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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

I am really, really afraid of commitment.

That's cool I guess-- it makes me a baller.

Hmmmm....sucks for the boy, though. I *really* like him, too. Just...um...stressful being trapped. Missed out on two interesting opportunities this summer, due to being trapped. Maybe it will feel better after we see each other again. It has been 3 months. I hope. If not...well then, a whole new problem to deal with, I guess. ^_^ Good news is I think we have similar views on the subject.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Dear World

I can't actually do anything right.

Love,
Maia.

P.S: I'm so inferior to those I care most about. How did I become someone who could feel this way? What happened to my self confidence?

P.S.S: I really really miss that kid. UGH.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

If you were a celebrity, what type of products would you endorse?

If I were a celebrity, I would endorse products that made people feel better about themselves.

There is no celebrity I admire more than Queen Latifah. Who sponsors organic make-up, with an eye to the environment(Cover Girl) and Jenny Craig, healthy weightloss.

I love the idea of celebrities working to make people happier, instead of giving them inferiority complexes. It's a nice thought.

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What would you do if you suspected your significant other of cheating on you but couldn't prove it?

I'm not a confrontational person. I find it really hard to be assertive about things that matter. Things like this would take every ounce of my courage to face if it was proven my sig. other was a cheater.

I think relationships are built on trust. I'd never give my heart to someone I thought I couldn't trust, and I feel like, based on my personality, that is the best choice for me. In that spirit, I'd try and trust that the person I loved wouldn't cheat on me. I think people should give the benefit of the doubt to the person they clearly trusted enough to date, or marry, or etc, until it was proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my trust was misplaced.

Maybe the world would be a better place if more people trusted each other and themselves.

BUT.

But this is hard to live up to. As anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows, with even the most loving couple, there are moments of insecurity. Insecurity in yourself, insecurity in your partner, and insecurity in where things are going and how they're going to turn out. It's hard sometimes, to think about the agonizing prospect of the 'hands off' approach, and to sit back and place your trust in someone else's emotions.

As someone who has always been attracted to fickle men, I know the daunting nature of waiting for evidence before making a decision. It's painful and can cause you to doubt yourself-- are you really worthy of him/her? Is there someone else who can offer them more? Why would they look elsewhere?

I know some of you that know me personally know the personal struggle I have with this all the time. I often place my trust in people after much deliberation, and have it thrown back in my face. And the guy I'm interested in/ dating now-- Mr. December, if you can remember back that far, guys, is the king of indecision, and he's off in a foreign country, and I'm so afraid I'm not going to live up to some girl he hasn't met yet, or the one he has met while he's working and learning.

But I think the problem there lies in my own self confidence. Even if I suspect him of cheating on me, I think I need to trust not only in him, but my own value as a girl, and as a girlfriend, and be secure in the fact that he chose to be with me.

And I think that idea is applicable in every situation. We should trust more in ourselves and in our loved ones in order to be happier.

That's my idea of the day.
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Monday, June 02, 2008

Currently Listening
Comfort Eagle
By Cake
Short Skirt Long Jacket
see related
Do you collect anything out of the ordinary? If so, what is it, and why do you collect it?

I don't know how out of the ordinary it is, but I collect cell phone charms.

This goes back to the time I spent in Japan. In Japan, you will not catch a high school or college girl with an unfashionable phone. Every phone has some kind of adorable charm hanging off of it-- whether it be Hello Kitty, or some other child-like memorabilia, or a symbol...no phone is complete without a dangling expression of its user's individuality(or in my opinion, conformity.) Even the boys sometimes get in on the act-- one thing I love about Japan is how it refuses to allow things to be categorized as feminine or masculine in terms of fashion-- a man is not judged by the cut of his shirt unless it's ugly, or the fact that he's carrying a purse, or whatever.

Anyway, when it was time for me to leave Japan the first time, almost every single one of my friends, having eyed my unadorned cell phone with pity and compassion, gave me a cell phone charm. Unable to choose which one to use(in fear of seeming to have favorites), I put ALL of them on my phone.

After that, any time people gave me a cell phone charm, I'd just add it to my collection. It became a running joke on both sides of the Pacific that I was the Queen of Cell Phone Charms, and when I went back to Japan, I recieved even more cell phone charms to add to my phone.

Now, 3 years and 2 phones later, I still have all those cell phone charms attached to my phone, so I guess you can call me a collector. Over the years I've lost some charms due the hustle and bustle of life, but each and every charm is as special to me as the friend who gave it.

I love my collection, even if it's heavier than my phone! I like carrying memories of individual people with me everwhere I go!

Here's some of my charms-- there are more behind my hand-- makes for a heavy traveling companion.
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