Me_Myself_Ana's Xanga

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 15:40:38 GMT

Sorry it's been sooooooo long since I've been on here. My computer officially crashed and it took me this long to get someone over here to fix it. But TADA!!! Here it is. :)
I'm not as confident as I was in my last post...I seem to be inflating with no hope of return. But I started new diet pills today (Xenedrine EFX- let me know if you know anything about them) and I'm back to walking again. Those are at least semi-positives.
I'm really wondering how all of you are. I'm sorry I haven't been around to offer any support. I hope that you're all ok and skinny and happy. I'll try to get around to posting comments soon. Peace

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Tue, 30 May 2006 19:13:37 GMT

I'm still sucking it up pretty badly. I'm w-a-y less depressed than I was last time I typed, though, so that's good at least. We're getting summer theatre underway and that gives me something else to work on. I've also started walking for an hour or so every day with a friend and that's good, too. I went on an alcohol binge this weekend and killed any weight-loss progress I'd made but I think I can get my footing and fix it again. I'm confident that I will end the summer a smaller size than I began it!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Tue, 23 May 2006 17:07:18 GMT

I weighed myself today when I went to the gym. Half of me totally regrets it because it made me feel so awful to look at the number. The other half of me is happy that I at least cought it before it got entirely out of control. And I was doing so well a few weeks ago. Damn.

I've gained about 5 lbs. I knew it was happening and I knew it was my own fault but I just sat back and allowed it. I've been eating pretty much whatever my boyfriend suggests or wants for nearly two weeks now and it's obviously getting to my body. That sucks. I like being able to eat like a normal human and maintain meals with people. On vacation it was really easy to do...we just ate lunch and dinner as a group every day. I figured if I continued eating twice a day like that I wouldn't have a problem. Apparently that's not the case at all. I guess the stuff they fed us on vacation was better than the stuff we choose to eat when we're at home but whatever it is, there's a huge difference. I was actually *losing* weight on vacations (while everyone around me gained) and now I've gained it all back. *sigh*

I don't really have anything to do and that can't help. I go the gym but I have hours of empty time to fill and I end up sitting in my room or the library or outside reading. Or I mess around online. Or I just sit and be lonely.

God I'm depressing. I'm sorry everyone. I don't mean to bring you all down with my whining. I'm just not used to being alone this often. I don't work regularly cause my job is weird and I don't have any classes I need to take but all of my friends do have normal jobs or they take classes. That leaves me alone from the point I get up in the morning until late evening and 9/10ths of the time I have absolutely nothing that I have to do. I know to some people that sounds like a great way to spend the summer but it's driving me insane! I've even started to get all clingy with my boyfriend cause I don't see him as much as I'd like to. I've tried going for walks but it's no fun alone. *sigh*

At least now I can focus on the weight problem and trying to fix it.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Thu, 18 May 2006 15:33:03 GMT

Comments! :) That made me extremely happy. Thank you!

Since I lost weight on my vacation by simply eating twice a day with no snacks I've decided to apply that to my everyday life. If I keep out the icky fattening snacks that I used to binge on then, if nothing else, I'll feel better about myself. I'm trying to make sure the two meals I eat each day are mostly fruits and veggies. It's tough with my boyfriend around but really, he's just glad I'm eating something. He took me to Subway for lunch today...not the best but definately not the worst. For dinner tonight I'm baking some turkey and making rice...spinach salads will top it off. I'm trying so hard to appear semi-normal and still lose weight. It's tough. I'm definately going to get a gym membership. That way instead of wasting time alone in my room I can waste time by swimming laps or jogging. :) I'm also tempted to go back on my dieter's tea. I know it just dehydrates me but I really believe it helps. What do you guys think?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wed, 17 May 2006 18:50:31 GMT

Still no comments from anyone. *tear* That makes me sad...although I checked and it seems a lot of people I was communicating with before have disappeared like I did for awhile. I understand.

I'm living across the street from the gym now. Now there is absolutely no reason NOT to go each and every day...especially considering how amazingly bored I am. Only downfall is that I'll have to pay membership and money is kinda tight right now. Ick. Oh well. It's a small price to pay for the excellent shape my body will be in by the end o the summer. ;)

Stay strong everyone!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mon, 15 May 2006 16:45:15 GMT

And by "I'll be back in no time" I obviously meant it would be a month before I was ready to deal with this again. Sorry I took soooo long, everyone. I hope you haven't all forgotten about me! School is out (and has been for nearly 2 weeks), I'm back from my pre-summer vacation, and I start work this week. I think I'm ready to take the world on again. As far as my weight is concerned, I'm still balancing my weight at 140-145 and I think I'm ok with that for the time being. Rather than try to force it off I've decided to work with it. I lost 5 pounds last week simply by eating meals at normal times and not snacking...it's amazing.
Please comment to let me know you're all still out there!!!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 05:26:56 GMT

I've been real depressed lately. My boyfriend and I got into a fight, I'm w-a-y overworked and stressed, my show is opening in 3 rehearsals and nothing is ready yet, I have a shit-ton of stuff to memorize, my mom is on my case, and anything else that could happen has (although the boyfriend fight was resolved). I'm tired and irritable and just don't want to type. I'm sorry guys. I'm going to keep trying to get on here but the closer I get to the end of school the less time I have to sit down and do this. If I stop typing for awhile, don't worry. I'll pull myself out of this funk and be back in no time.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 23:02:09 GMT

I ate a lot today. But my week has been bad enough that I really don't care right now. Damn this is sucking! I don't really want to get into it all cause I'm sure that no one really wants to read it. The biggest problem, though? My boyfriend is moving 20 hours away for the summer. Argh!

Monday, April 03, 2006

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 12:33:36 GMT

I've decided to start posting my intake/excercise/etc on here. I know it's probably boring for you all to read, but I think that holding myself accountable will help me out. I'm also going to post my points for that challenge. I still can't find the website back but luckily I printed off the chart so I can easily keep track. I'm going to type it up now while I have time and just update it later tonight when I have all the numbers.

INTAKE:
Peanut Butter Crackers- 170cals
Tomato Soup- 110cals
MiniPizza- 300cals
Cookies- 225cals
Ice Cream- 200cals

EXERCISE:
Elliptical 30min.- 330cals

POINTS:
Calories- -4
Water- 8
Sleep- 6
Exercise- 4
Mesc.- 2

EDIT: I suck pretty badly. I definately had a mini-binge this evening. I managed to stop myself and get online before it went any further, but that was far to far anyway. ARGH! Only 16 points total today.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 21:49:44 GMT

It's 8:45pm and I haven't eaten yet today. I'm just not hungry. I do WANT to eat, however, and I'm really not sure why. Does that happen to anyone else? It's like the fact that I haven't eaten makes me feel like I should eat something, hungry or not. I don't get it but often times *that* is what makes me screw up. I'll be going along just fine, realize that I haven't eaten, feel bad about it, and eat anything I can find. It's weird. Any suggestions as to how to stop it would be greatly appreciated!