"Hello
My name is Nina. a 22 yrs old girl . I am average in height and fair in complexion ,am a loving, romantic and caring angel. I read your profile. truely is quiet intresting to me then , i deciede to contact you. i really want to have a good relationship with you. Beside i have a special something i want to discusse with you , so your can reach me through this Email: (nina_ni22@yahoo.com)Hope to hear from you soon. i will send my beautiful pictures to you and also tell you more about my self. I know age will not be a bearier to our relationship, what i need is just your love and caring. I will give you my best, bye for now. contact me from here (nina_ni22@yahoo.com)

care from Nina"

UUUUUGGGGHHHH. Here is my immediate response:

"I'm sorry to hear that your father died. However, since now that you have all of those millions of dollars to yourself you should send it all to me so that I can spend it on helping you escape your war-torn country. I know that you won't be able to send me the money without me first sending you a little bit so that you can access it, but have you ever thought about prostitution? I think you'll find that the pays much better and will maintain about the same level of dignity and pride as being an online conman.

Best of Luck,

Michael"

I don't even have the patience to toy with them anymore. How irritating.

 

I have decided to commence with outlining some general but very common misconceptions to set some basis for the rest of the series. There are quite a few, but I picked out the top five to keep things concise. Dually, my selection is limited towards those misconceptions which men frequently and directly grapple with--often without their full knowledge. Don't be discouraged from reading if you're a lady. Chances are you can learn a thing or two from this as well.

1. Women like nice guys.

This is a big one. This concept is reinforced everywhere; from movies and sit-coms to advice columns and fairy tales. Even women as a gender typically support this claim. However, this is quite far from the truth. Most women don't even truly understand that they don't like nice guys. It just happens that for some unexplainable reason, they never seem to date or attract one. This is only half right. They never date them, because they themselves deeply and subconsciously do not find nice guys appealing.

Women like Men--not nice guys. This is because nice guys are in fact not nice, but an utter and profound tool. To prevent confusion, let me define the distinction.

Nice Guys

• Always empathetic--never critical. He will always attempt to hug you and agree with whatever you say--assuring you that everything will be alright. He will never tell you that you're wrong, or lend advice on how you could have gone about the situation better. This is because nice guys are there for you, they're there to be there.
• Nice guys always let you choose. Whereas a man will take charge at the frequent indecision of a female, a nice guy will never take a step forward without full consent and choice first given by a woman. This ranges from something as mundane as movie selection, planning an event, or something as critical as making "the move".
• Nice guys are not confident--ever; merely self-assured. The difference is subtle but significant. A self-assured nice guy will not feel threatened when a woman changes plans on their private date to instead go to a party that Brad invited her to that same night. See where I am going with this? Likewise, a self-assured nice guy will never approach you on the dance floor--only at the bar. This is a world of difference.
• Nice guys will never sexually satisfy you. Even if they are technically proficient and equally dedicated, they will get you close but not quite...there. This is because tenderness has consumed the trait inherent to masculinity--aggression. I could elaborate further, but then I would be droning on about the obvious. Conclusively, why else do bad boys do is so much better?
• Nice guys lack an essential form of wit--dry & sarcastic humor. Likened to being self-assured versus confident, a nice guy will never risk offbeat humor which could possibly offend the female. They may make feeble attempts, but unless your jaw occasionally drops in shock only to twist into a smile followed by a playful slap--he's not being very dry or humorous.
• Nice guys possess poor body language. I will not elaborate, as that will come in a later entry.

2.    Women are less shallow than men.

This is profoundly and utterly false. Women are not less shallow than men. They enjoy looks just as much as anybody else, and will succumb to them just as easily as men. Ever seen a sea of girls swooning over boy bands? If you think this is because of their personality profile in Tiger Beat or even because of their voice--stand one foot away from a wall facing Mecca, then deeply and repeatedly bow until you can see The Holy Father.

"I see girls much more attractive than their boyfriends all of the time! This is proof girls are less shallow!" You are indeed seeing correctly, but your observation is false. Girls are not so much noble as they are crushingly insecure (as a whole). Women will date a guy far below her status because it is a degree of power and security in the relationship. If he should be lucky to get a girl with her looks, then it will be unlikely that he will leave her for such reasons. Thus, a degree of anxiety is relieved. Simply put, girls are equally shallow--but typically cannot handle the pressures of dating an attractive, or especially far more attractive man.

3.  Women want a man to take care of them.

This is wrong for many of the same reasons women don't like nice guys. This is not to say they don't wish to be provided for--they do. However, this has more to do with a desire for their counterpart to possess power and ability--not to be nurtured by them. Some might find this confusing, so I'll set some examples:

Good:

• Paying for 'x'.
• Making decisions.
• Leaving the room for a few minutes without saying why, but commanding them to stay put after you've left them alone standing blindfolded and naked.

Bad:

• Being constantly attentive.
• Being too inquisitive to her mood.
• Constructing overly elaborate dinner/date plans.

Simply stated, women are attracted to men with power--which gives them the ability to provide and control--not nurture and care. Another subtle example of how one can do the "right" thing, but fail because of it.

4.  Women are better with relationships.

In most relationships, mistakes tend to equal out overall. The nature of these flaws are quite different though. Women tend to make a constant barrage of minor problems like overreacting, being too demanding, anger for honesty, etc. while men tend to make larger mistakes of forgetting important dates, being too fatalistic, or the dreaded infidelity.

A constantly compounding of minor irritations or an occasional but dramatic fuck up? Neither is truly worse than the other--it really depends on the people in the relationship. The honest truth is that women are just as bad at relationships as men, but simply care and/or bring more attention to them. That aside, women tend to make horrible choices in men and often date jerks, losers, deadbeats, asshole alcoholics, etc. in the belief that "they can fix them" or "improve" them. Blatantly flawed.

5.  BFF

Entirely wrong. While there are always exceptions, as a general rule men need to account for the fact that 84% of females will stab the other in the back or leave them stranded out of pettiness and jealousy. Instead of friends, Women have people that they spend their time with. If the majority of those people happen to be men, it's because they're tools and give her all she wants. If they're female, it typically has more to do with status, convenience, or mutual interests rather than genuine comradery. Yes yes, I exaggerate--but not by much.

There you have it. This is but a brief and initial entry into my realistic explanations of 21st century women. Feel free to ridicule, comment, and/or agree on any and all points listed or not. I hope you enjoyed this entry.

Does the "Truth" campaign not realize that it needs to update its approach? Awareness has long since arrived. Their ceaseless and banal attempts at shock-value or provocative thought only serve to irritate and annoy. This tactic was once fruitful, but has long since ceased to be!!!

The "Truth" campaign needs to rear themsevles in and regroup. What they need to do is start targeting teenage girls becuase they're the real population of smokers in the west, and continue to grow as smokers as a whole shrink. We know cigarettes are unhealthy, we know Big Tobacco uses shady practices, we know, we know, we know....

Unless this campaign wants to hurry up writing their own epitaph, they need to make cigarettes uncool for young girls--most likely by making it seem as a completely unappealing trait to young men. Simple.

To the "Truth" campaign. STOP IRRITATING AND START INNOVATING.

Perhaps it's simply the fervor of youth, but I feel like some ER Physicians give up a bit too easily. As I'm on the code team, I see alot of things go down. Yesterday we had this woman bradied into respiratory failure and ventricular tachycardia while she was undergoing and endoscopy procedure. I knew she has a tension pneumothorax, but other than that no details. She was also a dwarf/midget, so I'm guessing she was just in a generally unhealthy disposition.

It was actually a rather small team as 4 of the 8 people were doctors. After we had worked her back towards a normal sinus rhythm, none of the particpating doctors could intubate her. Nobody could establish her airway at all, they just kept aspirating her stomach. Granted, she was a midget with odd anatomy (almost no neck) and she had a tension pneumothorax causing her treachea to arc, but seasoned ER Doctors should be able to intubate someone in their sleep. None of them could simply do it. None of them used cricoid pressure, and they even had a SCOPE, yet she couldn't be intubated.

After 10 minutes without oxygen, they should have done an emergency Cricoidostomy, which they only mentioned after 30 minutes had passed. In the meantime, he kept saying how there was nothing they could really do for her. I asked why they simply didn't use a pediatric combi-tube, and one of the nurses replied that they couldn't because of her strange anatomy. This made absolutely no sense to me, but I could tell there was going to be no arguing. At that point I talked with the primary care provider (MD) about inducing hypothermia and using K+ channel blockers to reduce the oxygen demand while he tried to establish her airway. He liked the idea, and we implemented it.

So we're slightly over half-an-hour into the code and still have no airway. Her heart occassionally slow to a stop and has to be brought back, but is easily done so with CPR. Despite the lack of oxygen, she's giving one hell of a fight. I was so proud of her. Finally, when it came time to use the cricoidostomy as final resort, the ER MD said that it would be too difficult for him to do and that we'd need to call a trauma surgeon to perform it. That's utter bullshit. I could have performed the "cric" but don't have the scope to legally/medically do so. I was getting irritated inside during this code.

So 45 minutes later she's having trouble keeping her heart going but she's still kicking. The husband arrives on the scene and one of the doctors convinces him to let her go after he refused twice because even though she was alive, she'd probably be brain dead. The worst part was that the consent to cease was given right as the trauma MD walked into the room. I had to contain my irritation. Even though there was a probability of serious damage, she was being so resiliant that a near-full recovery could have been possible. At the very least, she could have been taken off life-support at a later date if that were so. To tell the truth, if he had just established an airway, she would have only needed supportive care. She should have fucking made it, but that ER doctor just reeked of a quiter to me. She was on the ropes, but still very much alive if you ask me.

I felt so awful leaving that code. Not simply because life was lost, or that I felt it was needlessly so, but her husband was a double-amputee (legs) and thus in a wheel-chair. Typically with disabled couples, eachother is all they have. Now this poor guy who probably has had a rough life as it is will forever be alone because the ER Doctor was a fucking quitter, the Endoscopist was incompitent, and the primary care was too timid to make any real decisions. I'm still amazed that he responded to my suggestion.

Way back when I took my first medical lisensure class (EMT-B), my instructor (a seasoned Paramedic) told us that the only way to move past losing patients is if you did everything within your power and ability to save them. I don't think this was done, but with so many doctors around I wasn't really in a position to say much. In the hospital, doctors are law--even when they quit. This is the third time I've seen doctors just not give a shit.

The prestige and title is nice, so is the reliable note-worthy income, but those are merely perks--not the reason you practice medicine. When I'm finally an ER MD, I am not going to quit anybody no matter who they are or why they are there. That is the job, and it's what you do. At the very least I'll then have the authority to tell anybody with a different opinnion about that to get the fuck out of my ER.

Seasonal Affected Disorder (or S.A.D.) is a syndrome that effects about 15-20% of the Western populations examined. It is characterized by depressed mood, lethargy, apathy, passive-aggressiveness, and generalized inactivity. These symptoms are spurred by the transition to and then presence of less sunlight exposure, colder climates, and even holiday season situations. Clearly, this presents in the fall/winter.

I'm not in such a bracket though.

Spring is here, and I'm LOSING MY MIND!!!!

I haven't the slightest clue, but I've finally acknowledged the trend in my life. Spring comes, and I go clinical. My mood is bipolar-manic, my libido out of control, uncontrolled neurosis (usually it's kept in a delicate check), and the insane desire to send all of my belongings to "The Great Beyond" in a glorious display of Arson before skipping town and starting all over. This happens every Spring, among many other questionable attributes that I seem to feel compelled by. Weird, no?

On a better note, I know why I'm going to make an excellent doctor. Yes, I'm brilliant--we've covered that. However, I am a very strong communicator. I was about to start a Dobutomine Echo exam on this guy the other day, and there was A LOT of information missing from his file--incredibly important things that he just didn't care to say previously--nor was asked. I made him feel comfortable, safe, and he trusted me. Which is good, because I would have had to call a Code Blue had he not. This happened at least 3 times throughout my week thus far.

Actually being able to help my patients versus just doing diagnostics really made me feel good too. My day has plummeted to the 6th circle of Hell as it was just beginning, but being able to make an impact set my spirits soaring!

Awwwww....maybe I do have a soul?