MaxEntropy447's Xanga

Well, Fuck This Then

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:19:32 GMT

Right now, the TK is hella pissed. Why? Bemis.

I had my interview with them last Wednesday and, in my opinion, it went very well. The two people that interview me said that they were, "Anxious to hire someone so I would probably hear from them the start of [this] week." I sat around Monday... no email. Tuesday... no email. Finally Wednesday at noon I send the HR rep there an email asking if they had made their decision. I sit here 24 hours later and I still have no response to that email. What the fuck. When we were emailing each other about the interview time and directions, she always responded within 10 minutes of one of my emails. Fuck that place.

Is it common business practice to just ignore people you're not going to hire? I still have never heard back from my Rose Ventures interview. That was a month ago. What pisses me off the most is that even when I asked about the fucking results they still ignored me. I can't believe that. What. Dicks.

The icing on the cake is I emailed Mettler-Toledo this morning asking if they were hiring another summer intern and, if so, if they would consider me for the position. I got an email back saying that the new lab director isn't hiring an intern this summer. I guess I should at least be happy I got a response. Apparently spending three minutes to respond to potential employees is a waste of time.

I have no job. I have no prospects.
Well... fuck this then.

It's Been a While

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 20:35:31 GMT

I haven't updated in a while, so I figured I'd go ahead and write a little something.

School:

School's going OK. Just another quarter. This one is surprisingly easy. Reactor design is a moderate amount of work, but the concepts are easy. Data Collection is retard easy and little to no work. Environmental Science pisses me off. I hate that class so much. It's really easy, but I have no interest in it and thus do poorly. I think I'm going to drop it. We'll see. EEE is easy, but I'll probably get a B in it. Unit Ops is about to get slightly difficult. We have to write an 8 page paper that's due next Tuesday. It's pretty formulaic, but it's going to take up some time. That's about all.

General:

I'm sick. I don't know what it is. My throat is sore and I think I have a sinus infection.

I'm trying to get back into the habit of going to the gym again. So far it's been pretty good. I just hope I can keep it up.

Foam Party:

Foam party was this past weekend. It was pretty fun. We have to have party workers and if not enough people sign up to work, they are randomly selected. I was randomly selected for DD, which wasn't going to fly with me. Luckily no one knows how old I am and I managed to get switched to the last bar shift. It was pretty good. I managed to get two girls to make out with each other somehow. I remember it wasn't that hard either. It went something like this:

Girls: Can we get some beer?
Me: If you guys make out.
Girls: We can't! Our sorority sisters are right over there!
Me: You can come behind the bar and do it.
Girls: Hold on.

So they scamper off and lead there sorority sisters down stairs and come back.

Me: Well let's see it.
Girls: *Smooching*
Girls: Can we get the beer now?
Me: We're out of beer.

That's pretty much how it went. We were really out of beer too. I think I gave them some wine coolers as a consolation prize, though. I love being me sometimes.

Summer Plans:

I literally just got back from a job interview with Bemis, a plastic packaging plant located here in TH. It seems like a pretty good job with flexible hours. They work 24/7 so I may be expected to come in at night and some hours on the weekend, but I don't really have a problem with that. They said I wouldn't be expected to do it all the time. I'd be tweaking processes for them trying to make them more efficient which sounds pretty interesting. Hopefully I get it. I'm supposed to hear back from them by the first of next week. I even told them that I might be able to stay on next year which is a huge possibility since the hours are flexible and next year is going to be a light work load. I feel like I got it, which is just what I want. Hopefully the pay is good. My goal is to buy a ridiculously large flat screen TV by the end of the summer.

That's about all I can think of. I've got some homework to do.

Update:

So, apparently I survived my first earthquake last night. It didn't originate here, but it was pretty close. About 70 miles SSW of here. It was about 4:30 this morning. Here was my thought process:

I wake up.
What the hell is that?
Is someone opening the garage? (My room is above the garage)
No, it's too wobbly for that.
Fuck it. I'm tired.
I'm getting a coin operated bed for free.
Back to sleep.

All in all it was pretty uneventful. It was a 5.4 on the rictor scale where it originated, and one of the brothers from California said it was probably a ~3 or ~3.5 here. Nothing was broken at our house. It was just weird to be in an earthquake.

Behold, I am all that is MAN

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 17:08:36 GMT

So I pretty much just had the best meal of my life.

I come back from my Mass Transfer exam (easy) and Cerg comes in my room and asks me if I'm hungry and offers up some pancakes. You know what goes good with pancakes? Bacon. And hash browns with cheese on them. Now let me explain to you why I'm going to be on the shitter the rest of the day.

I get done frying up a pound of bacon (for four people) and wonder, "How do you get rid of bacon grease?" I was then warned you don't throw it down the drain 'cause it could clog it. Jeff knows what to do with bacon grease. Fry three eggs in it. There was still some left, though, so we put some hash browns in it. Jesus. Then we cut up some pickles and fried them in there. Now we've got things going.

My meal consisted of: a pancake with butter and syrup, four strips of fried bacon, a good portion of hash browns cooked in way too much oil topped with cheese, a small portion of hash browns fried in bacon grease with cheese, a bacon fried egg and some bacon fried pickles. I can already sense my colon expanding for the increased through-fair.

Now the question is, do I study for my stats final? I need a 95% percent to get an A, but only a 62% to get a B. I'm pretty amazed at this since I did really good in the class. On all the quizzes I missed a total of one point, got an A on every homework assignment, two bonus points, and an A on two of the three tests. The only reason it sort of makes sense is I got a C on the third test and the final is 30% of our overall grade. I don't think it'll be too bad. I'll probably review test three for an hour or so and call it quits.

That's all for now. I'll be home in a couple of days. Saturday, probably.

I'm going to go shit.

A Hairy Schedule

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:25:45 GMT

So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about our class period structure here at Rose, mostly to take my mind of the fact that my face feels like 40-grit sand paper. As many of you probably know, it’s Facial Hair February. It’s a holiday of pure manliness where you celebrate by not shaving the whole month.

That is, it makes most men feel manly. I’m speaking specifically of those people that are able to grow full beards, unlike myself. My facial hair grows like I have hormone deficiencies. I didn’t even start shaving until my senior year of High School, and even then it was just because my friends were doing it. One of my friends, Don Seipel, looked like he had been growing a beard since he was four; maybe three. I can imagine his mother giving birth to him giggling all the way because his beard tickled. Then he probably grabbed a quick shave before talking to the doctor about car engines and football.

Anyways, the period structure here is a little different. We call them “hours,” but they only last 50 minutes. Even if you include the five minute class break it doesn’t total an hour. I think a much better system would be to make it a nine period day with 55 minute classes and a five minute break starting at 8:00. Then we’d able to actually call them “hours,” and stop confusing the Civils about how long an hour actually is. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten to school and asked someone what period only to have them look at their watch, count on their fingers, and respond with, “Wait, I think it’s July.” Under my proposed system they’d be able to confidently respond, “That’s a pretty manly face forest you’ve got there,” and then we’d grunt and bump chests.

In my opinion, it’s a much better system. I think we should all talk to our local SGA representatives and get them to propose it in their next meeting. I’m very serious about this issue and hope that someone in charge takes it just as seriously. I’m going to go belt-sand my face.

Banquet Blunders

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 18:43:34 GMT

So, PIKE has a banquet coming up and I need a date. I don't plan on finding one, but campaigning for one did cross my mind. If I go through with it, I suppose the ad would look something like this:

Oh, Canaduh

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 01:59:34 GMT

Fall break was this past week where we get Thursday and Friday off of school. I don't have classes on Wednesdays, so my break pretty much started Tuesday at 2:30. It started off in kind of a weird way, too. Jeff came back from classes and told me that one of the ME professors had a keg of Sam Adams Oktoberfest that he needed help drinking before it skunked. Being the helpful citizen that I am, I jumped at the opportunity. It was quite the experience. I don't have this professor, but he holds a special place in my heart as he looks exactly like Jim Gaffigan. It was an honor to drink with him. After that we went over to the house for bid Tuesday and said hi to all the new guys we got.

The rest of break was pretty much Halo 3 on xbox live at the house until we left for Canada on Friday.

Thursday, though, it occurred to me that I should probably get a good ID before we went because the one I have is a piece of crap. It got washed or something, so you can barely read anything on it. Robby had to get a new license because his expired so we went together. I walked up to the counter and tried to get an Indiana state license with my "proof of residency" being my lease for the house on Adams Street. It did work, but she said that if someone at the house would come in and sign something that would work. The only problem is that none of their licenses have that address on them. Fuck. So I ask her, "What if they came in and filled out the same form saying I lived with them at whatever address was on the license?" She said that would work. I was so close to getting an Indiana license with Robby's address on it. The only problem was my Ohio license is so badly fucked up, they couldn't accept it. I did, however, get an Indiana state ID card. It looks exactly like a license, but doesn't permit me to drive. I still have my Ohio license, but I think it's funny that I have an Indiana ID saying I'm from Greenwood.

We headed off to Canada for the 6 hour car ride. We got lost in Detroit for an hour or so too. What a shit hole. There were signs that supposedly lead you to the tunnel and bridge to Canada everywhere, but some of them were misleading. And by "misleading" I mean they contradicted each other. The road to the bridge was under construction and couldn't be used which we found out after trying to find the tunnel for 45 minutes. In the end we were always one street over from the one we needed to be on. What a time.

Once we finally got to Canada, it was a blast. Four of the guys we went with wanted to go to The Keg, which isn't actually a bar but a steak place, to get some dinner. The steaks are like $40, though, so Robby and I went to a place called Patrick O'Ryan's pub. It was the best part about the whole trip. Him and I sat at the bar and had raunchy conversations and a couple of beers. The bar tender was hot and helped us pick out the best beers from a list of 20 or so from different countries. It was such a good time. For some reason, Robby and I hung out for most of the night by ourselves. We met up with the other guys after they went to the steak place and walked around for a while, but they left to go do something else. I'm not sure what, but Robby and I walked around and had a great time.

Saturday Robby, Kennedy and I went to the casino to play some poker. It was loads of fun and we played for like 7 hours or something crazy like that. Robby made like $200 and Kennedy left ahead $31. I left $10 down or so, but I got a couple of drinks so I consider it breaking even. It was fun anyways. The guys we played with were cool and we talked a lot about beer and poker and stuff like that. We even ran into some PIKEs from Northern Kentucky University while we were there. After the casino we went grabbed some food and went back to Patricks. Easily the best bar we went to the whole time we were there. After Patricks we stopped by a hookah bar and then everyone wanted to go to a strip club. This was the WORST part of the trip. I was against the idea from the start, but everyone else wanted to go so I did too. It was a miserable time. Kennedy bought me a lap dance mostly because he knew I didn't want one. So I had some mediocre looking Asian chick grinding up on me. I can't say I enjoyed any part of it. It was gross and weird. I'm definitely never going to one again. Oh, her vagina's name is "The Fortune Cookie" by the way.

After that Robby and I were on our own again and we walked over to a club. They were having a hot body contest we watched. At all these club places they have these girls walking around with, what look like, test tube racks filled with test tubes of shots. One of them came up and started talking to me trying to get me to buy a shot and we actually talked for quite some time. Apparently, they buy the whole rack from the club and then have to sell them on there own. The girl, who was very pretty, was pissed off that she wasn't selling so well because she wasn't dressed like a slut. Some of the girls had on hardly anything and she had on a t-shirt and jeans. She was nice to talk to so Robby and I each bought a shot off of her. She still stuck around and talked to us for a while and told us that she was the nicest guys shes talked to since she's been there and that we were very genuine. She liked us so much she gave us each a free shot and let us keep the test tube.

Robby, being a classy motherfucker, ended up talking to one of the girls who came runner up in the hot body contest. I, being the best fucking wing man there ever was, distracted her hideous fat friends. The five of us walked over to the only club open at the time (It was like 3 AM at this point) and stood in line for an hour or so to get in. Robby and the hot body girl went out dancing and I stood next to the dance floor looking at all of the people dancing. It was miserable. I would have danced with someone, but I just ended up hating them more and more as they kept dancing. I don't really know why. They were just so happy to be in there dancing and whatever. I don't know. It was getting to be around 4:30 or so and Robby and the hot body girl had already left and I was standing there hating all the people dancing when a girl came up to me. Here's how that went down:

(Everything Italicized is me thinking)
Patricia (that's the girls name and everything): You here by yourself?
Tim: Wow. She's cute. I should probably lie to her. Yeah, aye. My fuckin' friend left with some American chick. (All in a thick Canadian accent)
P: Oh, are you from around here?
T: Yeah, I'm from Windsor and all.
P: Really? Me too!
T: Fuck. Think quick ol' boy.
P: What part are you from? I live on the East side.
T: Really, you know? I live on the West side.
P: You go to school over there?
T: Nah, I go to University (I'm fucking BRILLIANT) in the States. I just brought some friends up here for the weekend. (I don't know if they call it University or College in Canada, but I just wanted to say it like that, so I did)

I asked her to dance with me, but she was leaving soon so we just talked a little more and I kept my thick Canadian accent up the whole time. She offered to give me her number (I didn't even have to ask), but I didn't have my phone or anything to write with. She whips out her phone and instead of getting my number just takes my name so she can facebook me. I don't know why, but I ended up giving her my real name instead of my tried and true Rick Blaine or James Castle. I still have received no facebook friend request from her. Maybe seeing that I'm from Ohio convinced her that I was just lying my ass off.

I walked back to the hotel after that and we left today. It was a fun trip, but I don't know if I would go again. It was sooooo expensive. It was a lot of fun, though. I ended up spending a small fortune. I'm glad I got a lot of cool experiences even if some of them were bad. Being in my first good bar. Being in my first terrible bar. Gambling in a casino against people who do it for a living and virtually coming out even. Going to my first club. Going to my first strip club and getting a miserable lap dance from a girl with fake tits. It was fun.

I'll leave you with some lyrics:
"Alone I stand.
United we fall apart.
One union under God,
but not for long.
Thankfully."
-Bayside

50 Things Men Wish You Knew

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 19:06:34 GMT

I'm going to blatantly steal this from Tomsu because I liked it. I also had some different opinions about what he said. Bold I agree with, Italics I don't and Strike through means it can be omitted.

1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
4. If you think I'm speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.
5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.
7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once.
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.
9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they're your best sign that I'm not a whack job.
11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.
13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.
14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
15. I don't ask for directions because I'm just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.
17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.
18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?
19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.
20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.
21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don't be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.
22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
23. You're really bad at faking it.
24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you're late.
25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.
27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.
28. Unless we're meeting my parents.
29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.
30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.
31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.
32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."
33. We love ponytails.
34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.
35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.
36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.
37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.
40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."
42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.
44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.
45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.
46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"
49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.
50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.

This should help all those girls with their panties moist in anticipation at fucking my brains out get to do so. Or guys. It's been so long, I'm not picky.

I And I, We're Control of Our Lives

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 21:51:13 GMT

I think I'm going to post this almost exclusively in Bayside lyrics. Mostly because they're as pissed off at all girls as I am at just one. Here goes:

Sirens and Condolences:

"You're not eighteen anymore. Five years should have been enough time for you to grow up and get over this."

"When is enough finally enough?"

"I swear if I could take your pain it and hang it on my wall, maybe then you'd never have to hurt at all."

"You're painting pictures in red and blue. A portrait bruised just like you."

"It's the poison in my veins that got me through her kiss."

"'Cause I'm all wrong and I don't see a chance to fix this head so just give up. Write me off. Pretend I don't exist."

"All you want is a reason to live or a way for you to die."

"I wonder if you're looking up from underneath someone who is able to be someone that I'm not."

"I'm breaking it down now. The way I should have let you go and ruin one life instead of two."

"And it's wonderful, the pain that comes with regret."

"Sometimes you have to see the beauty in all of this loneliness."

"And I wonder when, when I'll bow out, wash me away like I was made of sand, and it's wonderful."

"There's a pair of dead eyes in the mirror looking back at me."

"And now I'm feeling so down that there's no God above, and no mercy for a soul that's just way too fucked up."

"Leave me here to die."

"Take this razor and sign your name across my wrists so everyone will know who left me like this."

"Sew me up. My scars run deep. A reminder not to forget the times that we've had."

"The sharper the axe the cleaner the wound, so I'll be leaving it dull tonight for I deserve to hurt."

"Disfigure the outside to show how ruined I am."

"There's no pain and no pleasure when you're too numb to feel."

"Just close the door and let me do what I need, 'cause it's better for the both of us if you just let me leave."

"Are you like this, afraid to be yourself?"

"And if you get through all of this without hating yourself for all of it, and you know that I will hate you enough for the both of us."

"I'm alone and I can't blame anyone but you."

"Self-loathing once filled me, but now I know the truth."

"We make believe everyday we make our lives seem like they're still worth living. We find out in the end that it's only us that we've been kidding."

"Honesty doesn't sit so well on you."

"Just another stupid drama that no one notices but you."

"Nothing is real and I want you to know that I'm not alright."

"Tear open my chest. I'll try not to flinch. I won't make promises. I won't make promises. You taught me that."

"I'm still losing what's left of my self-esteem."

"The easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else and I've been tricked by you for so long that I've spent these last few months in my own hell."

"But what do you need me for? You've got friends galore."

"All you've ever been to me is a waste of time and nothing more."

"I hate myself for hating myself just enough to love you."

"You wanted to know just what makes me tick. I guess I could say that you and your bullshit are driving me towards an explosion. I guess you're what drives me."

"I wish I could ride you, drive you too fast into a sharp curve. Break your neck like you broke my will."

"The guardrail will take you home."

Bayside:

"It just seems pointless to work this thing out."

"I'm warning you now, when you realize you made a mistake I'll be sure to kick you while you're down."

"A lifelong friendships not worth it."

"I'll smile again the day that you figure out... I was all that you had."

"I've you're not ready, you're not ready. Please stop acting like you are."

"But what's so wrong with being all alone? Alone's the only way I've ever known."

"My darling, I'm taking back my life to start healing."

"I hate myself more that I ever let on."

"I'm questioning whether this whole thing is worth it, to die poor and all alone?"

"Here lies the destiny of two hurt souls afraid to be cured again."

"We'll be OK. We both got what we want. I got sex, you got fame."

"I'm so tired of the stupid games you play."

"If I had a gun and shot it at your face, would you promise not to get out of the way."

"If you happen to be able to avoid my first attack, I'd put a knife against your throat and cut an inch for every time I lost my self control."

"Evelyn, I know you lied."

"I'm begging you to leave here now. I'm begging you to die painfully."

"Maybe I'll just have to strangle you with my bare hands."

"Then you'll have to adhere to my demands and occupy a shallow grave as shallow as you are."

"I thought you'd change, but things just stayed the same."

"And now you swear that you're being honest, but you're not honest and you never could be."

"Your life's a waste."

"You're all show and it's getting old."

"I've been meaning to hurt you in the best way I see fit. I'm not sure if it did the trick, but I think it did."

"Keep walking down your lonely road. It's shallow and cold, and it's yours and yours alone."

"Each day it gets harder to pretend that you're eyes aren't lying as much as your mouth did."

"I'd grab your head by your hair and I'd hack it off. And put it on display at the front of the yard on a stick decorated with a little pink bow and a sign that says, 'Her friends and family should have taught her more about love.'"

The Walking Wounded:

"Scientists, they couldn't fix me. I'm so tired of getting out of bed."

"But who wouldn't want to die as a cowardly little child?"

"When our times up will we be ashamed or proud?"

"You stretch the truth like a crooked salesmen. Telling lie, after lie, after lie, but where's the line?"

"I know it's not the end, but it can't be that far."

"She was a termite eating away at my roots."

"I was just a lost soul who needed a home. I was filling a void with you."

"I can't can't wait 'till you see see see what death and disgust have done to me."

"I wish we never met."

"Don't confuse neediness for love."

"You're insane by a landslide."

"I've lost control of life."

"I don't know how many times I've tried to undo the knot you've tied."

"My face is red and people change. I've changed for good this time."

"I just can't handle this. I'm so scared of it."

"Now I'm torn at the seams just like you said I'd be."

"If this is love, then I don't want a part of it."

"So hold back, steadfast you've gotta breath and be content, just count to ten."

"And if the drugs don't work then they've got a padded room for you to get your just desserts."

"I and I we're taking control of our lives. Everything's alright."

"Go to church 'cause you need a good cleansing of body, mind and soul."

"I never thought it possible. I fell in love with someone worse than me."

"The healing power of alcohol only works on scrapes and nicks and not on girls in seedy bars who drown themselves in it."

"You can't trust a heart that was cold from the start. Waste your time on it."

"And tell your friends that everything's alright. The truth is your heart collapsed two years ago tonight."

"Hey Mom, they left me here alone. Someone save me, someone save me."

"Hey God, I'm out here on my own. So now? Will you save me now?"

"I needed an anchor for my sinking ship. It's just like me to attach it to my heart instead."

"I think this was a test to see how long I could hold my breath."

"Alone we stand. United we fall apart. One union under God, but not for long, thankfully."

"As if heartache's not heartache enough anymore."

"'Cause if we never take a dip again we'll never know the joy that failure brings."

"So what if I'm a sinner? I've got black spots on my liver and cancer grown on both my lungs."

"I think I'm ready to go."

"Nothing feels right, but my fake smiles paint pictures like everything's fine."

"They don't care. They never cared."

That's it. On the bright side, maybe she'll die soon. Right now, it's the only hope I have.

Sick Sick Sick

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 00:03:29 GMT

Ugh. I feel like poopy.

So last Friday I wake up and am toweling off when I realize "my balls hurt." Well, my left ball hurts. I complained about it most of the day, but it wasn't too bad so I didn't think much of it. Saturday, though, it hurt even worse. After a couple of calls and freaking out for a while, I end up in the emergency room with JK and Buddy. I mean, even though I was there to have my balls felt up and was worried they were going to remove it it was still fun.

The car ride there was filled with a bunch of jokes at my expense. JK's up front on the phone with his mom (whose a nurse) trying to figure out what they're going to do to me. He's making jokes about how they're going to remove my nut and I'm going to have to keep it in a mayonnaise jar on my desk. Buddy's in the back seat telling me they're going to stick things up my ass to check my prostate. So we get there and I'm behind the nurse's station worried I have a torsion and surgery is involved when I hear JK at the station asking, "Can we cut the game on out here?" Priceless. They take some information from me and the doctor comes back and grabs a fist full of my junk. I just get done pissing in a jug when JK and Buddy barge in on me. Apparently they just let anyone back there as long as they ask. We hung out in my room for a while and those guys watched football. They never had a definitive answer for what the problem was, but settled on epididymitis.

I'm not 100% sure what caused it, but I'm pretty sure it was the foam party. This is a little graphic, but after dancing around in wet shorts covered in de-moisturizing foam, my cock was destroyed. The doc says it starts at a urinary track infection and moves into your nuts. I wouldn't be surprised if some foam got in there, started an infection and migrated to my nuts. Some people have asked me if it's an STD which I have mixed feelings about. I mean, it's a compliment that they think I'm getting laid (I'm not) but insulting that they think I would have sex with a ho (I don't). Just because it's in my nuts doesn't mean there's anything sexual about it at all. Like, if someone came up to me with a sinus infection I wouldn't assume they got it from going down on a girl.

On a completely un-related story, I have a sinus infection. I'm congested and coughing up what I can only describe as yellow yogurt. I went to the doctor and got some meds for that today. I'm on more pills now that I have been my whole life.

This weekend should prove to be pretty fun. PIKE Scavenger hunt is Friday night, which I pretty much just use as an excuse to go talk to cute sorority girls. PIKE Day is Saturday where we get a massive 200ft water slide (girls in bathing suits). It'll be fun.

Saturday night I may be going to a stop light party at Erica's house (foam party girl), but I doubt that will happen. You have to be 21 to go, which I'm not. The thing is her and I were facebook messaging back and forth up until she found out I wasn't 21. I asked her if she would make an exception for me and she said she didn't really have a problem with it, but would talk to her room mate about it and would get back to me. I haven't heard from her since. Oh, well. I couldn't really see myself dating her. She lives in Indy and everything. She was really pretty, though. I can safely say she's the prettiest girl I've ever made out with.

That's why I hate not being 21. Not even because I can't go to bars or buy directly, but because it limits my dating range to 18-20. That's a pretty narrow range. It's only going to get worse as the year goes on as everyone in my class slowly turns 21 and I'm left behind. When I'm 21 that really opens up the range to 18-25. A much more acceptable number. Ugh.

I've been reading a book I got on NLP and I'm loving it. It's really taught me a lot, but I always forget to use the tricks. I did, however, "word salad" JK last night. It got him to do what I wanted, but due to the circumstances he probably would have done it anyways. We were going to go somewhere and play beer pong, so I ask Jeff "You want to buy beer pong?" I mean, the command "buy beer" is in there, but we would have had to anyways. It's just right after I asked him he goes, "Yeah. Let's go buy beer." So I don't really know. The book itself is pretty much written with advice used for therapy, but I can easily turn that around into ways to fuck with people. The forward of the book is pretty much written like, "The stories in this book sound fantastical, but NLP can actually achieve results just like this. It's a powerful tool, so don't just go around fucking with people with it." I've already learned about how people think, modeling, mirroring, and I'm learning about anchoring now. If I'm able to really fuck with my test subject (JK) in a noticeable way, I'll let you guys know. I also bought a book on card tricks which I'm going to move into next. It's kind of cool.

That's about it for now. Maybe a post some time next week with details about the scavenger hung, PIKE day, and hopefully a stop light party.

Murder's Just a Mistake That You Have Made

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 20:42:23 GMT

So, I'm back in the Haute now. I've been moved into the new house for quite some time now and things are going really well. I'm pretty excited for I think will be the best year here I'll have. My house mates are pretty frickin' sweet.

I guess since it's the start of a new quarter I have to go through my run down of classes. I don't blame you for skipping it. I would too.
CHE315 - Materials Science and Engineering - A - This class shouldn't be too terribly hard. The prof is funny in an extremely awkward sort of way. I don't think I'll have a problem with it.
CHE304 - Thermodynamics II - C+/B - This one will prove to be a challenge. I have the same... well... we'll say cunt... that I had last quarter for Thermo I. I was praying for a car wreck over the Summer, but I guess Satan does exist.
CHE314 - Heat Transfer - A - I don't think this class will be tough at all. The prof is really cool and funny. The material seems pretty straight forward too.
SL191 - Cultural Geography - B/A - This class I'm still not sure about. I don't think it'll be too hard, but the final grade is determined from 3 equally weighted activities (2 tests and a presentation). I'm not sure how I'll do.

The only other notable thing was the FOAM party that we had on Saturday. Un-fucking-believable. Easily the best party I've ever been to or will ever go to again. I honestly can't think of any feasible way to top it. It started like all other parties, with me walking around the house looking for a hot girl to dance with. I actually found one though and we ended up hanging out the whole night. She was a lot of fun to be around.

I'm kind of glad things turned out the way they did, too. I didn't get her number because I'm a moron, but I'm kind of glad I didn't. I tried to track her down on facebook and was only able to find her friend (I don't think she has a facebook) and I gave my phone number to her friend to pass it down to her. I'm glad that I'm not the one responsible for calling. It's really played to my advantage because I'm not even sure if I want her to call. Because:
1) I'm not sure if I'm ready to get involved with someone yet. I still think I need time.
2) She lives in Indy, which is a couple hours away from here and I've sworn never to date a girl from so far away. Especially since this one seems pretty busy with school and what not.
3) She's 22. I consider anyone 21 and over out of my dating range because they'll want to go to bars and stuff and I really can't.
There were some positives, though:
1) She's studying to be, and is currently working as, a nurse. This makes me think that she's not a complete moron, which would be a pleasant change.
2) She was really pretty and nice to talk to. More importantly, though, she had a nice rack.
3) She's a nurse, which makes me thinks that she has one of those outfits. *Hot*

I don't know. Either way it's helped me to get over Kelsey which is always a plus since she's reached near Dr. Sauer levels of cunt-ly-ness. The last message I got, and read, from her was something along the lines of, "So I met a cute red-headed guy last night. Shyea. He's taking me out tonight." After that, I've decided that she's the worst thing to ever happen to me and that I have no hopes of being friends with her. Ever. Not in a year, not in 10 years, not ever. She's sent me a couple of IM's since, but I haven't been accepting them. I suppose everybody needs a huge bitch of an ex-girlfriend who they wish would die. Thank you, Kelsey, for filling that role.

Of course, since foam party, I've heard some juicy stories about what happened with everyone else that you guys might enjoy hearing. I've even got some stories of my own I'll hold back in the interest of getting some calls and keeping this thing PG. Until next time...

-Tim "The Tim" Kober

PS - http://www.xanga.com/ppka_cartoon