I have done this in a million years....
Mostly because I have nothing good to write about

But I will tell how the past 3 years have been a mistake. One huge disaster...you know it almost feels like a dream, no a nightmare, and someone needs to wake me up. Moving to Virginia was by far the worst possible decision I could of ever made.. but wait.. then I think about what happened in November... and if I didn't take the punches.. who would of? David?.. Would Richard have gotten it a lot worse than he did. I hate them. I hate what they did to me.. and I hate what they did to us. You know me... I used to be all smiles... not anymore.. I've become so much more bitter at the world and life.. and maybe even God.. people fucking talk about how..the things that don't kill you only make you stronger.. and that in itself is a load of shit. I'm not strong.. I'm cold inside with a heart that has no compassion.. And Kevin and I......god I don't even know where to start with that situation..... I don't know maybe its my fault.....maybe if I hadn't stopped talking to him...I mean.. we would talk but I wouldn't tell him how I was really feeling or thinking.. mainly because I didn't want to burden him with my fucked up life... lesson learned..

Things are bad right now..
Things have been so bad for so long I feel like I'm lost in this downward sprial.... only it keeps going... you know.. people say.. once you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up... well I haven't hit it yet.. and the world keeps shitting on me.. so thank you to the universe I say... and bring it on...I'll be waiting..

I'm never getting online again...

And ... where in the fuck did these crazy letters come from......