We live in such a fast paced world. One where you could left behind in the blink of an eye. I mean seriously you take a rest for a minute and the world is 3 steps ahead of you. I guess sometimes I feel like I am left behind. I feel like I am still trying to figure myself out, when everyone else has figured out who they are and what they want to be. I can barely pick between pretzels and chips, let alone pick what I want to do with the rest of my life. I know that I don't have to know right at this moment...I know that...I keep telling myself that at least, however...sometimes I feel like I need to know. I mean how do I really know that this is the field I am going to love in 50 years and not only that how do I know that this is the field I want to work in when I get out of college, what if college isn't preparing me for anything? I mean how do you prepare for the real world? How does someone prepare you for the twists of life, good and bad, and how does someone let you in on the secrets of a good life? I don't think anyone can prepare you for life...if they could people wouldn't make mistakes and people wouldn't stumble a little before the end of the race ya know? I dunno I'm babbling..I guess its the psychologist in me to think to much and worry and overanalyze...I'm working on it and I guess I just needed to vent before I could start getting over my worries! Oh well!

I wanted to thank Kelly for her letter! I got it today and I guess it helped spark some thoughts! It will get better and you aren't alone..I'm in the same boat..maybe we can help each other out! Miss ya lots and see you in like 3 days! Yay!

Sorry, once again I am not keeping up to date on my Xanga entries. It seems like that is what I say everytime I write in my Xanga. I don't know it just seems like I have nothing good to write, at least nothing that would keep everyone interested lol. I guess by the time I am done studying that I am so stressed and burnt out that I can't think of anything to write down. So, I am trying. I am trying, right now to think of something to write....so, I am gonna let this be a short entry and when I think of something good to say you will all be the first to know!  

Sorry everyone..I know it has been awhile (I am especially sorry Kelly...stop bugging me.) Well Happy Belated Valentines Day to everyone! I had a great V-day and anniversary (for everyone who didn't know it was Ben and I's one year!) Ben took me to a really fancy restaurant and I got dressed up...(well I wore my nice black pants!), but anyway, we went to the restaurant and I got lobster ravioli and it was excellent! We had a really great time. We exchanged presents the day before and Ben got me this really beautiful bracelet! It was a really great day and I had a really wonderful weekend! (I hope to hear Valentines Day stories so leave me some comments!)

 So, poop, now I am back in my room and I have to do work...so ugh! Anyway, I am going to College Park in 2 weeks to see Dane Cook and I CAN NOT WAIT! It is going to be so much fun! Well, until later...I need to go do work...sorry this was short and I will try not to make entries so few and far between!

So, it's 11.50 on a Friday and I have been in my room since like 8:00pm. I'm bummed because Ben is away at his friends in Bloomsburg and I am here...doing nothing....(well, not nothing Jeanine and I had fun at dinner and then watching Drop Dead Gorgeous...which is uber stupid, but really funny!) Now, I'm all jittery and bored (I guess thats the way to put it.) I'm kinda just sitting around trying to find something to do and this is what I came up with. (Two entry's in one day..yay me!) Have you ever had that I'm not sure what I am feeling, feeling in the pit of your stomach? Well, if not then you wouldn't understand, but if you have...that's what I am feeling right now. There's so much on my mind, but I am not sure where to start. It's weird. I mean usually I have alot to say...(some would say I'm not a good listener, but maybe they just don't have anything good to say...jk jk). I don't know college does something to a person. It's like laying out someone insecurities and fears right out in front of a person because you can't run from yourself (not that I am running.) But, once you get there you have alot to think about, alot to worry about. It's weird to think that soon I will have a career and that I will be thinking about marriage and kids and that I will be paying bills! College is, I guess some would say, the beginning to the lifelong journey ahead. In many ways, it is a beginning. It's what gets you to where you want to go. It's where you figure out if you feel like you can make it or not (well, maybe thats extreme, but you get my drift.) I guess I just worry that when I get out into the "real world" that all this preparation will be for nothing. Oh well, I guess I worry too much (many would agree with me on that one.) I dunno maybe this is the place where my insecurities are laid out in front of me...maybe its not everyones experience. However, I must say that I am learning alot from myself here. I am figuring out alot about myself and maybe thats good enough for now.