Its a Great Day!!

ok so umm havent been on here in awhile. things have been awesome lately....gotten to spend a lot of time with friends the past few months!! hell i think 2 of em live with me now!! haha i luv ya jenn and chris....what would i do without these two...well if it wasnt for me and jenn going on dancin that one night there would be no chris because we met him at Billy Bobs! hes cool he is like my twin...we have everything in common its crazy..hes a male version of me! haha luv ya bro!!!  

yah so well david is outta the picture now...i still love him to death but shit happens and BITCHES ruin everything and life goes on now....i kinda like who i have become with out him....i smile again!! thats all you see now is a smile on my face and i am happy...dont get me wrong i was happy with him but we fought a lot so the happiness was never shown on the outside.  since he left i have gotten more money to go out and do whatever with, i am not BROKE all the time anymore....actually got more money than i know what to do with sometimes..... i am driving now alot....hopefully gettin my own car next week!! been partying alot. its fun tho i party with the same people most of the time so i feel comfortable around them and can get Fucked up and know nothing will happen to me....but knowin that i dont drink as much. 

my friends are awesome!! thanks to everyone who has helped me through the hard times that i have encountered these past few months....its because of yall that i didnt give up completely on ME!! i miss all of yall that i put off because of him....Jess you are the bestest!!! Bud you're awesome!! i had fun hangin out with ya yesterday...even tho we didnt do anything it was great seein ya again. i really do miss ya!!! Jenn i am glad we went out that night both ready to throw them guys away....we had been taken advantage of for way too long and look what happened outta that night...me and you got to be good friends outside of work....i now have a great friend and you a fiance!  Chris i dont even know what to say to ya....you are awesome....i didnt know you really well yet you were there anytime i just needed someone to talk to!! i know i can depend on ya for anything and you wont let me get hurt again!! thank you for everything! Cory- thanks for listening to me....you are my ear when i need to vent!! all i gotta say is "dirty little secret!" and only us know whats so funny when that comes on! Justin you are my other ear yet you give input as well...my drama is all i gotta say thanks for listenin man!  i know there is so much more of ya'll out there that helped and it does mean a lot that people do care....mindi, jenny, cass- we all gotta hang out soon!! i miss ya girls!

and to that one friend that tried to help me before this shit even hit the fan- i am so sorry girl. i cant even begin to tell you how much i hate myself for the shit the past 2 years and the regrets i have now!  i drive out to see ya so much and i dont believe it....you cant really be there when just a year ago we were all at prom dancin away and you were singin at hawk idol and we all graduated and everything was great...except the drama.....and now look so much has changed. you cant rewind time but i pray everyday that we are back to jr year and sophmore year when we great....makin fun of jess and amanda for meeting guys at wallmart and workin on stupid physics projects.....all i gotta say is you were right....i miss ya brittney i really do and i hate that now when so much has changed i cant see ya anymore...i have pictures up from prom and other random pics but sometimes thats not enough.....

hey guys i am still alive...so much is going on in my life right now i dont even know where to start...

i moved into an apartment with rachel about a week ago. things are going good there.

david is telling me he loves me and wants to come back he asked me to have a baby with him the other day. cassidy still knows nothing about it though so i dunno....

well i gotta go  more to come later

Hey guyz!! guess what i started selling Avon. Here is a link to my online store to make it easy on everyone to buy from me.  http://aclarke.avonrepresentative.com/   please pass this link on to anyone you might know that would shop Avon! thanks and i will have a real update later when i can figure some stuff out. my life is like a freakin soap opera right now!

Hey guyz how has everyone been doing? Things have finally been going good for me. One thing that can make any problem go away or get better is forgiveness. i truly forgave david for all the hurt he has put me through and things with me and him are so much better. the other night he sent me a text message saying " i just wanted to remind you that no matter what i will always love you and you will always be my baby girl no one else"  since i told him that it doesnt matter what went wrong or what we fought about the important thing was we made it through. who cares what went wrong or what happened in the past. we were able to still love each other through it. thats the important thing. things have been so much better with me and him. as far as i know he is still with cassidy but give it time i will be back with him. :) he told me the other night that he wanted to see me he wanted me to hold him. NOT her but ME!! i guess everyone that said give it time was right. i mean we are not back together yet but it is a start.

the rough times brought us closer like no other. the bitch sends me a text msg right before brittney's funeral saying "no hard feelings but david needs someone there for him and thats why i am going to be there for him"  well the first thing he does when he walks into the church was throw his arms around me. i've heard that if looks could kill her look would have killed me!  he would not let me go so many times. in order for me to leave my step dad had to pull his arms off of me. not one time did he even touch cassidy. not even hold her hand anything. she tried several times to get him to but he didnt!! that should tell her something there. he didnt want her there he didnt want her to comfort him. the bitch tries to start problems any chance she can get and she was pissed when this one back fired on her!! 

ok well i gotta work

Jessica emailed this to me and i think it fits perfectly with what many are feeling right now.

also i am putting up lyrics to a song i heard that reminded me of brittney.  its also the song playing right now so turn your volume up so u can hear it!

>Keep Your Fork
>
>There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and
>had been given three months to live.  So as she was getting her things "in
>order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss
>certain aspects of her final wishes.  She told him which songs she wanted
>sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit
>she wanted to be buried in.
>
>Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the young
>woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.  "There's one
>more thing," she said excitedly.
>
>"What's that?" came the pastor's reply.
>
>"This is very important," the young woman continued.
>"I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."
>
>The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
>
>"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.
>
>"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.
>
>The young woman explained.  "My grandmother once told me this story, and
>from there on out, I have always done so.  I have also, always tried to pass
>along its message to those I love and those who are in need of
>encouragement.
>
>'In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always
>remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone
>would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork' It was my favorite part
>because I knew that something better was coming ..  like velvety chocolate
>cake or deep-dish apple pie.  Something wonderful, and with substance!' So,
>I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and
>I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?".  Then I want you to tell
>them: "Keep your fork ...  the best is yet to come." The pastor's eyes
>welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye.
>
>He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her
>death.  But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven
>than he did.
>She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice
>her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge.  She KNEW that
>something better was coming.
>
>At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw
>the pretty dress she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand.
>Over and over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And
>over and over he smiled.
>During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had
>with the young woman shortly before she died.  He also told them about the
>fork and about what it symbolized to her.
>
>The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and
>told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it
>either.
>
>He was right.
>
>So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you ever so
>gently, that the best is yet to come.
>
>Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.  They make you smile and encourage
>you to succeed.  They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they
>always want to open their hearts to us.
>
>Show your friends how much you care.  Remember to always be there for them,
>even when you need them more.  For you never know when it may be their time
>to "Keep your fork."
>
>Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share ..  being friends with
>someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.
>
>Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND even if it means sending back to
>the person who sent it to you.
>
>And keep your fork.

12. When I Get Where I'm Going (feat. Dolly Parton)
Rivers Rutherford/George Teren (ASCAP)/(BMI)

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Chorus
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

Repeat chorus

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going