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| and how it goes...so the last time i posted, i had just started my freshman year at usc.
i was a scared student, not happy to be there because it wasn't
columbia, didn't have many friends, and i had just started liking r.
mas. so since then, let's recap.
my freshman year was awesome!! with two exclamation points. i honestly
can't imagine being anywhere else. yeah, school was okay for me. got
all right grades, the campus is nice, and all that blah blah that
people usually talk about when talking about their college experience.
however, i am here to talk about what made me feel like i can't be
anywhere else than usc. two words.... troy philippines. this
organization made my year what it was. sure, i didn't do everything on
their agenda because of bowling and i'm definitely not mad about that,
but the times i did have with the extraordinary people in this club was
beyond amazing. no one can say that they've had the time of their life
at campbell hall like i can, but as the only filipino in the school, my
enjoyment was very limited. at usc however, with the most amazing
filipinos and pseudo filipinos, my time of my life is now. now, i'm on
the executive board for troy phi and looking forward to serving the
people that did me well during my freshman year. so what's next?
sophomore year.
r. mas. the last two posts was me talking about how head over heels i
was for him. and one school year later, that hasn't really changed.
what has really changed? well, it turned out he did like me. how could
that ever happen? i was surprised myself. everything i was analyzing
before about whether or not he liked me or whether or not he was
flirting me wasn't over-analysis after all. it all meant something, as
he has told me. that little story i wrote about locking fingers turned
out to be a test. it's not as bad as it sounds. he wanted to feel my
hands. hahaha i cracked up when he told me that and i appreciated it
because it showed that he did have interest in me. so fast forward a
month later, we exchange numbers and the rest, as they say, is history.
i consider myself lucky to have him. he's everything "clark kent"
wasn't (btw, clark kent is now "NOT R. Mas" on my cell phone). that
thing with clark kent was so bad for me from the beginning. and i'm so
happy to be out of it and with r. mas. r. mas treats me with so much
respect and loves me as much as i love him, and i love that. 
so here comes the bad part. my relationship with clark kent fucked me
up so badly. i constantly pick up fights with r. mas over stupid stuff.
i'm so lucky to have him because he keeps up with all that. i'm trying
so hard to not pick up fights with him anymore because he means
everything and more to me and i don't want to mess anything up. he's
done so much for me and i can only hope i'm doing the same for him. so
what's next? first anniversary! 
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| new thingscollege is all about trying new things. for me? it's trying a new guy (that sounds sleezy), trying a new sport, and trying a new work ethic. how are all those working out for me? the new guy? it's too soon to tell. the new sport? a lot harder than i thought. the new work ethic? it's getting there. r. mas- i honestly can't stop thinking about him. there was a scary scenario that happened this weekend where i couldn't stop crying and worrying. the only thing that put a smile on my face was when i forgot everything and just paid all my attention to him and remembered the last time we hung out. it won't be a couple of days till i see him again and i keep dreading every passing day. i wonder if he thinks about me..... doubtful. dragonboat racing- i've never felt so incompetent in a sport. i thought i was doing well, then out of nowhere this veteran behind me kept correcting me. it was hard and my arms are going to feel it tomorrow and a couple of days after that. i have a 7AM workout tomorrow and i'm happy and sad about it. on one hand, i have to wake up early. on the other hand, i'm actually doing physical activity which is always a good thing. freshmen fifteen? hopefully not. actually reading- so we've established that i'm in college now. the expected work load is high and i'm only now starting to do some work. i got tired after reading 10 pages. i have an essay to write and 4 chapters and an online session i have to go through. shit, i slacked off the first week of class. THE FIRST WEEK!! damn. that'll change after i catch up. this is a vow. | | |
| so this is what college is like, huh?i don't remember the last time i decided that i wanted to update this thing, but a few days in college and having things go on, i decide that maybe this will be good for me. i don't expect people will actually read it. i'm doing this for me. i'm am currently a student in usc. was it my first choice? not exactly. was it my second choice? can't say that it was. third? fourth? fifth? i can't really remember my thought-out plans during the college application process. i do remember that my junior year was all about usc, then senior year was all against usc. any reason for it? well i think because i thought i was good enough for columbia university. i thought i was good enough to the point that i thought i was a shoe-in. i got too comfortable and BAM my choice of school was solely a financial-based decision. so, why did i decide to go to usc? they gave me the most financial aid. plain and simple. i could've been at chapman, trinity, ucsd, or any other school that accepted me, but no.
so here i am after my first week of classes. i don't have many friends yet. it's not my personality to go out and socialize with strangers. i don't make friends easily, but the friends that i do make are close. the whole week and a half i've been here, i've been hanging out with jessica stern (one of the most amazing people i know), her roommate, and people that she knows. i've never felt that i was so annoying in my life. i'm pretty much a leech onto her and i feel horrible. i told her that i feel this way and she, being one of the nicest people i know, tried to tell me that i shouldn't feel the way that i feel. other than that, college is not so bad. my classes kinda scare me, but i should be fine. the only one that i can say that i'll enjoy is microeconomics mainly because the professor is amazing.
in other news.i think i'm falling for a guy. this may not seem bad, but i sorta have a "not-so-much boyfriend." it's hard to explain, but the point is i'm not suppose to have feelings for another guy. we will currently call my "not-so-much boyfriend" "clark kent" because that's his name on my cell when he calls and we will call upcoming crush "r.mas." let's just say that clark kent is amazing and we have good times together, but r.mas pretty much swept me off my feet. he's just so good looking and always smiling. the past two or three weeks in the days i've seen him, i flirt with him. and, unless i'm reading too much into it, i think he's flirting back. he caught me staring at him, then i caught him staring at me. i gave him a high five and he held my hand and we locked fingers. maybe he's just being polite. i don't know, but i know that i like him because sometimes i find myself stopping in my tracks to just think about him. i think my complicated situation with clark kent is why i'm allowing myself to like r.mas as much as i do. i really don't know what to do. any advice? | | |
| nothing feels better than your parental unit comparing you to your almighty, perfect brother. he's loving, smart, perfect, everything you want in a son. while you're selfish, ungrateful, and fake. that's everything you want in a daughter right? | | |
| hahaha... and we're back to where we started --> *********. other stuff.. hmm.. school is alright.. made the decision on the first day of school to drop ap us history. kinda regret it, kinda don't. i ended up making a deal with robillard that i would take the AP exam anyway. he'll help me and people taking the AP class will help me. so it's all good. everything is okay. this year, cross country has been a bitch and it's my fault entirely. i didn't make it as high a priority during the summer as i did the other two summers. i am nowhere near the shape i was in during this time last year. it sucks losing to a freshman everytime. i'm working on it though. this week was the hardest week we've had so far. we worked through the meet we had this week. that means that even though we had a meet we had hard practices the day before and the day after the meet, so we would, in the end, have five hard work outs this week as oppose to three or four. now we're all in pain and most of them are sick. i'm just glad that what they had didn't get me. i think every boy got sick this week including pflieger. all i know is that there are about four weeks left and one week is environmental trips. which, by the way, i can't wait for. it probably won't be half as much fun as santa barbara or a quarter as much fun as joshua tree. but it is, however, going to be a week off to hang out with my class and end hard weeks at school. it's beginning to be tough, but not too tough. lunch class sucks and i'm not doing too well, but i'll get my act together. ummm.. what else? i guess that's it. post about more exciting, yet not really, stuff later. LATES! | | |
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