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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| xx Remember me. xx
"An eating disorder is not usually a phase, and
it is not necessarily indicative of madness. It is quite maddening,
granted, not only for the loved ones of the eating disordered person,
but also for the person herself. It is, at the most basic level, a
bundle of contradictions: a desire for power that strips you of all
power. A gesture of strength that divests you of strength. A wish to
prove that you need nothing, that you have no human hungers, which
turns on itself and becomes a searing need for the hunger itself. It is
an attempt to find an identity, but ultimately it strips you of any
sense of yourself, save the sorry identity of "sick". It is a grotesque
mockery of cultural standards of beauty that ends up mocking no one
more than you. It is a protest against cultural stereotypes of women
that in the end makes you seem the weakest, the most needy and neurotic
of all women. It is the thing you believe is keeping you safe, alive,
contained - and in the end, of course, you find it is doing quite the
opposite. These contradictions begin to split a person in two. Body and
mind fall apart from each other, and it is in this fissure that an
eating disorder may flourish, in the silence that surrounds this
confusion that an eating disorder may fester and thrive."
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| I have a new baby bunny. =] =| =\We rescued him from the kitty (he tried to eat the bunny).
It looks like he only got him a little on his back leg.
I think the bunny is still kind of in shock.
I have him in a big cage in my room.
He likes to hide in the corner.
We fed him some bunny formula...he ate a LOT.
I'm glad he finally ate SOMETHING.
I want to keep him...but I know we shouldn't.
But he'd be a LOT SAFER inside.
I just hope he makes it through the night & is okay.
I named him Thumper....even though he's brown. ^_^;
::Edit::
Bunny went free the next day.
He way okay. I miss him. </3
I want my own bunny...
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| FUCK MY LIFE!Mother wants me to "get out of the hose or get a hobby".
Cause "it's not good for you to be in your room all day".
I HATE going out, I'm too fat.
I have major anxiety about being around a lot of people.
Plus I have no friends...like really.
Right now the only people I'd really like to be around are Danielle & Teddy.
Danielle's always working, & I have no way to get to Teddy.
Fuck my life.
I binged today too, of course.
What the fuck is wrong with me?!?!?!
EVERYTHING, that's what.
Maybe it really is time to get some help.
I don't know...I fucking hate doctors.
Kill me.
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| No eating today.
I SHOULD be going to k-rockathon, but I'm not because I have no one to go with. I'm just a loser with no friends I guess. Father is selling the tickets so at least I'll get money for something that cost us nothing.
I really need a job...I need something to do.
I want to get 2 pet rats, but I don't know if my dad will let me. =\
Still don't have my new phone...getting a little pissed.
Talking to Teddy more & more, I enjoy it. But he'd never date a fat ass like me.
Yesterday I binged all day long, it's getting ridiculous.
I'm working on a few new freewebs sites, so hopefully that will keep me busy & away from food.
Some day next week I have to go take my college placement test...gah, I hate having to go out. I'm too damn fat to leave this fucking house.
This has been an update on my boring as hell life, enjoy.
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| Binge. Binge. Binge.
Cut. Cut. Cut.
Puke. Puke. Puke.
Starve. Starve. Starve.
Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Things will get better.
I'll make them get better.
I'll get better.
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The Girl
»Likes:
Music, Reading, Walking her puppy dog, Photography, Photoshop, Pandas, Seeing bones, Losing weight, Her scale, Her Zune, Movies; especially horror, Getting flowers, Her kitty; Tigger, Web Design, Books, Shopping, Her plush pig; Mr. Moo, Being a vegetarian, Getting new piercings«
Tigger<3
Mr. Moo
»Hates:
Being fat, Stepping on a scale, Eating, People staring at her scars, Fake friends, Boring books, Being depressed, Being bipolar, When she cuts herself, Being alone, Spiders«
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Schedule
¤ OCC Placement Test [7/30]
¤ Trip to Camden [Aug.]
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