Magrittely's Xanga

BYE/HI LIA

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 17:51:17 GMT

OMFG, guess what? yeah, I'm going to Germany. And by the time I get back, you'll be back, and than we can hang out and it probably won't be just like old times, and you can tell me all about your stupid experiences in italy (which, remember, is said in a snotty, disdainful voice), even though I'm still mad that you went, because I missed you THAT MUCH. but you knew that, right?

byebyebye. lots to do. or not enough to do. in that stage of panic, stuff to do, nerves

it's a really nice day, almost picture perfect, nice blue sky, perfectly white, fluffy clouds, which sets off the calming green to a great effect...warm, comfortable. I wanted to go rollerblading, but no time!

it's weird, I'm almost looking forward to coming back more than going...It's just cause i've, like, blocked out the time I'll be gone as 'in germany/austria time' but I haven't thought about what it'll be like. I mean, I have, but I still have no idea, so I'll just go, and experience, whereas I know what will happen when I get back, which is comforting. good stuff. things will be different, but not to much. looking forward to leaving it for a couple weeks, and have a couple weeks of stuff to get back to when I get back. I don't know how you could leave for a whole year. god, nothing would be the same. and in a country with a language you didn't speak! I've told you what a freak you are, right?

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 22:53:52 GMT

Today I got up and went to tennis for the Cain Park tournament. I played Jenee (isn't that how you spell it? only with an accent on the 3rd e?) and...I WON! It was fun. I was the underdog, so it was totally fun to win. I won the 1st set, 6-3, and then it was 3-4 in the second set when she said she was feeling like she couldn't breathe and was about to have a heat stroke. So technically it was a default but I did win the 1st set and I was doing well. and if I didn't outplay or outwit, I certainly outlasted.

And then I got my report card. 4 A's, a S, and a B, some as last semester (only last semester the B was in physics, not math.) to get a cumulative 4.27 GPA. pretty good, non? I already knew all of that, but it was still fun to get it.

So my day was good, even though I was going to be sore and sunburned...and then I was feeling bad. I was like, aggh, what is this? I feel like my stomache is kind of bothering me, and my head is kind of heachachy, except that it doesn't hurt, it just niggles like when you're sleepy, only not in a sleepy way. and it was all bothering me unduly much, so that I just wanted to lie down and ignore it all, except that just made it worse, because all I was doing was focusing on the churning and hurting. sooo...

I'm sick again! apparantly I only write in this when I'm sick anymore.

you know what that is? because i'm sick, and I want to complain about it, and I'm sick, so I don't have anything better to do.

This was not a, oh-i-feel-awful sickness like the one before, despite it's start. No, no...it was, I fear, a throwing-up sickness. I threw myself on the bed, writhed in uncomfort for a minute before sensing the call...but not realizing it-or perhaps thinking I could stall it- I was still on the bed when the bright red spew came out of my mouth. I used my hands to hold it, until I could move towards the trash can. I had about three bouts in a row before I got it under control enough to had for the bathroom, to wash up...and, of course, throw up more. it was a minute or two until I was in control enough to shout, "I'm sick!" and clean up.

So that's the only time so far, but if it's the same illness others had, there will be more to come. and there's an ominous rumblin' in my tumblin.

gotta go. going to Tommy's for some reason. probably a bad idea. don't want to hang out bored, here.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Sun, 14 May 2006 20:56:44 GMT

I am sick. sick, sick, sick. As is required when I'm sick, I walk around carrying a box of tissues making agonizing noises and telling people I'm sick, and to pity me. So that's what I'm doing here. I'm not really the stoic type.

Yesterday we had to go to Emily's graduation. about 3 hours of pure dullness. Their speaker was pretty good. I love a good, inspiring speech that tells me to do things that I won't really do but sound really good and I want to do. I think it was Mark Mathabane? He wrote a few books, the most famous one being Kaffir Boy.

And then we went to emily's house and had food. talked. it was alright, some boring, some awkward, but the food was not bad and i wasn't sick than.

And so than, about an hour before we got home in the car, I started feeling bad. unnngh.

I woke up at about 4, though I remember several times where I had to wake up, grab a tissue, blow my nose, and than go back to sleep.

So now I have that sickness where it hurts to swallow, but you reallly need water.

I don't think Mom got much of a mother's day, though. couldn't really tell, though, I slept through much of it.

so now I have to probably do my homework... I just have a couple of poly phil journals...but they can take a while and I'm not sure I'm going to school tomorrow.

I hate life. I'm sick, sick, sick.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Sat, 06 May 2006 03:35:01 GMT

Today was a pretty good day. I am a 'commended student' with a chance on national merit semi-finalist. but that's not going to happen. ah, well. it still made me happy. mrs. blockson just sent me a letter that said, "I have important info for you. come at the beginning of 3rd period." and I was like, hmmm? so that was cool. me, with all those calc BC nerds (Gabby, Ann, and Matt.) and Ben Bloom and Nathan Gibbon. sweet. look at me, I'm smart.

and so then I went to 3rd period to go on to do terrible on my german test. can't win 'em all.

did I say I got into NHS? swizzle, huh. all that complaining for nothing. I guess it really was worth a try.

ark, I was going to volunteer next saturday but we're going to Emily's graduation. how can I be a good person with all this getting in the way? kidding. but it would have been nice, I think kathy and ashlee were going to be there. now I feel guilty. meep.

Oh, In political philosophy we had a speaker. He was amazing. He fuckin' blew my mind. It was just crazy and humbling and imspiring. He was an engineer, and he went to all these third world countries to help with the engineering at hospitals and stuff, he teaches at Duke and he had started this organization, World Health Engineers or something.

Umm, yeah. than I kind of baby-sat this kid for an hour. 10$/hour, pretty good really. but I am so bad with kids. It was kind of bad. but that's alright. oy vey.

oh, I have to fill out my passport stuff tonight and get it all done tomorrow morning. yark.

and then we went to Kim + Kristi's house. we grilled stuff. chicken, salmon, pineapple, mushrooms. they had animal crackers! from Costco. I took some home. oh, and strawberries and ice cream for dessert. mmmm.

it was just a kind of good day for a friday.

Oh, and yesterday, I won the Dorothy Raymond award from the league of woman voters. Mr. Rose made me write the essay. me and Rhonda were the only ones who did it, I'm pretty sure, and they gave it to both of us. I don't mind, it's kind of cool that I won, but I feel kind of guilty about it too. I'm so not what they really were looking for...on the other hand, whatever. It's cool anyways. but I have to go there on tuesday-which is, of course, TV day-I think it's season finale of gilmore girls, scrubs, house, veronica mars (I think the season finale too), law and order SVU...oy vey. and it's not going to be fun. I'm going to have to sit through an hour and a half long meeting so I can get presented an award that I don't deserve, and they're going to 'introduce' me. I hate when they do that. they ask you for all these things about yourself, so you just feel inadequete and stupid when they say all these things...whatever.

erm...yeah. I guess that's it. but today was kind of good, compared to the rest of the week which was all sucky and sleep-deprivy.

okay, that's it. have a nice day.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Mon, 01 May 2006 03:43:57 GMT

Okay, now I have to come down from up off a TV high. oh, TV. you delight me. I won't bore you with the details, because you won't know what I'm talking about. but West Wing, Desperate Housewives, Gray's Anatomy...all so good.

Also, I was all alone in the house. which, of course, means I didn't do anything, but I felt more free to do all of that nothing. I was kind of hyped up by it all.

Plus, I stayed all day in my pajamas. which is kind of exciting by all accounts. It's just...the day doesn't feel real, it doesn't really start until you get dressed and take a shower. So if you don't get dressed, you just live in a kind of, soft, unreal, do-whatever-you-want kind of state. because, you see, if the day never starts, you never have to really do anything until it does. you know, anything hard or school-like.

It was awesome. pajamas are just so ultimately comfortable. they are perfect. some day, in the future, we will all were pajamas, and it will be just as normal as today jeans are and before petticoats and trousers and stuff were before. that is, if the future's any smarter then we are.

Yes...right. I'm serious. you don't have to worry about anything if you're still in pajamas, because the day hasn't started! it's kind of brilliant. so, right. so now it's bedtime, and I'm in my pajamas...but I gotta do a little schoolwork, otherwise...well. nothing would probably happen except a few points perhaps. but I'm still going to do it, because I'm lame like that.

today was a blur of reading, tv, chilling...being in total comfort. I even went outside once. it was beautiful. I almost wished I had done something outside like played tennis, but I was too happy and comfortable inside to care.

Yesterday I woke up at...yeah, 5:30. pm. it was impressive. It was, I believe...13 or so hours of sleep. I tell you, give me a single day and I can screw up my sleep schedule worse than ANYONE. if only that was a useful skill. maybe it college it will be useful. not that I really even have a sleep schedule. Right, so I woke up. and then it was pretty much dinner time (okay, there was a couple hours of which I can't really account for but I'm pretty sure nothing happened) and then we went to Outback Steakhouse. which is awesome. it is delicious.

But, yeah, it was a sucky week. friday was fun, but that was it. just the stupid, normal stuff that somehow prevent me from getting to sleep at a reasonable time (it's my fault, really.)

The seniors who are on project are leaving after this week. :o What are you going to do for yours? I have no idea for mine. meh. I'm just impressed by Jeremy Meckler's dedication to slackitude: He actually, seriously got permission to go camping for a weekend-and since it's a weekend, it fills all the time requirements, and he gets all the rest of it to do whatever he wants. amazing, really.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Sat, 29 Apr 2006 01:55:02 GMT

Man, I am SO excited about Studio 60 on Sunset Drive. It has Aaron Sorkin, Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford...It's going to be awesome. how could it not? though I will be extremely disappointed if it isn't...but it won't! and it amuses me how excited I cna be about something that is nebulous, far (relatively) in the future, and I don't really have any idea if it's any good.

Today afterschool I took a math quiz, went to a key club meeting (I had been meaning to try and get involved in it...I think mr. ernst is adorable. tho, that's not the reason. that's just a side note. I think I'm going to do this Habitat for humanity thing May 13th...I missed the key club elections, tho.) Then I went to the BC calc room. it was fun. talked to gabby and kathy and ashlee and wing. and I convinced wing and ashlee to go to the tennis match with me (against mentor. we lost.) Ashlee and Adam Gilbert are a couple!!! Oh my god! It's strange/hilarious/normal to me. I don't know anything about adam, but he's always seemed dull, a bit personalityless...but that's possible because I don't know him at all. I'm sure people could say that about me...it's almost true, too. but whatever. so that is weird and crazy! but he can't go to the prom with her because his father doesn't want him too! His father thinks he shouldn't have a girlfriend until college. how crazy and whack is that? yeah, right. So then we went to donatos. and then went back to the calc room. by the time I got home, it was like, 8 o'clock. it was fun. Wing and Eckert had gotten tadpoles from mrs. Calo, after they used them in an experiment. (Wing had ten, named: James, Sam, Alex (boy), Alex (girl), Maria, Sara, Isabelle, Toga, Mark...and the last one was unnamed.) The calc room was fun...uh oh, I'm in danger of become one of those nerds who hangs out in the calc room all day. eh, not likely.

umm...all right, I have to go watch numb3rs. I'm surprisingly addicted to it. it's not great, but it keeps my attention. plus, I don't have anything going on on Fridays.

Back, I need a place to record quotations in case I need them later.

"I have a minor grudge against a God who created people who are so easily hypnotized by rhymes."

"Kubler-Ross tended to underestimate the "punch-drunk-giggly" stage of grief."

in case i want to revisit: http://slacktivist.typepad.com/slacktivist/2004/11/who_made_steve.html

"But, giving up is fun. And think of the time you save! If more people gave up, we'd have fewer wars."

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 20:28:13 GMT

I cried over spilled milk today.

literally.

God, it made me so mad. every single piece of clothing I had got stained brown (it was chocolate milk) evey single piece, except my socks. it was infuriating. and it got ALL over the couch cushion, which is why you shouldn't eat in the living room. Then I was so angry it made me irrational, except I wasn't angry enough to ignore the fact that I was irrational, so then I was mad and irrational and mad about being irrational...it's a vicious cycle. It's just so wrong...all new, clean clothes, the other ones being stained brown, you don't even know if they can be recovered...I haven't told my mom, maybe I should to see if they can be rescued but I don't want to. *Sigh* gotdamnit.

the comics were funny today though. though B.C is the worst comic EVER. it's just that, I think family circus and marmaduke are aware of their failings; they know they are strictly 3-year-old humor, that they aren't that clever or interesting, but I do think B.C does consider itself an actual comic. but it massacres humor. and it's all religious and preachy and right-wing and not even ever funny, even when it isn't being religious and preachy and right-wing.

ummm...I know I had other things to say but that was it for now. I was just really, really mad about the milk thing. You don't even know. so I had to tell someone. even though it's stupid, it was enraging, and I could tell Barb, but she'd just be mad I spilled on the couch, and I couldn't tell anyone else, because it's just to insignificant to go, "Hello! I was just calling to tell you about this tragic couch/milk (chocolate milk, mind you) accident."

Friday, March 31, 2006

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 02:08:56 GMT

I've been up for 30 hours. since four in the afternoon yesterday.

I'm not that tired. yeah, I'm tired. but I'm not, like, 30-hours tired. I'm runnin' on something and I'm not sure what. and it made me grumpy and not want to do anything today (well, I was going to play tennis with chris, because it was a nice day, and all, but he bailed, and then it was too much trouble to go to oakwood or something.) I mean, I can tell I'm grumpy. but no more then, say, on a friday. you know, the five days of not getting enough sleep really get to you. It's weird. I was reading, mercedes lackey, and then it was 6! and the birds started chirping, and the light went bright, so I couldn't sleep, and so I pulled an all nighter. went driving. that pretty much sucked. driving sucks.

other then that...mom came back. paced a lot. you know, nervous, tired energy. not wanting to settle down and do anything, not being interested in anything. watched the episode of house we taped, and then how to lose a guy in ten days. pretty disappointing. I don't mind formulaic, but I just wnat it to be funny, at the very least. and at best, witty and original. three to tango was good. funny, cute, silly. what is it with romance comedies and going on stage and telling everyone personal problems/things? I decided against seeing murderball. looked too weird, kinda boring/intense for me. oh, and I started reading terry pratchett. it's interesting. so very allagorical, I enjoy that. because it's not pushy about it, but it's fairly obvious. and it makes you think. and it's pretty cool. and it's about Nomes who live in a giant store, so, bonus points for that. anyways, I want to go to borders. get a few books. then the library. I enjoy mercedes lackey, she is always, no matter what else, very readable. she has a sense of progression that you just get tied up into, even if it's like, a murder mystery wher eyou know both sides, it's still a good read. not fun, I reserve fun for funny books, because then you are aware of reading it and it's hilarious and enjoyable. a good read absorbs you, you don't get any real thrills out of it, it's just interesting, you read because you want to know what happens next and you don't think about reading, you just do.

okay, a couple of hours of mindless tv, a piece of pie, and off to bed! the whole point of this was to basically impress you with my hours w/o sleep. I dunno, I'm impressed. you couldn't do it; I bet you're in bed by ten.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:53:38 GMT

quotes:

Who is Andy Card? If the administration was a boy band, he'd be the vaguely likable one.

And, let's not give Canadians a pass. They're very dangerous. And I'll tell you why. They look and sound just like us. Very difficult. They're like us, but nicer. I don't care for it.

went to a womens basketball game. learned that the three co-ed college NCAA sports are skiing, fencing, and rifle. sports are pretty boring though. what it is that makes sports universally interesting to all guys? I don't understand it. like, it's some kind of gene that comes with the y chromosome...loving to watch sports. it's weird.

Oh, I went to the spelling bee last tuesday. it was fun. spelling bees are cool. I went all by myself. it was fun anyways, though. I had to write all my comments down, to myself. its awright tho. Kal zucker is a cool person. funny, nice. he's the kind of person I'd want to marry. your mom was there, I think filling in for someone? there is a surprising energy about the spelling bee, in the beginning. it's kind of crazy and hilarious. there were five teams left, and everyone got it wrong but the one team (they got 'jiggity' as their word, which is just not right, because that was way easier then the other four.) so my mom and her team got 2nd, but with four other teams. they had middle-school cheerleaders during the breaks in the rounds. such an awful idea. middle-school cheerleaders are SO bad anyways. it's kind of painful.

okay, that's it. break is boring. I want to call people up and do stuff, I don't. it's so much easier to lie in bed, warm, unmoving, thinking, doing nothing. it's so easy and comfortable to, literally, not do anything. and I'm not good with the phone. my dad is soo annoying. he needs a job. unfortunately I don't think he shares that view.

you know what? craig ferguson is funny. I was skeptical, but I was watching last night and he was good. better then conan, though I'm known to have a grudge against conan. I enjoy self-deprecating humor, but his is just juvenile and so self-deprecating that it's, like, self-serving. but I actualyl like craig ferguson, now that I"v egiven him a chance. I mean, on the drew carey show, he was very ennhh. kind of a weird character, not that funny. but I realize I dont' really like the drew carey show, which makes it odd how many episodes of seen. blame it on it being on late at night. he had on jane kaczmarek, who is married to bradley whitford. they're a great couple-it's so cute to see a good hollywood marriage. and she mentioned her charity, clothesoffourback.org. it's kind of fun to see what clothing worn by celebrities you could have. unfortunately, the only one I was even remotely tempted by was Jon Stewart's academy award tuxedo. which, I realize, is silly, because even if I could pull off the tuxedo thing, it's so not in my size. and where would I wear it to? and it's pretty expensive, really. but still. It's one of the reasons I'd rather be a guy. dressing is so much easier! pants, a shirt. a nice pair of pants, a nice shirt if you're being well-dressed. if you're going really fancy, suit or tuxedo. and almost all guys look good, or better, at least, in a suit or tuxedo. unlike if you're a girl, the choices for dresses are almost endless, very uncomfortable (the shoes, at least.) and if you make a bad choice, you're vilified. there really is no male worst dressed. like, in entertainment weekly, all they had was bow-tie comparison, who had the right sized bowtie (George Clooney, BTW.) All I'm sayin', is, that's it easier. Anyways, all the dresses I know, even if they are pretty, which is not a certainty by any means, I could never ever pull off. still, it's fun. plus, you'd have to be pretty rich to start worrying about buying anything there. but occasionally you'll spot something relatively cheap and go, ohh! and then you're like, oh, wait, that's useless to me, and I don't even know who that person is.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 02:44:21 GMT

^ Oh no! Pat Robertson is onto us! Dammit!

Quotes:

I'll do to you what B.C. does to comedy every day!

When I'm done with you, you'll hate me as much as the vowels hate Y.

From family guy, they are stewie quotes to his arch-nemesis, Bertram. who had a really distinct voice that after I looked I think was the male teacher from clueless that they hooked up with the other teacher. I just rewatched clueless. good movie! stewie is pretty awesome. totally the best character on the show.

Oh, and how dragon will do this thing where he will do what you did, only mocking and exaggerated, and then kind of laugh, like it's funny, instead of really cruel. today dragon said something like, "are you listening? are you ignoring me?" which is how I know I'm getting to him. which is hilarious. coaches hate it when it seems like you're not paying attention to them. all coaches are kind of self-impressed, and it really annoys them when I don't seem like I'm paying attention. not many of my coaches like me. lol. I figure, I'll listen to what you have to say, whatever, but I don't have to act like I'm interested, because I'm so not, and so whatever. i'm not going to look like I worship at your alter, or something. it's just my little rebellion. plus, it so annoys them. and it's so easy. that's kind of awesome. coaches are pricks. oh, and I hate how dragon will always ask you, like, "do you feel better about your power now?" or, "was that effective for you?" and it forces you to say yes! so it's a stupid question, but you have to say yes, even if you don't think so. because if you say no, it's like, way offensive, and then you have to say why, which is usually just like, because it was a 30-minute drill and I didn't change, but I'd like to hit you in the face.

Oh, it was me and these two pre-adolescent boys. rob's son, actually, and zach. zach is such a zach-cute, round-faced, chubby, obnoxious. but they were both really annoying, in little-kid way. like, singing silly songs and laughing, or being hysterical for no good reason. it was simultaneously insanely, insanely annoying and it made me a bit jealous, too. how they were able to collapse into fits of laughter over a stupid song or this other stupid stuff, and having all these private jokes, over really stupid things, and thinking it's all hilarious. I miss that. being a little kid was great. now I find all little kids so annoying. children annoy me. oy vey. I don't even particularly like my nephews. sure, they're really cute. and I mean, I do like them. but even when they are being cute and adorable and happy and playful they have a statue of limitations of like, half-an-hour before I'm kind of sick of them. I'm not really a people person at all. Rob has mad people skills, which I'm so jealous of.

I don't think I like Neil Gaiman. He's quite popular nowadays, and I thought I'd try him, but he's freakin' me out. at least his short stories are. maybe his novel will be better. I'll try that, and if it doesn't work out, I'll give up on him. but his short stories are freaky and gross and confusing, and it'll have all these things in it, that you're sure have some kind of deeper meaning or point to it, but I'll be damned if I can figure it out. They are so strange. some are really original, but they're all so strange. and disturbing. and confusing. and I just don't. get. it.

so, terry pratchett is up next. that oughta be interesting. I hope good, and not all fancy like neil gaiman. pfft. I want to go the library again though. ooh, I discoved david levithan, who I really like. I read a short story of his, it was really awesome. I mean, short stories are rarely really that good. they're okay, but usually they feel unfinished or they are just stupid or useless; few are really very good. but his was awesome. I want to read boy meets boy by him.

we're getting mork and mindy season 1 from netflix. It oughta be interesting. I dunno, I've never been able to really enjoy a show that was from a different era. I dunno why, because the quality requirement was lower, or because I don't get the cultural things, or what, but we'll see. my mom really loved that show, apparantly.