aw thnx :)

<3 samie

im srry for keep stealing the chair

colleen. {} i have better things to deal w/right now than all this drama. hell yea i read every single thing said. i find it funny how you treat ppl like dirt and expect everything to be resolved. for once i dont care. i have other things to worry about that will take preference. yes this whole situation made me cry, yes it made me cuss, yes it made me scream. but maybe what made it worse was how it was dealt w/after things were put out in the open.

you put things that i would think are personal out in the open yet you dont even want to confront it until the other person does. i find it disguisting how you dealt w/the way khushbu was trying to confront the situation. im sorri to put it that way but i do. my father was sick and coughing while all the stuff last night was going on. I was also trying to finish my homework and get some college stuff done. you know. things that will have a true impact on my future.

but dont get me wrong. friendship is super important to me, but all this junior yr i was super worried about that. (i used super twice lol) I let it get in the way of my dreams, aspirations, goals, and academic performance. i messed up A LOT this yr... well last yr... our junior yr. for once in my life, i am going to do what i want to do this summer. and im going to do it right. i will accomplish the goals i set for myself. and i will learn to be myself. an individual. not always following one of you guys around (which i tend to do a lot cuz i get scared and worried and blah ::sigh::)

so colleen... explain to me. you state that "infact u acted like nothin was goin on*and thats f*ed up*.*" CANT I SAY THE EXACT SAME THING PERTAINING TO YOU???!!! i dont understand where you are coming from. honestly. while khushbu and kelsey came straight out w/it... i was hoping maybe you guys would say something, considering hey it was you guys that wrote posts pertaining to the situation. im not exactly sure of the motives of your posts but thats not what really concerns me. its the fact that im on right now and i see sarah on yet no IM. i have been trying to talk to you guys for the past lets say month. and everytime i try.the same thing. we DO NOT talk. its strained. weak. 

i am NOT worrying myself w/all of this anymore. i make myself sick worrying. and that doesnt feel good. doesnt feel good at all at all at all.

sigh great. now i only have 1/2 hr to finish my hw here cuz ive been writing this. but i mean dont get me wrong. this was worth doing. but then again im "f*ed up" so you tell me if it was worth it. FYI this was all written strate... no deleting no erasing no fixing up. take it how you want it. laugh at it for all i care. im done. thru.

o and btw i was serious last night when i asked you taht ?... no sarcasm at all. im tired of assuming. if i dont hear it from the person anymore, its nto worth remembering. and the "tty whenever" thing really did mean that b/c i wasnt sure if i would have time while here to talk. so yea. ummmm. yea. didnt want you to. ok nvm. think w/e u want. im tired of explaining myself. assume w/e. i have 2 go.

i guess we are both guilty of the charge of acting like nothing was going on. well at least i will say that i knew. i know im being repetitive now but ill also say that it takes 2 to create a situation as well as deal w/it.

omg now i only have 15 mins. and i will say this. the way you were talking to kelsey last night. that was just wrong. period. and i am not sorri to say it was completely disgusting and abominable at the same time.

~nirvana~

well figuring wut happened w/u last nite, i dindt exactly think u wanted to talk to me

hmm..well i just want to say i hope everything resolves, and that you all can figure out wahts going on, bc i persoanlly do want to have a bunch of broken relationships btwn you all during badminton...

llol now that i reread it. it sounds selfish of me bc i want eveyrhting to be perfect whe im there, but i gues sin teh long run itll also benefit you guys...

but in any event, i kno its not my business, but if any of you need to talk...im pply always online anyways :)

sorri guys if im the Bitch of the World and i cause all Evil..but i didnt want to tell ppl what i felt was goin on online..and for everyone who thinks im disguisting and that i handled amis convo badly..i talked to her on the phone and she said that she knew i was being sarcastic and eventho she really wanted to figure out whats wrong she understood y i didnt want to tell her online and that id rather tell everyone together in person so everyone got the same story..

I just sort of agree with Phi, I really hope yall stay in it for the long haul because lifelong friends are hard to find, lol and I dont want broken friendships in badminton either, lol

I just sort of agree with Phi, I really hope yall stay in it for the long haul because lifelong friends are hard to find, lol and I dont want broken friendships in badminton either, lol

hey hey colleen,

im glad things are better btw us and just wanted to let ya noe i luvs ya much.  hope the rest gets worked out.  luvs to ya and again dont worry.

Khush,  

hmm.. ups n downs ppl.. ups n downs..