a brand new start

the best thing about 2007 is my deo. what comes to mind, is scattered words, thoughts, but not emotions. i know what i feel for this guy, and its indescribable. yes it is. it kind of weird because hes always been there for me this entire time, and yet its only now that we realize how much we connect with each other, on so many different levels. i dont want to jinx things, and say too much, so i will just leave it at that. he has become such a blessed presence in my life, and im so thankful for it; he couldnt have come at a more perfect time. mmmhmmm.

2+ years.

wow how times has changed. it has been so long since ive wrote in here, and its so weird, because i used to write in here all the time. i never woulda guessed that two years would take me so far, and bring me back close to the past, by even closer to the future. i have been blessed with people whom i wouldnt trade for the world. YES, some have their faults, YES, some have more faults than others, but i love their flaws, like they love mines. i have grown up so much since two years ago, a LOT less worried about pleasing others, and waiting for those i wish would change to do so. i know that change is inevitable, but that we cant force it onto someone. when someone is willing to change, they will change for the better. family life has been chaotic, i guess where i live now i cant really call "home." but it will do, better than not having a place to stay at all. my mom is in vietnam right now, my brother is in washington, my dad is god knows where, and my sister in law is somewhere i dont know either. she said she had somewhere to go. so i am at home by myself, like usual. kids always wish that they're parents would go out of town so that they could have the whole house to themselves, in kids who are still in college living at home - since wishing for a sense of freedom. but i wish differently, i wish family would stay home. i dont get to see my mom much. but she deserves this vacation, so its okay she's gone right now. but, prior her working 3 jobs, i barely saw her. and she means the world to me. i strive to be the best, just for her, because all shes has ever worked for has gone to me. i miss my brother too. hes in a submarine somewhere right now, and i havent talked to him in forever. hes my backbone, and my support. although we never really got along, and although we dont really have much to say to each other, i dont know anyone who understands me the way that only my brother could understand me. im always missing someone, somewhere is always far away... but i know each day brings me closer to the ones that i love. college has been okay, i fell off track, something i thought id would never succumb to; but i have, shamefully so. most of the time i feel stupid for not going to a 4 year, because i know that would have kept me on track with everything. but i guess, i wouldnt have grown into who i am now if i didnt make all the mistakes, im trying to mend right now. hard work has always been a word ive been surrounding by, and accustomed to. and hard work is what will earn me the leisure in later days. well anyways, all this blabbbering on. i better finish up homework. probably no one read these anymore, haha i barely do. see heres to probably the next 2 years. or maybe i will start to come back to this ;p byebye!

the one who has the misfortune of not having love in their life has no idea, how much a husband could love his wife. though love is hard to comprehend, there's still a million out there waiting for a kiss on the hand. that kiss can elevate and escalate into the true meaning of fate & destiny, without the tease ,with the please, and with the man on one knee. but love can shatter those open hearts that let just one in. what if the one, isn't your "one" what if he's a man in disguise, a false love that brings your hopes up high, and in the end he's in love with another woman. in the mirror of their souls is merely thin lies, hiding the truth of their hearts. what's really real, we could never truly see, because in us, we see what we want to see. so hard to deny, but i must wait in patience the man of my dreams to reveal himself to me. is the mask just another man with a flask in his pocket? or a man who keeps my picture in a heart shaped locket? why should i complain about love, when i know my heart has already been packed away, seal with a kiss and sent off? to that man, who i look forward to seeing each day, it doesn't matter what we'll say because the silence of the dead of the night is what keeps our love bright. but our warmth is the guiding light to the future which we both cannot see. but two is enough in this game of love, through the rough we venture, but the outcome is what we've envisoned of.

<3MISSMY.

what can i say, i'm still procrastinating. but yeah, i love julius =] allrighty. see ya latta!

i'm madly in love with him. two weeks, seems like forever . but i know we'll be forever. have fun in hawaii =] love you.

happy birthday IRMA!! because.. you're special. haha.!

my first entry since, a LONG LONG TIME!

-MISSMY