From a Miss Erin Rainey:
"I spent years thinking that I was wrong, that I had to change, that someday I would wake up and be a Person That I Am Not. Don't ever do that."

Sorry Erin, I hope you don't mind me putting that in here, but I needed to hear that tonight more than anything. Thank you.



This entire week I've felt like I've been drowning in a figurative sea of questions, confusion, and completely shattered assumptions. It's really hard to articulate how I've been feeling, but my body hasn't liked it. I've had a kind of subtle underlying nausea all week, I've had headaches, I haven't been eating much at all. I've ranged from jealous to angry to bitter to disappointed.

I was told just now that I'm too critical. I suppose it's true.

I need to learn that I can't change people. And I need to learn that I can't change myself.

And....random.  Go!

-New haircut.  Nothing entirely different, but I now have something resembling bangs.  If the weather would cooperate, I'd wear it down instead of in a ponytail.  Speaking of hair, I found a gray hair this morning.  It pained my soul.

-Classes are okay.  Child Psychology is probably my favorite at the moment, and it's fun to be working towards a minor now.  I could do without the three 7:30 classes in a row, but life goes on.

-Got a new pair of glasses so I don't always have to put in contacts.

-I'm far too jealous.  I need to work on that a bit.

-Lifehouse on January 25th and 28th.  So close!  Can't wait.

-The guitar playing has not really improved, but that's okay.  It didn't expect it to happen quickly.

-Aaand that's it for now.  One of these days I will have a soul-searching entry of substance.  In the meantime... welcome to my superficialiaty.  Is that a word?

Sorry, apparently I'm incapable of updating.  Here we go:

So, I just checked my official grades, which were posted this morning.



I got all A's.



I still have a 4.0



After 3 semesters of prepharmacy.



HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm simultaneously ecstatic and confused, and now everyone is going to be mad at me. Not that I care if anyone is mad at me. "I told you you'd be fine, you always know more than you think, I hate you." Mmmhmm, story of my life, I'm sorry that I never have confidence in myself, and that I'm always amazed when I manage to do well.

Anywho. Vacation. Wonderful. I got my guitar finally, so I've been attempting to learn chords. My Fender acoustic is so pretty I'm taking it really slowly, and my fingers hurt because I haven't built up calluses, so basically I still don't know anything and can't play anything. This is going to take awhile, obviously, but that's okay. I've wanted to learn to play guitar for years, and now I'm finally making an attempt, it's exciting.

I'm working the Thursdays of break, so that's only 3 days. Pretty much enough to offset my Christmas present spending... oh well. It'll be good to get back to the hospital, see everyone, count some pills, make some IVs, avoid bleeding people in the ER, the usual.

I'll be seeing Lifehouse two more times during their new leg of tour starting in January. Wednesday, January 25 at House of Blues in Chicago (thanks to Joel), and Saturday January 28 at HOB Cleveland with Whitney, Ama, and Ali. My first show was w/ Whitney in Cleveland, so it's awesome to go back. I'm excited to see everyone and meet some new people at these shows too. Plus, Ean is heading back out with LH for awhile, so it'll be good to see him. I was listening to his CD while I was decorating the tree, I'm sure he'd love to know that, haha.

Mmmkay, I need to go do something now... Christmas cards won't write themselves. Later gators.