| | To Not Fear Love/RelationshipsRULE 1: Don't Expect So Much
Many people expect too much from the idea "love." People often idealize it too much - media is a key cause of this. Relationships AREN'T THAT BIG A DEAL. Even marriage - if you think being married will stabilize you and make you happy all day everyday, think again. Sure, being with someone or being in love (not always the same thing) makes a lot of things great, but think of love as something like air, something that comes naturally. Don't cling onto people that leave you and don't block people from coming towards you. Relationships only help mature you. Be open minded, and take it for what it's worth.
RULE 2: Build Immunity to Pain
People that are hurt from "wrong" encounters and lose faith in the opposite (or sometimes the same) sex often lack the experience of being in a relationship. Think of pain as something like a virus (sounds funny, I know). If your body is healthy, you won't get sick as easily; likewise, if your heart and mind are sound, you'll deal with pain better. And especially guys, whatever you do - DON'T. GET. BITTER. You notice it in yourself as it happens after a bad experience - fight against it. Bitterness isn't good for you nor is it for the people that are to come. Talk it off, write it out, but don't harbor it inside and be consumed by it.
Rule 3: First and Foremost, Love Yourself.Appreciate yourself. Respect yourself. Those are the BASICS in starting a relationship. Who would appreciate you if you yourself don't? Don't let anyone walk all over you. You don't have to be defensive or harsh, but call them out. Don't be overly lenient and don't be too quick to defend him/her without thinking about it, especially if the person calling out your bf/gf's faults is a good friend. RULE 4: Go For It People often hesitate, even after someone's professed interest. A lot of people say they aren't in relationships because they haven't met the right person yet, that they haven't said anything to anyone yet because they haven't found anyone they like enough, etc... The more you get to know someone else, the more you realize what you're like and what you want in a person. The more relationships you've had, the higher the chance you'll find the right person. Go for it. RULE 5: A Little More Courage
If you like someone, take the time to ask how they are. Short messages are enough to let them know you exist. And even if you get rejected, don't lose hope. It's really not that big a deal. No one dies from not being in a relationship. Mostly from Cyworld, translation and additional commentary by me. |
| | Posted 11/12/2006 3:32 PM - 33 views - 0 comments
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