingly, I love being back at work.  It is just the right amount of time to get out of the house each morning.  And, it is the only time in my day where I get to sit and do quiet things.  Ah, sweet quiet.

2. Adrianna loves the babysitter!  When we get there in the morning, she is straining and peering over my shoulder to see her and then smiles and reaches for her and immediately waves goodbye to me.  OK.  My brain knows that this is very very good.  However, my heart sometimes says, “don’t get too excited to see me go!”  At least I don’t worry about her while I’m at work!

3. Speaking of Adrianna, oh my gosh, is she ever funny!  She is running everywhere now and imitating whatever we do.  She had a cold a week ago so we taught her to blow her nose.  Now, whenever she sees a kleenix she points and scrunches up her nose and blows.  She hunches up her shoulders and bobs her head and says “dad dad dad!” with a swearing tone when she’s mad.  She tries to bite my elbow when I change her diaper.  For not having very many words, she sure is good at getting her point across!  She just brings sooo much joy into our lives. 

4. I’m procrastinating planning Adrianna's first birthday.  Obviously it’s not going to be a big affair (too late for that now), so we’re looking at some carrot cake, some chocolate cake, some finger foods, some balloons and some relatives (and of course the adored babysitter). 

5. I’m 20 weeks pregnant.  Halfway there.  I can feel the baby moving and kicking.  It’s a boy.  One girl and one boy.  We may just stop at two.

6. Scott is off work.  He’s been off for almost 2 months now.  It’s a long story.  He didn’t plan or ask to be off but at least he is still getting full pay (minus the overtime that we also rely on… but, thus far, God has provided).  We now have no idea when he’ll get back to work.  Maybe in a week, maybe not until the summer.  This has been a big lesson in trusting God, taking one day at a time and letting go of control.  There’s nothing we can do about this situation and after going down the stressful worrying route, we’ve decided to just go with the flow and trust that God will work it out.  It’s certainly helpful having him home in the evenings and Adrianna is adoring all this extra time with daddy.

That's it for now.

ps.  I keep facebook way more up to date.  If anyone would like to be added to my facebook friends, send me a note and I'll send you my *real* info and we can be "friends".

Currently Reading East of Eden By John Steinbeck see related

Time

Today is a day when I feel like time is against me.  There is so much I want to do and learn and yet how can I possibly do it all?  (First, I guess I could turn off the TV and put away the internet...). 

I joined a gym.  A very nice gym (got a wicked sweet deal).  I want to go every single day.  I can't possibly do that.  I want to try every class, swim, take yoga/pilates, do weights and cardio.  Typical of me, I try to bite off way more than I could ever possibly chew and then get totally overwhelmed and decide to sit on the couch instead.  Bah.

I have a few cross-stitch projects half done.  I want to finish them all.  I have one for Adrianna that I was supposed to have done before she was born.  She's six months old.  I've done a teeny tiny bit of it.  Literally.  I was supposed to stamp her foot on it - now her foot is too big.  Maybe it will be for the next kid?

I desperately want to learn how to sew.  I'm researching sewing machines to buy.  There is a store nearby where I could take classes and finally learn.  I imagine myself making amazing quilts, baby clothes, dresses for Adrianna, flowy shirts for me.  I might buy the sewing machine but I doubt anything else would really get done.

I have all the supplies I need to make fancy schmancy Christmas ornaments (I plan to make a new kind every year and put aside one for Adrianna and any other future kids I have...).  I've made 2 little angels - 4 more to go to make a decent set.  They take about an hour to make and I spent a tonne of money on the supplies (this fact is still brought up during spousal meltdowns). 

And reading.  Oh how I love reading.  I have a bookshelf full of books that I want to read.  I have four novels out from the library.  Why I think I can read all four books in 3 weeks is mystery to me.  It took me six months to complete my last book. 

Then there is Adrianna.  I want the best for her.  I take her to play groups to help her socialize (does a 6 month old need to socialize?  I have no idea but she seems to enjoy watching all the commotion).  I don't really like play groups.  I'm not a big people person.  There are one or two other mothers there that I could possibly be friends with but the others irritate me.  Fancy yuppie suburbs with designer baby clothes and comparisons and blah blah.  I liked the mother who brought her son in a hand-me down sweat suit and she was wearing jeans and a tee-shirt with her hair in a ponytail.  But diva mom with designer baby and fancy toys - blah - no thanks.  I also am making all her baby food.  Well, I was trying to.  Now we're down to about half "real" home-made food and half jar food.  It decided it won't kill her.

Then there is writing and blogging.  I don't want my brain to turn to complete mush.  Writing here or in a journal is a great outlet - but it takes time and thought.

I want to go back to school and find a career.  I'm still trying to decide what to do when I grow up.  I'd love to be a nutritionist or social worker or study literature just for the hell of it (about as useful a degree as theology in my opinion), or massage therapy (but I wouldn't want to touch any creepy guys...), and the list goes on and on and on.

Oh, let's not forget housework (damn house) and meals and basic hygiene and laundry (good God - the amount of laundry three people create is astounding), and grocery shopping and spousal requirements for time and attention and interaction and well....

I'm so overwhelmed I need to just sit for a bit.

Currently Reading Lullabies for Little Criminals: A Novel (P.S.) By Heather O'neill see related

 So apparently I no longer update this blog.  I feel like I barely have time to sit, so blogging has taken a big backseat.  Oh, and facebook.... - I guess I've converted.

Adrianna is now 6 months old.  She is eating all kinds of food.  She has a tooth.  My sister taught her to walk.  Yes, walk.  She holds our fingers and motors wherever she wishes.  I'm wondering what happened to crawling?

I'm so out of blogging habit, I have no idea what to write.  My life consists of cleaning, cooking, pureeing various fruits and veggies, playgroups, shopping - not exactly exciting blogging material.  It took me 5 months to read a book.  I don't even have current pictures on my computer but here's some my sister took.

Mmmm... peas....

the aftermath...

mini blogger

playing

little turtle

missing auntie Lori. 

I wish Johnny Cash was alive to sing "Fix You" by Coldplay - I think he would do a better job.  But, since he's dead, these guys do a pretty good job.  You certainly get the sense that they've lived the lyrics - every one of them has had tears stream down their faces - anyone who hasn't shouldn't sing such a song.