Friday Spontaneous Thoughts

Life should never feel fulfilled right?  When will we know when we're completely happy with our lives?  Maybe being filthy rich is a start, or pimping tons of girls, or even controlling slaves through out China, Thailand, and Africa would help reach this point of Euphoria? 

Basically it comes down to what each individual truly wants out of life.  That's what I don't know. 

The End. 

The Quits

I tried quiting cigarettes so many times already however I always end up coming back.  Why does that always happen?  Couple of things I can name off the top of my head are Stress, Boredom, Frustration, Work, Peer Pressure and Drinking.  I've managed to fight off most of these except Boredom and Peer Pressure.  I can't even say I quited for a long time but I know it's been done before and I did it pretty easily.  Being bored at work and seeing coworkers going out for a quick smoke seems so relaxing and makes the day that much more enjoyable.  I use to go out and just chat with them while they smoke but since I'm at a new job I feel a bit outcasted in a way.  I think to myself if I should smoke socially to get myself familiar with everyone.  This reminds me of that episode of Friends when Rachael is working at bloomingdales I believe and her coworker and supervisor always went out for cigarettes.  Rachael felt left out because she's thinking "when i comes down to a promotion, of course she's going to pick the smoking buddy!" 

So in conclusion I'm not saying I'm craving the nicotine but I am craving the sense of actually socializing that smoking helps you participate in. 

Anyone want to do Happy Hour now that I'm easily accessable to a subway? 

End of the Beginning

I just noticed my work place just allowed xanga so I can actually write in this thing.  When I get home from work I'm not going to blog.  I rather sit back and watch some tv to relax then to think of something to write.  

I'm sure everyone gets asked the question that I dread to answer.  "What's new in your life?"  I sadly answer with "Nothing much just working."  I wish I can actually say something more significant so it actually sounds like my life is moving ahead rather than at a stalemate.  Recently I've been looking for a job because I needed to make some moves in my career and leave this depressing island.  Ideally I'd love to be in the Manhattan but beggers can't really be choosers so I took a job that's in Rego Park which is in Queens, right outside of Manhattan and pretty close to my house.  They will be moving to Jersey city soon so I do get a little taste of the City on my way to and back from work.  I was kind of hesitant in taking it because it wasn't my ideal job ( I don't even know what that is) but I figure a change in scenary might help.  I asked several people for advice and everyone agrees to go for it so I did.  It's pretty sad to leave people you worked with for 3 years since they are the first impression of after college employement.  There's the update on my career path.  So everyone, it's time for Happy Hour!

Now onto a less work oriented topic.  The Romance.  I actually hope not too many people are still reading this because I kind of just want to write whatevers on my mind and not care what people think. 
It's been close to 2.5 years of my first/last REAL relationship.  Every girl that I've dated just doesn't "feel right".  I always find something I dislike or do not see her as a potential but yet I still continue dating them.  I thought that this may seem like I'm leading them on but I think it's more like "hmm maybe I'll give it another chance."  After I given her a thorough evaluation I just let it fade away.  During this thorough evaluation I noticed I tend to just compare them to my ex-gf and realize how fantastic of a girl she was.  I'm not saying I miss her and want to get back with her but I'm saying she was the closest girl to my view of "perfection."  I don't think there is this "perfection" that I see in fairy tales anymore just someone with a connection, compatibility, and share the similar views as me.  I threw the whole superficiality out of the filter because it should not matter. 

On another note of Romance with a lemon twist.  What's with girls that like to gold dig?  I'm beginning to see that side more.  Just because I'm nice and usually offer to pay for dinner doesn't mean it should be taken for granted.  A simple reach is sometimes enough for me to see that it's not an one way street.  My friend goes "F that! we split that!"  I'm like isn't that arkward to ask for half?  It's better just to take turns.  Well I can't argue with the game and how it's played.  Personally I really don't mind paying, it's when I feel like I'm taken for granted is when it passes the line. 

Xanga is great.  Allowed me to gather my thoughts and spit it out to the world.  Also killed 30 minutes writing this. 

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