MamaKel's Xanga

Hey guys....remember me?

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 03:05:14 GMT

Well, over a year has passed and it’s been an eventful one.

Hard, Strange, Amazing, Scary, Funny, Sad, Happy, Exciting….you name it…..It’s been everything but boring.

Kenny is 15 months old and some change. He is the easiest part of life. The provider of J-O-Y for his dad and myself.

I bought a store in July. I like it there. It’s been a real journey and I’ve learned a lot and I hope I’m there for years to come. (Spool.)

Andrew and I broke up in August, it was very difficult, but very necessary and now we’re past the worst of it and working as a team. I know that we both have Kenny’s best interest at heart. I’m glad he’s Kenny’s dad, and I’m glad he’s not my boyfriend. Sharing a child is tough…I think that on the maternal side of things, it’s maybe more distressing. Even though I only have to miss him 2 nights a week, I struggle to feel comfortable in my skin when I’m away from him. Missing your baby feels really unnatural.

Can’t think of anything else to say. I put all the good dirt in a paper journal now.

That’s all Folks.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 23:08:39 GMT

Long time, no blog.
It's a shame that I don't have a computer, because I wish I were better documenting these times. I've written Kenny a few letters for the baby book. But that's for him, not for me.

Things are good. Last Wednesday we had our first baby play date with Corrie's (Tiger) and Lisa's (Desi). It was interesting to be around some other Hipster Mom's. It was a pleasure to have two other gals in the room, whipping out their boobs to feed their babes, and it was fun to talk to them about current baby and mom progress.

He's two months old. Which is wild to think about. They sure don't stay little for long. Lately he's been smiling alllllll the time, oohing and aahing, and sleeping for 6-7 hours a row at night. (God Bless Him). And the most recent mindblower was watching him push himself up from the belly position with his arms. Homeboy's advanced.

I'm enjoying "having-a-son-hood". Although I still don't look in the mirror and see a "mom", I definitely look at Kenny and know that he's mine.

Andrew is a world class Dad. He's just enamored with our baby and it's pretty amazing to watch. Right now he's curled up with the baby on my mom's couch. Pretty Heart-Warming. Whodathunkit?

And to the nursing and ex-nursing moms who might read this. Question: I'm dealing with a gassy little guy. He has (very painful seeming) gas. I was just recommended Chamomile Tea from my brother-in-law's mom, and I'm feeling edgy. I have a good feeling about it, I prefer that idea to over-the-counter gas drops. And Rosa's very good with home-remedies, so I trust her more than Walgreens. It's just that feeling of: "I have only given this baby breast milk so far....and I just want to make sure it's alright."

So that's today's dilemma.

I am also getting the itch to work. I miss having "Me Time", and I have a strong urge to be in public, talking to strangers again. Hopefully I can mentally withstand being an at-home-mom until July, when Robin is opening another coffee shop (with a full bar!) in Crossroads. We'll just have to see.

And here he is....if I can learn how to post pictures.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 22:39:19 GMT

Where to start....
Well, I had a baby.

Two weeks ago. December 2nd at 3:16AM. 7lbs 6oz. He went pretty easy on me as far as the labor story goes and when he arrived he was perfect. He latched on for a 40 minute feed within the first hour after his birth, and he's been eating, sleeping, and pooping like a champ ever since.

The whole process was just too big to try and describe, but I will say this. You spend all this time being told that you don't even know what love is until you have a child, and that there's this huge rush of emotion, and change of perspective...and I'm not saying that's not true. But for me, the moment I met him was the farthest thing from a rush of emotions that I can imagine. I just felt really comfortable, and really normal and I can't really remember what it was like before he was here.

It was just sort of like...Hey Man, thanks for coming.

He's a wonderful baby, and a huge joy to Andrew and myself and right now we're at my mom's and he's sleeping on his Uncle Carlos' chest like a damn angel.

Life's pretty good.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 01:10:11 GMT

Ode to my neglected out of town friends....
Becky.
Laura B.
Nick Ryan.

It's been wayyyy too long.

But I can explain!

In my new house, I don't get cell phone service about 50 percent of the time. I'm also scared to go over minutes, because my motherish-in-lawish will pay the overage charges without telling me and that drives me nuts. She is incredibly thoughtful and kind to the point where I have to tell her to stop. (She asked me what preference I had for lightbulb wattage and was really distressed once because in my ceiling fan, there were no more frosted bulbs, so clear ones had to go in there with frosted ones. Lady...you're a sweatheart. Know this...I will never ever notice. My question to you peers is this....

have you ever given a thought to lightbulb wattage?)

Anypoop, Here's an update....and I intend to call all of you this week. But Nick, I'm gonna need your number again, unless your cell phone is back on.

I'm due next Friday. And that's weird. This whole thing has flown by, and maybe because I've kept very busy...but I don't know.

So due November 24th...but I feel like I might go longer. The baby's head has dropped and he weighs about 6-7 lbs (which is good!) but I'm not dilated at all. A month ago, I was uncomfortable and sore, because he was resting on a very touchy nerve and I was in a lot of pain. Now that his head has dropped, I'm quite comfortable and I have tons of energy and I get a lot done.

I'm in no rush to have the baby, but I feel as ready as I'll ever feel, and pretty relaxed about the whole thing. So when it happens, it will happen, and you will be contacted ASAP.

Andrew's mom gave me her car. It's a 98 Subaru. On Tuesdays and Thursdays Andrew works late, so I pick up my mom from work, and we eat dinner together and I watch cable and sit on the Internerd. Tonight, Dad sprung for Chinese. I enjoy the car-time with my mom the most.

Day-to-day, I do this housewife thing for the time being, and I'm pretty good at it, but mostly because I'm used to working full-time, so sitting around all fucking day would make me crazy.

I wake up early, I cook two decent meals a day. I feed my boyfriend those two meals. Then I spend the day with the cat, and Percy. And I clean and paint and do laundry and write letters to my grandma. When Andrew gets home, we eat dinner, watch Seinfeld and King of The Hill and then we usually read library books on different couches for an hour or so.

Sometimes I make milkshakes in my blender, sometimes he has beers and makes me listen to records. He's old, so there are some good eras that I missed, that he caught. I can school him on The Band, Old Soul, and anything current and not local (minus the trivia...about which I still don't care). I like almost everything he plays but I wish he didn't revel in the personal lives of arrogant, train-wreck rock stars. The more I know about how full of shit everyone gets when they're famous, the less I can enjoy their music.

This rings especially true for John Lennon, though I would never tell Andrew that, because it would make him sad that I felt that way. Seriously though....There's nothing worse than a talented man's ego. Feel blessed by your talents, not empowered and driven to windbaggy guru-ness.

I go to bed late, I wake up early. I pee 10-15 times during the already short bedtime and every single time, it makes me really happy to walk through my kitchen to the bathroom. The kitchen in this house is amazing.

Percy and the cat are learning to live with each other. Though everytime I call Percy a good girl, I can tell she's thinking "When will you consider me good enough to let me eat that cat in there?"

Although I would never tell Andrew that either.

Inquiring minds have left messages about my address. And I have something to mail to Laura Braun and I need her address to do so.

Here's my address and goodnight.

Kelly Ann Allen
614 Northrup
Kansas City, KS 66101

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:36:58 GMT

Nesting like a Mo-Fo.....
Well, still no baby.

It's almost scary how relaxed I feel lately about this whole thing. Tonight, my mom had to remind me that I'm due next week, because I kept saying, "I mean...in a few weeks...." in regards to the baby.

I feel lucky, I know a lot of people who were really uncomfortable at this point in pregnancy, and counting the minutes. My sister was usually sneaking tablespoons of caster oil, trying ot induce labor by now. I feel fine. Yesterday I painted my bathroom. Green.

Last night I went to Regina Spektor with Peggy and it was nice, though I'm really conversationally lazy. I hate talking to people. Andrew went out too, had some drinks with Bill Cave at the Stagecoach. I wound up having contractions during the whole Regina Spektor set, and I kept thinking..."Hmmmm. These contractions are about two minutes apart, I wonder if I should do something soon....." But somehow I just knew it wasn't anything. So I stayed for most of the encore, drove Peggy home, got some milk, (the expiration date was my due date. This baby's occupation of my womb has the same shelf life as my milk) made some macaroni and waited for Andrew to come home.

He rushed home when I told him I'd been having contractions...even though I stressed that nothing was gonna happen last night. And when he got home, he thought it was really really clever to blast the Jeff Buckley version of "I Shall Be Released" while I was trying to read. Dork.

This morning we slept in late, much to Percy Dog's dismay and when we woke up we made a 5-star breakfast (Weekend Breakfast on Tuesday) and I saw him off to work. It still feels weird not to work, but I'm keeping extremely busy with this house. That feels even more foreign and weird. It will be a damn shame when this nesting thing goes away...I'm the most productive woman in the world.

The conclusion is, I like my life right now. I know it's about to drastically change and all. But I get the feeling that I've laid a really good foundation to deal with the things coming up. And now, my mom and I are going to the library.

Strawberry Hill Forever.

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 01:56:06 GMT

Sometimes I bid on something on EBay and I'm just so EXCITED!

Today we moved a bunch of shit into the new house. Our Landlord is a slack-assed-idiot. No big deal though, my typical Tenant/Landlord relationship is pretty detached once my initial needs are met.

Get the place up to my standards before I move in, and then we'll go our separate ways, thanks. The conclusion is, that he has no business renting property. Obviously he bought this house as a starter home, moved out, and really needs to sell it because he's a retard when it comes to general upkeep.

It's a great place, he just needs to clear out the last tenant's mess and we'll be totally square.

He also shouldn't drop the F Bomb in front of my Mom, while she's scrubbing HIS floor. Respect dude, respect.

Oh well, Andrew and I both found ourselves pretty giddy today, thinking about being all moved in Wednesday and together FINALLY!

He makes me really happy and I'm ready to be settled.

Ouch. Contraction.

I'm goin to bed.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 15:26:35 GMT

All those in favor......
Hi. I'd just like to nominate myself for Baby-Sitter of the year.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant and every weekday I wake up at 4:45AM and go to my sister's so that she can go to work driving a school bus.

I get her 8-year-old son and 5-year-old girl fed, and ready for school each morning. (For those of you who haven't met Danielle, I'd like to inform you that her hair extends a little past her butt, is extremely thick and she's very tender-headed). *Sidenote: I've never made her cry. I'm a very gentle (but swift) hair-brusher.

All the while I chase one of the most lovable (but busy!) two-year-olds I've ever met, around the house. She is very...........energetic.

Last week I successfully potty trained the two-year-old in about one and a half days because I'm friggin awesome.

Andrew and I are moving in two weeks, and then Kasey has to find other morning arrangements until i'm up for it again. Her and I are both bummed. I'm gonna miss my routine.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 20:16:29 GMT

Too much to do
There's really no way to prepare for motherhood. I get it.

But moving, painting, fixing up a new place, AND trying to prepare for motherhood....on a very limited budget?

Dude.

Andrew and I signed our lease at the new place. We'll move in November 1st, as long as the landlord fixes my little list of "Landlord To-Do's". If he does NOT we'll pro-rate the rent and pay for only the days that I deem the house "habitable". And I'm one picky, pregnant lady. We like our landlord, he's a total "dude". He says "fuckin" the way that lots of people say like, or uh, or um.

He was sort of a Fuckiiiiinnnnnnn.....tool. He's a good guy though. We'll probably wind up buying this house from him for very very cheap. I feel good about that.

KCK. Didn't expect to make that change, but it will make taxes much kinder for us now that Andrew works in Kansas.

Well, I don't hear Jasmine. Never a good sign. It means she's doing something really sneaky that she shouldn't.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:46:56 GMT

Babies on tap...
Nikki and I are nearing our big days. It's very much an erie feeling, knowing that out of the blue, I'm gonna turn into a mom overnight. Crazy.

Well, a week ago, I was telling everyone that I'd just as soon be pregnant for an extra month or so because I didn't feel ready to be a mom. Now that I have shooting back pains all day long, I'm singing a different tune. I'm still in no huge rush to pop this little guy out....but I sure don't wanna be pregnant forever. This must be why the last month of pregnancy is so fucking unbearable...to get rid of cold feet!

Speaking of the big day, tonight I'm going to pack my "Hospital Suitcase". Anybody got any tips on stuff I should stick in there that I might not think of? I'm planning on packing typical toiletries (contact stuff, toothbrush, toothpaste), clean undies, a robe, some PJ's, comfy clothes for exit day, crossword puzzle book, camera, a comfy quilt, loaded pregnancy teabags, breast feeding equipment, a couple sleepers for the baby, my birthplan and important phone numbers. I'll also have a bag packed for the baby that Andrew can bring up on the day we take the baby home, along with the carseat.

I think that's about everything I'd had in mind. Rhiannon? Lisette? I'm lookin at you two for tips.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 19:33:01 GMT

Eventful Tuesdays
I woke up at 3AM last night and couldn't get back to sleep because of what an exciting day it was.

Andrew started his new job. I wish I could have seen him off in the morning with some oatmeal and coffee, but there will be plenty of time for that later.

I found myself in the hospital due to this unrelenting back pain yesterday. (Which is why I didn't call you on your birthday N.R., I intend to call as soon as Jasmine falls asleep upstairs.) Since Sunday the pain has been pretty crippling. It periodically shoots from my lower back, down my right leg, and it's very intense, so my leg gives out whenever it happens. I called the nurseline at the hospital and they told me to come up to labor and delivery. I was pretty certain that I wasn't in labor, but I went anyway.

My sister was hilarious and frantic. You'd think that since she's been through this three times, I'd be the scared one. But I just kept telling her that it was no big deal, that there was "no way I would have the baby today. It's Andrew's first damn day at the new job". So after being seen I found out that the baby is resting on my sciatic nerve, which runs from my lower back down my leg (Ah-ha!). The good news is, there's nothing wrong with the baby, or the Kelly. And that's a real relief. The bad news is, there's nothing I can do but tough out the pain, so it looks like it's 6-8 more weeks of this.

Oh well, I just hope I don't fall down any stairs or anything.

And now for the exciting news. Andrew and I found a fucking house! Strawberry Hill, little cottage house. It's just exactly what we needed. It's definitely not sprawling or anything, but it will be easy to heat and cool. The kitchen is amazing, it has a fenced in yard for the dog and a garage (potential practice space for Andrew). A basement with in-house laundry (plenty of storage room for Kelly's insane closet needs) and a (very small) extra bedroom upstairs for the baby.

We both just felt good about it right away. There's a cute front porch, and a back deck. Roses growing in the front yard. And it's located smack in the middle of the neighborhood we wanted. I can hardly fucking sit still I'm so excited. I just didn't know if that part of our life was going to come together in time for the baby. Now we'll be under the same roof starting November 1st, with Percy Dog and a good amount of space for our little fam. And the first property we looked at! What are the odds?!

I have to say, if it weren't for the cash we took home from the baby shower Saturday, we wouldn't be able to pay off our bills or pull off the deposit and first months rent by November. Our friends really came through and we're just really blessed. Thank you thank you thank you.

Now I'm going to make the finishing touches on my birthplan, call Nick Ryan, and take a nap.