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M3gaL0maniac
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Name: Christian
Country: United States
State: Alabama
Birthday: 11/17/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: **NOTE: By reading this journal entry you are agreeing to full adhrerence to the terms of agreement/policy and procedures that are listed as a watermarked clause in the background of this xanga site. If you are unable to visibly read the clause please adjust your computer monitor settings accordingly. The writer of this journal takes full responsibility for each entry manufactured during business hours (M-F, 8-5). However, due to mass volumes of the writer's request for severe laziness, readers are not guaranteed a journal entry every business day. Journal entries that are posted after 5 p.m. may be currently in the process of posting for the following business day. If holiday situations do arise then readers are asked to remain patient during the three to four business days post-holiday that it takes for the writer to create another entry. Some journal entries may cause diziness, slight nausea, anger, rectal bleeding, and severe boredom. ***
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message me
AIM:  Midniteinkubuz
Member Since:
2/4/2004
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| 75 Things you MAY (dependant upon who you are) and MAY NOT know about me
1. I love Mandy Moore movies - her music, not so much
2. I have never owned an umbrella.
3. My nickname is "Pete"
4. My favorite shirt in the whole wide world is one I stole from my ex-boyfriend that says "Plumbers Lay Good Pipe."
5. I only liked the shirt because it was brushed cotton.
6. I used to collect Micro Machines and Pocket Monsters as a kid/teenager.
7. I wear shirts that are too short for me.
8. I make my own buttons.
9. I really like the look of cassette tapes unraveled on the side of the road.
10. I can still wear a pair of boxers that I have had since I was nine.
11. I am addicted to Nip/Tuck.
12. I really like the look of Rastafarian.
13. I still play with sidewalk chalk.
14. The furthest west I have been is Houston, Tx.
15. I want to have a degree in French.
16. I wear tube socks.
17. I love the smell of coffee.
18. I hate the taste of coffee.
19. At Waffle House, I order a triple order of
hashbrowns - double covered and double chunked with a
sweet tea ($5.14)
20. I am $1200 in credit card debt.
21. I want a Schnouser (sp?).
22. I love plucking my eyebrows.
23. I love grocery shopping.
24. I wish I was addicted to cigarettes (minus the cancer).
25. I love cutting really thick grass.
26. I haven't been depressed in almost a year.
27. I am in love with someone that doesn't know it/care.
28. I have not been on a date since November 2004.
29. I wear trunks (underwear).
30. I have not bought a pair of new shoes in years.
31. I hate long walks on the beach.
32. I work at the mall and have not bought anything in the mall for almost a year.
33. I wear a bottle opener around my neck.
34. I am 6'2 and 145 lbs.
35. My ringtone for people I don't know is "Push It" by Salt N Pepa.
36. I am scared to death of balloons.
37. My favorite Fair food is Chicken on a stick
38. My favorite Presidents are Clinton and Reagan.
39. My favorite day of the year is Halloween.
40. A GUILTY PLEASURE of mine is "Seniorita" by Justin Timberlake.
41. A GUILTY food PLEASURE of mine is Tomato & Basil Wheat Thins dipped in French Onion Dip.
42. I only buy Kraft Macaroni & Cheese SHAPED macaroni...I don't like the regular.
43. I only drink Pepsi from a bottle and only drink coke from a can.
44. I miss the "Surge" soft drink
45. I moved out of my house when I was 17.
46. I love Argyle bracelets.
47. Laying in wet grass is awesome.
48. My first concert was Stone Temple Pilots.
49. The first time I ever got drunk was off of Scotch and Vodka
50. I have almost died of alcohol poisoning twice (at least it felt like it)
51. I had to be carried off of Bourbon St. by a GIRL New Years 04
52. I loved the Care Bears as a kid.
53. I am the only person in the world who has seen/loved "Return to Oz."
54. I want to know more about Voodoo.
55. I am underpaid.
56. My first car was a 94 Black Nissan Maxima.
57. I suck at college.
58. I was Editor in Chief of my high school newspaper.
59. People hated me for #58.
60. If I could eat one thing the rest of my life, it would be California Rolls.
61. I don't use urinals.
62. My favorite band is No Doubt and I don't care who knows it.
63. Typical people piss me off.
64. I want a career in the media.
65. My favorite movie when I was 11 was "Last Action Hero."
66. I haven't had sex in 19 years.
67. My favorite animals are penguins.
68. I have never been to Disney World.
69. I STILL can't drink beer because it makes me throw up on contact.
70. I am allergic to Cotton Candy
71. I love hayrides.
72. If I could be any woman in the world, it would be Oprah Winfrey....minus the weirdness.
73. I use the word "sans-fabulous" too much.
74. I don't have time to hate people.
75. I dislike a majority of people that live here. | | |
| Is it just me or is Rush Limbaugh the biggest idiot I have ever heard in my whole entire life?
By
the way, I mention this because I had to drive my boss to a convention
today in his car, and he is addicted to idiots - Mr. Limbaugh and
Bush. He always has his radio tuned into 24/7 Talk Radio - Radio
for people who fuck their sisters. Anyway, so, when I
dropped him off, I went upon my merry way and farted like four
times in the car and
never cracked a window. I left all four of them in there to rot
the conservatism and close-mindedness from that hell hole - oh and also
to leave a smell. So that's it. That's all.
I just felt justified, uplifted - and a little less gassy. | | |
| I have found myself uttering this throughout the week post-Katrina. Now, I would delve into a horrifying entry about how I almost got hit by a tree; or how power was out for a excrutiating three days; or how getting gas took an AGONIZING four hours. But I am not going to be that petty. You want to know why, because it could have been a whole lot worse.
Sure, waiting four hours to pay $3.20 for a gallon sucks. Yeah, it sucks hard. But ya know what, there are people in New Orleans who would give their right leg just to sit in an Air Conditioned car for four hours waiting on anything. So, for the love of GOD....STOP YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BITCHING AND LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. Stop being selfish for one DAMNED minute and realize that...please.
But this is not a soapbox entry - Lucky for you (but if you are looking for one of those, you may want to visit someone else's pretentious blog). This entry is about how I have self-diagnosed myself with Lactose-Intolerance.
I have recently come to the realization that I am Lactose-Intolerant through a variety of experiments and deductive reasoning - Yes Mr. Bacon, I used your method, chill out.
This all came about when my roomate, Mary, had stated that she had a severe case of ...
(WARNING: GROTESQUE USE OF WORDS THAT ELUDE TO THE ACT OF ....well, TAKING A SHIT)
the taco shits. ..
So, we thought nothing of it, seeing as how we did in fact engage (hardcore) into a Cheesy Gordita Crunch or seven. So the next day I cooked a magnificent feast consisting of Spongebob Square Pants Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and some random chicken dish.
After the "Banquet de Dairy" Mary and I both found ourselves into TACO SHIT mode, only this time....there were no Tacos to be found. So therefore, through deductive reasoning my dear Watson, we realized that the tacos may not be the culprit at all, but (Input: Gasp) it may be the....CHEESE.
Cheese, once believed to give normal folk severe constipation, gives South Carlen Street residents a severe case of the Tac....the cheese shits. So, through some hit and miss experiments invovling 2ilk, we have decided that any product containing more than 2 cups of any dairy product will indeed make us light a match in the lavatory.
It could have been a whole lot worse.....
So this is going to be the last thing that I put on this...gross entry. Damn, it started out to be really soapboxy and clean and then it turned into a nasty mess.
Anyway, when it comes to my apartment I try to keep the "living areas" kind of clean in case a guest or Jesus happens to stop by - PS, if anyone sees him...let him know that I owe him one.
When I have guests that BYOB, because they most DEFINITELY BYOB due to my current financial situation, I peridoically clean up the miscellaneous empty bottles of Bud Light (For the classy bitches) and Natty Light (for the sans-classy bitches), but this one night was different. VERY DIFFERENT (Input: Kind of dramatic undertone, like in Law and Order)
I was doing the routine of cleaning up the various cans of Coca Cola around the coffee table when I stumbled upon a half-empty can of Coca Cola. Mary's Beau-hunk Jake was sitting there watching the news and I proceeded to ask him, "Is this yours?" "No," he replied. So I walked into the kitchen and put the Coke in the Frigidaire like a frugal housewife should.
Approximately five hours later, after a night of stoned tomfoolery, I returned to the humble abode parched like it was nobody's business. Mary, was watching the riveting collection of Family Guy DVDs in the living room. I dashed to kitchen to retrieve that half-empty coke which, after five hours of cooling, would be so refreshing at the moment. That bubbly-caramel taste sliding down the back of my throat like a waterfall of euphoria and endorphin-induced pleasure...which by first taste was similar to that, but something was in my mouth that was DEFINITELY NOT endorphin-induced pleasure....it was something hard and DID NOT (I hope) originate from the friends at the Atlanta-based bottling company that produces such great products as Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper....this was....*hack* this was.... 
A TOE NAIL! A HUMAN TOE NAIL! I retrieved the particle of dead cell form the posterior of my throat and GAGGED MY ASS OFF. After I removed it from my mouth I proceeded (in a stoned rage) to laugh, what little ass I had left, off. I could not stop freaking out. It was hilarious. So, the first thing I did was...call everyone I knew. And now you know.
DISCLAIMER: Yeah, sorry about that.
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| ¤30 Random things I HATE¤
1) Liars.
2) When you are not wearing underwear one day and you realize your zipper has been down at the end of the day.
3)
When your balls itch and you cannot scratch them in public so you have
to reach into your pocket to scratch them, but the people catch
you and you have to act like you were getting your keys out of your
pocket. (Note: The "pocket scratch" does not work in girl pants)
4) Any type of apparel that has initials on it. We don't care if your name starts with a C, seriously. Fuck off.
5) Going to spend the night at someone's house and realizing that you forgot your toothbrush. And you DONT use your finger.
6) Going to the hospital.
7)
Kissing someone and realizing that they are a bad kisser, but keep
kissing them and telling them that they are great because if you
told them they sucked then you wouldn't have a make-out partner anymore.
8) The over-extensive use of smileys/emoticons
9) Knowing that you are going to sneeze, but don't, but then you force yourself to and it just does not work.
10) Realizing that you are beyond broke.
11)
When you think a story is halarious and no one else thinks so and then
you replace the odd uncomfortable silence with, "Guess ya had to
have been there." But even if they were there, they probably wouldn't think it was funny.
12)
Ordering something from a fast food restaurant and getting home and
realizing that the order is incorrect. You could either starve or
take the order back, but the purpose of fast food is laziness and your
are too lazy to take it back so you eat it despite the fact that
it has tomatoes.
13)
Getting sand in your britches and taking a shower and then still
finding sand in "odd places" which makes you rethink your life
completely.
14) Cliches and carbon-copied people.
15) Hillary Duff, Hillary Duff, Hillary Duff
16) Realizing you act just like one of your parents.
17) I hate the government and anything pertaining to its corruption and anti-democratic bullshit.
18) Close-minded and ignorant southern baptists...oops I mean Republicans.
19) Conservatives (sorry, but I do.)
20)
The extensive use of "lol." When you are not laughing, not even out
loud. Then when you are laughing just a little bit, you
overexaggerate it to "lmao" but you are not laughing your ass off,
really. And when people use the asterisks to signify action, for
example. LMAO, OMG *Slaps himself in the face with a brick made of douche* (Tyler, I don't hate you for it)
21)
Feeling like you are the only one in the world that loves you and
slowly coming to the realization that you are going to die alone.
22)
Getting drunk/high and surprising yourself by devising the most funny
thing that you have ever said. You analyze it in your mind,
and you
congratulate yourself on the hilarity that is about to ensue after you
say what you are going to say. And then you say it,
and people
don't think it is funny and there is that odd silence with you just
laughing and no one else. And then you just realize
that you are just drunk and completely incapable of making sense. I die a little bit every time that happens to me.
23) Backstabbers
24) Over-active nappers AHEM Courtney
25) I HATE Reality television, minus Surreal Life because that is not reality...its surrealism.
26)
People introducing me as their "Gay Friend Christian". It makes me feel
like I should blow fairy dust in their face and pull
rainbow hankerchiefs out of my ass.
27) Blow-drying my hair. I hate it more than life itself.
28) Being completely incapable of having a hot body.
29) Balloons, balloons scare the shit out of me. I can't explain it.
30) Pink polos
¤30 Random things I LOVE¤
1) Honey Wheat Bagels with Sugar Free Grape Jam
2) Old Nickelodeon shows (Rocko's Modern Life, Salute your Shorts etc.)
3)
When you can not remember the name of someone or a character on a t.v.
show and like a week later you finally realize it and you
shout it out loud in a quiet setting, and everyone looks at you in your moment of glory.
4) Buying new hair products or shampoo.
5)
Having dreams about being in a place that you have always wanted to go
and you are having the best time of your life, but then your
alarm goes off and you just smile. Oh and sex dreams involving having sex with your hot twin.
6) Being at the beach and walking into a beach house / hotel that is cold as fuck.
7) Laughing so hard that you cry for hours and your stomach hurts and your face is hot.
8) Guys that wear make-up.
9) Buying new underwear.
10) Looking at old pictures of yourself and seeing how much you have changed and how much better you look than before.
11) Running into people that treated you like shit and seeing how much fatter they have gotten.
12)
You know when you are walking at the mall and you are just walking
minding your own business. When you see ahead a man walking
towards you and you realize that you need to move out of their way, but
there is a pole on one side of you and a crowd on the other.
So
you then realize it is too late to move out of the way so both of you
begin to choose a side, but you keep choosing the same side
about 3
times, then eventually you just stop. And allow the passerby to pass
you, with your head held down in shame because they won
- somehow.
13) I love sneezing.
14) Being tickled.
15) The Sundance Channel and independant films / Documentaries on drug use.
16)
When you are stoned/drunk and you sit for hours watching Ronco
Rotisserie Showtime Grill and the Magic Bullet infomercials.
17) Pot.
18) Reading a damn good book
19) When you walk into a retail store and the song playing on the muzak is one of your favorite songs
20) Cooking.
21) Lingo on Gameshow Network
22) Watching people sleep
23) Turning people on to French / Asian / Cult films
24) Retro 80s art and fashion.
25) Making posters for events like yard sales
26)
Waking up from a night of partying in an odd place you would otherwise
never sleep in (i.e. a closet, or under a coffee table, porch)
27) The smell of cigarette smoke, second hand smoking kills, but not if you like it.
28) The feeling you get when you try to walk around on your leg that has fallen asleep. That numb, tingly sensation.
29) Mandy Moore
30) I love taking cold showers. | | |
| So, yeah. I have not posted a blog in what seems like seven
forevers. It seems like seven forevers because I have been
hounded by a majority of you, almost every single day of my life, to
post one. So, here is some bloggage to shut that hole in your
faces. I kid. I kid.
Let's start with the beginning of this week. Since that seems to
be as far back as I care to remember. For some reason, I slipped
into a bottomless oblivion of selfishness this past weekend. The
reason I say that is because I fell into a drug binge. I don't
fall into these very often, and I do not plan on falling into another
one for a VERY VERY long time. I know some of you, whilst reading
the previous statement, are going to be very disappointed, but I feel
as though my fits with cocaine and shrooms are over. Haha, I act
like Coke, shrooms, and myself go way back, but we don't. I have
only done coke three times and I tripped on shrooms for the first time
on Sunday. Anywho, let's actually go even further back than the
coke binge. Let me go back to a predominately LAME party I went
to on Friday (7/15). But don't worry, the details of the party
are PRICELESS!
So it was just like any other Friday. I worked my little ass off
and post-work I started my rounds - and by rounds, I mean my rounds of
calling up folk to see what the plans were for the weekend. I
somehow stumbled across an invitation to a Molly Pavlov party, which if
anyone knows Molly (which I am sure a majority of you don't) her
parties are something to write home to mom about. So I was TRES
excited to be apart of this. So I get myself ready and
dress-to-the-nines and venture with Dustin on over to Molly's house to
Rendezvous-pre-party. So there is the whole "Who is driving
who" formalities that occur and then it is off to the party.
Fortunately, the party was only a few miles away. When we arrived
I was shocked and a little bit appalled by the scene. There were
cars everywhere, mainly cars sporting the "W the President" stickers,
which was the first sign of fun to be had and secondly I noticed a
rather large house with a line out of the front door, down the front
porch, and into the driveway. Which is odd in itself, but also
which is even more odd is that they were charging cover and ID-ing
everyone. I was not all for this...being charged to NOT be able
to drink was no party I wanted to be apart of, but I was tricked into
paying for it and tricked into faking a good time.
So about 30 minutes transpire and I am DESPARATE for a drink. So,
the pen-ultimate of fabulousness, Kenneth Wayne Boyles, decides that he
wants to fix me a drink - which I was more than obliged to let him do
so.
He ventures inside of the house and makes his way towards the wet bar
area. Which, at a glance, looks as if someone dropped a pretty
penny on some expensive liquors - Velvedeere, Grey Goose, Takka, the
whole crew of clears were there (Takka = sarcasm). Anyway, Ken
begins to mix me up a cocktail when he notices there is nothing to mix
it with, but water. So he just pours some water into a Dixie cup
and then begins to pour Grey Goose along with it. When the vodka
was applied Ken began to take a sip to test the waters, but then he
notices that it just tastes like water and, at first, is very excited
because he thought that he may have just created a drink that is
tasteless and will majorly fuck a bitch up, but oh was he ever so
wrong.
Ken's suspicions begin to surface..."Maybe this is REALLY just water -
period." So Ken downs the Grey Goose and low and behold EVERY
bottle in the wet bar is filled with water. How lame is
that? I mean, honestly, who the fuck does that but lame ass Bush
Supporters. So, anyway, Ken does manage to find soem CLOVER
VALLEY cola and some Gin and mixes me a drink. At first, I was
ungrateful, but then was very forunate to have such an...eclectic
drink.
Seven minutes transpire, and I am still faking a good time (doing it
very well I might add) and all of a sudden I see at least forty people
running towards the back yard fence. I begin to say, "What the
fu..." and by the time I had even gotten to finish the last syllable of
FUCK I noticed all of my friends, including Ken, are running as
well. I asked no further questions because as soon as I began to
wonder I heard the most horrible words ever uttered by a human being at
a party bellow from the corner of the yard. "COPS!" The
authorities had arrived, which at first, I was not really that
worried...I mean cops don't really bother me unless I am doing
something VERY illegal, but I was only drinking under-age and no one
prosecutes that anymore. So, I am walking (not running) towards
the twelve foot fence and all I see is ass and shoes going over this
fence and I just began to stand at the bottom of the fence. I
KNEW I was not going to be able to conquer this mountain of vertical
plywood.
So, all of a sudden I see Ken run and mount this fence and jump over it
like it was a hurdle on a track. I was amazed. It was truly
a feat never completed by a human. So then I see his head pop up
from the other side of the fence and I hear, "Christian, give me your
hand! I can't go to jail again! Let's go!" I
responded with, "Ken, what the fuck? I can't get over this.
The cops aren't going to do anything." Then he responded, "Get
the fuck over this fence. I will pull you." So for the sake
of not arguing I attempt to climb the fence via a tree placed next to
it. First attempt: failed. Second attempt:
Failed. By the third attempt a young man, heavy build, says,
"Dude, here. I will push you over. But don't think I am gay
or anything I am going to push you over by your ass." Lucky for
me, he resorted to just pushing me over by my ankles. Lucky for
him , I am not gay. Well, sort of not. Right...who am I
kidding?
Anyway, when I had finally made it over the fence my first response
was, "My God, how ridiculous" because the scene over the fence was
nothing I had ever seen. I was in someone's backyard running with
about 60 people who were slowly trailing off in different directions
HIDING in neighbor's bushes. I then said out loud, "God, this
party is so much more fun now that the cops are here." And it was
true. It will be a party I will always remember due to the sheer
absurdity that occurred.
After walking through the neighborhood of Hide-n-go-Seek: Version
Drunk, we began to wonder where Molly and friends had run off to.
Well, apparently, like NORMAL people, Molly and Ashley had walked right
out the front door and gotten into their car. However, her sister
and her beau hunk had apparently jumped the fence and ran into the
neighborhood. So we were split. Luckily we called Molly and she
was only a short distance from us and she picked us up.
Unfrotunately, he sister and beau were still in the neighborhood of
Misfit Drunks. So we venture into the neighborhood in Ashley's
car and my was it a scene. It was like going on a safari and
spotting various rare animals in the night, only this time it was
drunks and when you shined your headlights in any one directions all
you saw were feet and ass. It was hilarious.
So we begin to shout "Mahhhhh-nick-ahhhhhh" (for the
phoneticaly-imparied that equals MONICA). And I was a little
tipsy and would add the occassional "Here kitty kitty kittttyyy."
I was the only that thought it was humorous, well Ken did too. So
finally we see someone running at our car resembling the elusive
Monica, but low and behold it wasn't. It was only a random drunk
bitch. But this was a brave random drunk bitch, because not only
was she running AT the car, she got INTO the car with us. (out of
breath) "I know I do not know you guys, but could you please run me up
the street to my apartment, I am missing a shoe and my foot is
bleeding." I INSTANTLY started laughing. It was hilarious
to see this drunk ass bitch missing a shoe and slowly bleeding all over
the carpet. Priceless.
So we take her. She gets out and doesn't even thank us. So
we came to the conclusion we hated her. So then we FINALLY
discover Monica who was high as a kite because she had smoked a blount
in one of the neighbor's front yard IN THE BUSHES with other random
drunks. Once again, priceless. So we all leave and go back
to Molly's and decide we want to ride a white horse. So Molly and
Ken bought coke and we sat by the pool and did lines until 8:30 a.m.
when I proceeded to go to work until 1 p.m. It was nuts.
The shrooms, I don't even want to talk about it because that was the
most horrifying night of my life. I will spare you the details.
All in all, I have learned that house parties suck and drugs are
incredibly bad for your health. So I am taking a hyedas from
drugs and house parties INDEFINATELY. TBA.
I will keep you updated on my progess. | | |
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