I've had that feeling today. It has nothing to do with any situations I'm in currently, and yet I feel it may. It's odd. It's been coming at me for the past two days, really, but my attention was caught tonight while reading the first two chapters of "Wild At Heart", which has proven so far to be an incredible book.

I watched the movie "Stranger Than Fiction" last night, and it was pretty good. It's about a guy, played by Will Ferrell, who lives a rather mundane life until he starts hearing a woman narrating his life, things he's doing and things that were to come. Anyhow, the real gist of the movie is about breaking out of routine life and achieving things you've always wanted to, living life, not just existing.

Today I watched "Pan's Labyrinth", which was not bad... different, but not bad, and I watched "Rocky Balboa". Rocky Balboa is a good movie that stresses the point that life is not about seeing how hard you can hit, but about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. It's about how life takes risks, and you're going to get hit, but you can't let the fear of getting hit get in your way.

And then we get back to "Wild At Heart", by John Eldredge. The subtitle on the cover reads, "Discovering the secret of a man's soul". Within the first two chapters I find myself reevaluating the way I go about my life. So many things ring out to me when it comes to being cautious instead of adventurous and the basic male instinct to fight some kind of battle. I've gone too long thinking that living peacefully meant taking all the blows, big and small. I've jumped on my fair share of grenades. And after these I continue living, never really doing anything about it. It's ironic, really, because I do this trying to be cautious, but in my caution I'm hurting myself. My caution also keeps me from doing things, keeps me from exploring what the world has to offer. I've come a long way in the past year, but I'm still a long way away from what I want to be.

I'm tired of caution, tired of being afraid to take risks. I don't want to be just another one of millions of men in the world who lives an adventure-free existence. I want to take risks that could lead to big things, not risks of caution that ultimately lead to mere existence devoid of anything meaningful.

I still have a lot of thinking to do, and a lot of praying, and some situations to deal with...

This is what's been on my mind tonight.

So the summer is halfway over for me. This is crazy. There's just been so much going on that time flies by. I'm definitely glad that I decided to come to Quincy, though. It's been a great experience thus far and it will be weird when it's over. It feels like I just got here, yet like I've always been here. And even with so much behind me there's still so much coming up with more lessons to plan for, a trip to Six Flags to get organized, a sermon to write, and the big finale at Tri-State Christian Camp. It all can feel overwhelming  sometimes, but I try to take it one thing at a time and manage to get things done.

We had Uplift last week at Harding, which was a great experience. The speakers were all great. They were Jason Ashlock, Don McLaughlin, and Wiley Lowe. Andrew Baker, the dorm-dad for Cathcart Hall, spoke the last night and he was great as well. Being there reminded me of how much I want school to get started again. I got to visit with some people, like Dolly, Marisa, Lolli, Kyle, Ann Dixon, and Coleman. It was awesome. I also saw Allison, Jacob Edwards, Melissa Hitt, Amanda Book, and Aaron Combs. I'm ready for August to be here, and yet I don't want to miss a thing here in Quincy between now and then. It's a strange feeling.

I've found that I pretty much always have that feeling of missing something, some place, someone... it never seems to go away. True, I miss Searcy, even though it's only been 3 days since I left again. I miss people the most though. That's the weirdest thing for me. I have never been one to get homesick or to feel too off when friends back home weren't around, but with Harding it's different. I guess it's just that that is the world I immersed myself in and now that I've been out of it for a while I am feeling the effects of not being there. For some people I know exactly why I miss them so much. And for some of them this feeling won't be going away for a long time. I guess it's a testament to how much God has blessed me this past year. So much that has become part of who I am is from the past 12 months, it's incredible.

Alright, I think I've yapped and pined enough for now. My parents should be here within a half hour! So I should get some work done before they get here.

Enjoy the rest of Summer everybody!