When's the last time you cried like a little bitch?
Me: Two minutes ago. You: Two minutes from now.
I'm a bit late on this, but I just learned via a certain blog I stalk that a Thai life insurance company is employing the most devious, insidiously genius ad campaign EVER... all by simply making every one of us cry like WoW geeks on Valentine's Day. Friggin' aye, it's been a while since I've cried (those instances being few and extremely far between).. but these ads just get RIGHT UP in that soft, weepy, sentimental part of my psyche. They worm in and manipulate my puny porn-addled brain in all the right spots and rape the shit out of all the right buttons.
So I thought I'd spread the love around 'cause after all, a good cry is sort of like a good orgasm. Culmination of a build-up of sensation, expulsion of liquids, then sweet release and relief, .
I've ordered them from least blubber-inducing to most blubber-inducing.
In other words, we're going from ones that made my lip quiver and eyes
pool up to ones that struck me with the most violent of full-out
bawling, tears-streaming-cheeks, snot-collecting-in-pool,
chest-convulsing, "How could you do this God?!??!"-face, sobfests.
*For those with short attention spans, you can just skip to the top 3.. you heartless bastards*
6. "Daddy" (for the Viet readers, does anyone else think that in the
first few frames, the doctor looks like the host of Paris by Night?
Yeah? That made snort a bit. Snort through my tears, that is)
5. "Marry Me"
4. "Grandma"
3. "Grandpa"
2. "My Son"
1.
"My Girl" (And we have our winner! Does anyone have an entire box of
Kleenex or super absorbent tampons I can just jam in my tear ducts? And up my sinuses? Make that two boxes.)
P.S. If you didn't cry, and are instead now thinking "Stupid girl.. what cheesy, mawkish dreck" - Fuck you. When you get leukemia, no one is going to love and marry you "A Walk To Remember" style. So BOOYAH! Booyah right in yo' tear-free, non-puffy face.. you shell of a human.
. 
