Done with xanga.... well atleast this site...

        the whole time ive had this thing about 90% of the entries have been about B CoX*, and on my old one too, so its time for this thing to come to an end...

                               byee!!

SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE!!!

Sometimes when we love someone very much
We have to go through every tear
Every heartache, and every pain, because in the end
It's not how we l.o.v.e
But how we h.o.l.d  o.n

Don't find love; let love find you.
That's why it's called falling in love.
You don't force yourself to fall.
You just do.

So we fall for stupid boys.
We make lots of dumb mistakes.
We like to act s.t.u.p.i.d
Talk really fast, and laugh really loud.
But us teenage girls
We're really good at one thing.
Staying strong.

Maybe that's what I'm starting to realize.
The pain is temporary
But the connections we make, they last forever
And change our lives in ways we're not even aware of yet

I'm in no hurry, I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cause I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressures
In the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow

I'll love you always and forever and not a day less...thats to you B! 

I know one day you'll be home, and I know you'll come and read what my life was without you here... and no this...

not a day goes by that you don't cross my mind

not a day goes by that i dont wish u were here

i will NEVER deny to ANYONE the feelings i have for you...NEVER!

you are the best part of my life and dont ever doubt that

You are what i have been looking forward to for the past 15 months, and i will never forget the feeling i get in my stomach when u run to hug me at our visits, and i will never forget the feeling i have when i look into your eyes and you tell me you love me

this is real... what we have is real, and no one can take this away from us

in the end... everythings gonna be ok

i wont break my promise if u dont break yours... just please come home!

     So Brandon looked freakin adorable saturday.... HE DID THE MOHAWK!  Ha i dont think you no how obsessed i used to be with that, i loved it... he thought it was just gonna be his Gma walkin through the door but then there i was and he just jumped up with this huge ass smile it was perfect.  He ran over and like picked me up... god i miss that fucker!  Everythin between me and him is so perfect right now... i wish he could come home so bad...

    We sat down and had a little talk... he went off about how he wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me... i knew it  was comin and i was kinda nervous about it but the way he went about it was real cute actually so it wasnt bad... we got in trouble like always but damn we for real this time were just standin against the fence shit.

    His gma found out about some stuff she wasnt too happy about so she started cryin and goin off about how she might not mean that much to him but she nos i do and started goin off about me so then i kinda started to cry then he kinda started to cry it was crazy but i think it was good...

     I felt like me and him were little kids cuz well we are the little kids there... everyone watches out for Brandon in there.  We were just jokin around and playin and stuff it was cute i liked it... me and him have finally reached this real good comfort level for him bein in there... its not akward when i go see him there anymore it just feels like its me and him.

    He told me and my mom a buncha crazy stories though... I dunno it makes me worry a little when he talks about that stuff... someone hung himself in there last week... and someone somehow got a pair of his boxers and drew little hearts around his name... and people line up to watch him in the showers... I dunno like he always tells me its just a whole nother world and its not one i want him to be a part of, but I guess theres not much i can do about it now.

          so yesterday didnt exactly go how me and b planned it to...

   he was adorable came walkin around the corner all excited to see me tyler and justin was all like hey wats up guys

   me and him just kept mouthin back and forth to each other i love you and he kept blowin me kisses it was real cute... we waited for like 2 hours till it was his turn but that was ok cuz that was 2 hours i got to be there with him

  well when they got to his case you slowly could just watch his face change, his eyes filled with tears and his mouth just dropped... it was like they basically looked at him and said fuck you

  he had been thinkin for the past 14 months that yesterday was the day he was gonna come home and well lets just say he didnt handle it well... he broke down... ive never seen him cry like that before

  I could tell he was tryin to hold back the tears so bad but soon as he left the court room and walked around the corner he just b.r.o.k.e... of course i jumped on him gave him a hug and kiss told him i loved him but he couldnt even really hug back cuz he was handcuffed hands and feet so he just like cried on my shoulder... it was horrible i was shakin when i left

  but just be hopeful i guess they told him they want him to finish his term of 6 years so that would be 5 more years... he thinks he might go up for paraole in december who nos tho i dont wanna get my hopes up for another disappointement like this- i dont think i would be able to take it

       so ya PLEASE pray for him...

  Im goin over ot his house 2nite to talk to him and see how hes doin - i sure hope hes doin better than he was this time yesterday...

    ok so apparently theres a few complications goin on with Brandons court date already... just like always

    They have his charges down wrong right now so until it gets fixed he cant have his hearing...

    but his Gma is talkin to the lawyer today then givin me a call to fill me in with whats goin on HOPEFULLY they can get it all sorted out and everythin will still be on schedule so as for now keep hopin hes still comin home monday!