I am tacking these onto my life's "To-Do" list, right underneath "threesome with Japanese twins". Oh shit, wait a minute - whose list is this? ...... Damn you, Austin Powers! You have my list!
So I'm still hacking like an 80 yr. old smoker and hating life... but I think I'll live. Every now and then my brain begins devolving into a hot, throbbing glob of gelatin, so I suspect my next few entries will be a hodgepdoge of random, incoherent dribble.. but you'll still love me, right?*left eye twitches*. Don't make me put your bunny in a pot.*
*For those born late or post-80's - don't worry 'bout it. Just wait and see.
However, zee beloved interwebz always manage to provide a few bright spots to my day! Behold:
There's this one graphic t-shirt site I adore so much I want to make sweet, sweet love to it. They had this one design that I was instantly smitten with upon first viewing, but I waited just a tad too long to order and it went out of print! Huge bummer. I put my vote in for a reprint, but since there's no guarantee I soon forgot about it. Flash forward a few months: I open up my inbox yesterday, and guess what? They're REPRINTING THE SHIRT!Yeehaw! Baby, You. Are. MINE, .
Lookie, this design will soon be emblazoned across my chest in bright green:
.... Puahahaaaaaa. Makes me all warm inside. Okay, I realize this may not be everyone's kind of humor, but it sure as hell is mine. So crude, so misanthropic, so ME. (Note: If this in fact isn't your sort of humor... um, what the heezy are you doing here? The type of crap I regularly spout makes this shirt look like something from Frasier. Fo' rizzles). But yeah, I'm snatching it up this time. In two weeks' time, it'll be signed, sealed, and delivered to my door, .
Secondly, I stumbled onto a video all sorts of awesome. Now wait! I know the last bajillion vids I posted made the girls cry and the guys.... also cry, then run out and beat up some orphans to feel manly again, but I promise this will make up for it. Especially if you enjoyed that news special on the "crackheads" who thought they saw a leprechaun in a tree. (Yes, you read that right. If you haven't seen it, I strongly suggest a viewing - especially since we're so near St. Patty's Day, ). Both videos are chock full of hilarity, I promise.
In other news, my brother is applying for a medical internship program this summer and I'm sitting here, delirium and all, basically writing his damn entrance essay for him. Shiiiiiet. All I know is when he becomes a doctor, I better get a lifetime of free medical care. And a cut of the profit. And... maybe even a kidney, if need be.
Question: If you pleasure yourself to porn that was recommended by a good friend, knowing that they recommended it to you, that it's imprinted with their essence, that there's a 99% chance they also pleasured themselves to that exact same scene, and that they actually thought about you enough during/after watching it to suggest it in the first place... by law of transitivity, aren't you basically touching yourself to them?
Aren't you basically touching them?
Aren't you basically HAVING SEX WITH YOUR FRIEND without them knowing about it?!?!?!??!
...........
I'm asking purely out of curiousity here. Really. *wrings hands anxiously*
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