| | It's about time I update... I feel the need to do so especially with all the crap going on in my life..
First of all, Madonna's "Hard Candy" is actually a great album; all the songs are produced by Pharrell / Neptunes, Justin Timberlake and Timbaland so nothing can go wrong there.. I can't believe she's turning 50 in August... whatever the music is great and that's all that matters to me.
Secondly, AP testing is happening the next two weeks and I'm very unprepared / stressed / out of it. Argh.. What sucks is that nowadays I'm too lazy to do homework... and I end up falling asleep before I even get the chance to shower. I end up having to shower in the morning a lot now. I don't remember the last time I did homework at nighttime. Every night I fall asleep in front of the computer, change into my pajamas to feel comfortable, take a nap in bed and wake up at 7AM muttering "oh shit."
Right now, I either have a headache, a fever (my forehead's burning up), or I'm just super light-headed 'cause I feel like I'm about to faint. I think it's from all the junk food that I've been eating this past week.. especially burritos. I feel unhealthy and fat because I'm losing control over my abs (that's kinda how I tell). Also, my heart's been aching (literally) and I don't know if it's chest pain or what. It feels bad...like my heart is sore and heavy or something... I don't know why.. probably the food? What sucks is that I can't work out without having someone there to push me.. lol. My forehead really is on fire right now though... so maybe I'm just sick. Ugh..
Furthermore, there's been a lot of crap going on with prom. I don't want to talk or think about it, but all I know is that I pissed people off, made a girl cry, created awkwardness with a friend, and still am confused/unhappy about everything. My last plan of action will take place on Monday... my last bit of hope. If nothing works out and I end up creating more complications... I'm just gonna not go to prom. I'm so fed up with everything already... this has never happened to me for a formal dance before; in the past, everything went smoothly... but now I'm just sick of it all. To those who know about what happened please don't tell anyone. And if you want to know what happened, don't bother asking because I'm just going to lose my temper. I don't want to be reminded about it.
What's worse is that it's all getting to my head. I've been having dreams about failing school, not doing Math homework (lol this was actually one of my nightmares... Mr. Cohen yelled @ me in front of the entire class and as a result, Cal rescinded my admission), losing best friends, being unhappy in college, etc. As you can see, life sucks so much now that it's affecting my dreams, but thanks to everyone who's been supporting me anyway. You know who you are, and I really don't know what I'd do without you guys.
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| | Posted 5/2/2008 11:53 PM - 1 comments
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