Pranks, pranks, pranks...

I must admit that it is not from a lack of pranks but rather from such an abundance of pranks that I haven't had time to cover all of them. Let me recap a few.

there was the birds in C-Dub middle east.

the fish and cool-aid in Hotchkiss lower men.

The Hotchkiss ping pong and foosball tables appearing in the C-Dub lounge.

And more recently

The mysterious disappearance of the Chapel podium.  Some might remember Dr. MacArthur's request in Chapel to have it returned.  It seems that a Sunday night not long before Spring Break chapel media was setting up for Mondays chapel and the podium was still there.  After they left and locked the building about half an hour longer security makes their rounds and checks to make sure all the doors are locked.  The next morning when the gym was opened the podium was gone with a sign in its place saying that the podium would be returned.  The whole of campus was combed and the podium was not to be found.  Every chapel when we see the old brown podium it is a reminder that the chapel podium is still out there and someone is still guilty of this terrible crime. 

On April First the Hotchkiss women were also struck by a prank.  Sometime in the afternoon all the shower curtains disappeared and a message was left on every bathroom mirror reading "April Fools- Slight, men of Might".  The questions still remained open "who really did this prank?".  The Women's RD was consulted and is sure that no men were in Hotchkiss that Sunday Afternoon.  Either the men have become vastly more clever or some sneaky girls are the culprits here.  It has been reported that most of the curtains were found in hidden locations in Hotchkiss but nothing as to identify the thiefs were found. 

It seems that I may have forgotten some very important pranks right now, but I will add them as I remember them-I also cannot be everywhere at once.  Thanks for the reminders that I was slacking off and not informing the world of what is truly going on at the Master's Campus. 

Spring, when a young mans thoughts turn to...Opium??

A rather large travesty has taken place on the Masters campus, unbeknown to most people.  Less than two days ago as I was leisurely strolling by the student center, my eye was drawn  towards the bookstore window, and there in clear writing was the word "OPIUM",  I was shocked and drew nearer for a closer look.  Unfortunately I was not mistaken or seeing figments of my imagination.  Knowing that the Masters College probably wouldn't be trying to promote drugs on campus I drew the next best conclusion: it was an innocent mistake.  It seems that the book store places some textbooks in the window and then labels them for a class with a sticky note.  It seems that the code for Intro to Music and Art is MU190, the marker bled through the paper and when read from the other side of the window reads opium.  You might be wondering what course of action should then be taken.  Before you grab your picket signs and hand grenades, I would suggest a tactful suggestion to a bookstore worker.  Hopefully this will be taken care of before the Mondays at Masters students are appalled and flee in disgust.  We must hope, and be strong, knowing that the Lord's will shall be done, even if the school is shut down from lack of funds, from students who decide not to come all because of one little stick it note.

Currently Reading Think Biblically!: Recovering a Christian Worldview By J. A. Hughes see related

 Mistletoe?  At Masters????

            After about a week’s residence in a C-Dub doorway, the mistletoe has suddenly disappeared.  No one is quite sure of its origin, but it has been rumored that the mistletoe first appeared in an effort to improve the popularity of the dorm.  But with it came many unsuspected consequences.  It appears that many desperate individuals began standing in the doorway for long extended periods of time, which caused serious trafficking issues for the dorm.  When they requested security to post a crossing guard in the doorway, it seems to have come under school scrutiny that mistletoe is possibly unbiblical.  After severe debate (it seems that McArthur forgot to mention mistletoe in his book Think Biblically, actually, he forgets to mention it in any of his books to be correct) it was decided that mistletoe promoted ungodly behavior and laziness.  It seems that so many students were spending time in the doorway (in hopes of meeting their true love) that many were forgetting to study for finals.  With grades dropping severely, students losing their academic scholarships, and students leaving because of inadequate funds, the school decided it would have to shut down if the mistletoe was left intact.  So we must bid it a hasty goodbye, and remember fondly the week of the mistletoe. 

Naked: What do you drink?

The Master's dress code and Naked fruit drinks have come to clash in an epic battle.  It seems that the fruit drinks explicit name has caused confusion over the mission of the school.  Distressed students have threatened to petition ASB in an effort to have the drink removed from school campus.  I myself was shocked when I set foot on The Masters campus to receive a conservative Christian education and saw the above drink.  Those who have not yet passed Biblical Fundamentals have been thrown into confusion.  The handbook explicitly states that no shorts may be worn to class yet the suggestive name of the fruit drink promotes the opposite.  Also the subliminal messages that this promiscuous fruit drink could be sending out is utterly shocking.  Those of us advanced Master’s students can only shake our heads and wonder “where our school is heading”.  If it’s Naked fruit drinks now what will it be in the future?

Potatoes Anyone?

Sometime last night some mischievous person or persons struck the Masters College with an unexpected blow.  This morning when everyone went to class potatoes were lying around campus in strange places.  Before calling 911, you might want to realize that our sources don't think this is some cultic ritual or a subtle strike against the dress code.  Though it is clear that these persons must be suffering mentally. We all wonder what kind of a sick person would maliciously stab potatoes on fence posts.  In response to this outrage the vegetable rites activists have threatened to picket campus this Tuesday.  Now let us all hold our breaths and wait to see what happens next. 

note: if anyone knows the guilty persons, please, please enter into some confrontation and restoration.  For all of our sakes.