| Well... Where oh Where do I start?
Ok... to pick up from the other night when Brad was confused about what he wanted...
He text messaged me the next morning and said it was best if we were friends because he still had feelings for his ex (sounding VERY familiar!). I said, "That's fine... I understand...etc." Then he asks if I want to come over after I get off of work that night, and he would make cookies when he got home. So, I said alright.
I got off of work at 930 and went over to his apt. and hung out with his roommate "Cole" for a few till Brad got home. Well, we got this great idea to punk brad out. So, when Cole talked to Brad he said that I had left upset becuase Cole was naked. So, then Brad calls me and I play along and say yeah that creep walked out of his room stark naked and I was SO uncomfortable etc So I left. And Brad said, "I'm on my way if u want to go back over and wait for me outside." And I hum hoed with him while Cole and his friend Laughed in the background. And I said, "What's it worth to you?" And Brad replies, "I wanted you to come over- but I understand if you dont go back." I told him I would go back but he needed to make sure Cole put clothes on. So, THEN he calls WalksAlot-- who was sittin also on the couch and brad's relaying the story to him (Like he doesn't already know!) Well, I decide to beep brad and I was like Ok, Cole just tried to kiss me-- and Brad called WalksAlot again and was like Oh My Gosh- u wont beleive this etc... and then BRad adds more to what happened and that made us laugh even harder! Well, then Brad gets home and I am locked in his bedroom and Walksalot is in the bathroom and Cole is laying "passed out" on the living room floor and he whispers that none of its true etc... and then the joke was over. IT was funny.
Well, before I ever got off work I was talkingt to a friend from work, Bruce, about Brads and my's situation and how I didn't really like him stringin me along and givin me a key to his apt, and cuddling, etc... Then switchin it all to just being friends. I was gettin serious mixed signals. Bruce was like CONFRONT IT MEGAN! U dont deserve that. So, after the comotion of punkin Brad out I said Hey later i need to talk to you. When Walksalot left and Cole went to bed, Brad and I started talking. And I told him, "Bradley, I like you and if you want to be friends ok... but you cant act one way and say something else. YOu cant have your cake and eat it too etc..." And he was like if we were an Us What would change? I said Nothing. he siad if we were friends what would change? I said THIS. I wouldn't be here right now. So, then we hung around barely talkin in the dark for 2 hrs and he never said anything about it so I got up to left and handed his key back and I said U never said anything so I got my answer- u just want to be friends. And he's like here Tosses me the key and said ur gonna need that. (so then my mind is reeling... what does this mean?) Well, we hear his neighbors laughin and I said Man I wanna have fun... So he picks me up and we are goofin off and laughing and he cuddles up next to me and falls asleep! Well, I had to go home so i got up and grabbed my stuff and walk out and he follws me and we didnt say anything and I left. Well, THEN he texts me and says, "waht was that all about -- u just got up and left" I was mad. I said, "Listen, Bradley... I like you; i want to be with you. If u dont THEN FINE but TELL ME. I waited 2 1/2 hrs for an answer." He said, "I do want to -- bad -- I just can't!" So, then I cried all of the way home.
The Next Day... (yesterday). He said I dont want to lose you in my life. And I explained how frustrated I was with him and he apologized etc... And he told me how much he cares etc. BUT... (I told u there is always a but) it just cant happen right now becuase of other things. Ok, Ok, OK. But you can't have ur cake and eat it too. U cant have the benefits of a girlfriend! So, that's where we are... haha funny thing I was out shoppin and he texts me to go ot his apt and bring him cookies to work. Alright... So I did-- Im such a push over. Well, I did it just because I wanted to see him...  Ugh Im pathetic! So, then i went to Sarah and Brian's house for dinner they are from CHurch. It was a relaly good time-- there were 9 singles from church all there hanging out and it was nice. During the time I was there My mom called 2 times and Brad called 1 time and text messaged me once. I told Brad that I would call him as I left their house. Well, after I left there I called Brad and saw how he was doing and he was ok except for his eye hurt and I woke him up. Well, I apologized to him for being a jerk about the whole thing with the "us" or "friends". I felt bad for not being a better friend. I was putting my own wants before someone else's needs. So, we talked for a little bit, and then he went back to sleep for a nap becuase he was leaving for Columbus. On my way home, I called his roommate to say thanks for being so nice to me the past couple of days. I swear, I have had some of my friends forever and these two guys have been seriously like some of the better friends I have ever had in like the span of 3 days... So, I called Cole and talked to him and he ended up talkin to me about an ex girlfriend and his family. We talked about his friendships and stuff... then my phone died and I called him back to say it was dead and he's like, "I take it you can't talk anymore?" I said, 'No" So he asked me to call him the next night.
So, Today...
My mom made lunch and then her and I went shopping for Easter stuff. We were gone nearly all day. Brad called me from columbus and left me a VM saying that his phone was roaming but he didnt want me to think he forgot about me... (it has been like 15 hrs, noone could forget me that fast!  ) I still thought it was sweet. Well, I text messaged him saying thanks for calling I hope he was having a good time. Brandon called me and told me he was in town for the weekend!!!! I hope that I get to see that Punk head.And then Cole called me just to say hello! Well, I came home and showered and stuff and then I called Sarah to talk to her about some various things going on in my life right now: she is such a huge help sometimes. She may not say a whole lot but she definately makes me laugh while listening. Well, the Bradley calls me to tell me he is running a 102 degree temperature and he has conjunctivitis in both of his eyes... (whoa are u in kindergarten?) Well, Dr. Megan volunteers her prescription pink eye meds for him. Because a month ago i had it! haha. ( I must be in Kindergarten also!) So, he tells me that his phone is still roaming but he wanted me to know he hadn't forgotten about me. (awww) and that he would talk to me tomorrow. I offered to go pick him up and bring him back home and he said, "that's ok... I wouldn't ask you to do that!" Well, duh... that's why I asked you! Well, he said, "ive gotta go but I just wanted to say hi and for u to know I hadnt forgotton about you!" I told him he didn't have to call and he said, "yes I did." <--hmmm. I never asked him to. Say what?! Well, I appreciated it none the less. (and i found my eye drops)
I rememebered that earlier when Cole had called me he had asked me ot call him later. Oops. I forgot. Well, I called him and told him about brad and he said Ooh That sucks. I also told him that if he felt like a good roommate he could wash Brad's sheets that way when he came home he didn't make his eye's worse. Highly doubtful that THAT will happen! Well, I got off of the phone with him.
tomorrow I have to work 1-9 ugh. Kinda Crappy-- but that shift usually goes fairly quickly. And I think after work i Might go put Brad's sheets in the washer so that when he comes home his eyes dont explode... sometiems boys are so stupid! They don't realize things... like if htey dont wash sheets it will get worse... Sheets, towels, blankets... etc. Gross. And Brad did a lot for me this week so i owe him a favor.
Well, Peace out Pals.
M. |
