wow. four months flew by sooo quickly! i mean...there were definitely days that went by way too slow nd i'm beyond excited to go home...but i dunnnnno. i feel wierd! i've never felt like this beforeeee. such wierdly mixed emotions that i can't really explain. im really glad that i went on this trip nd i recommend everyone who possibly can to study abroad!!! i learned so much about myself nd everything i take for granted in america.

i learned that...
1. i need to be surrounded by people who have the same interests as me! i felt so incomplete here! like i neglected so many parts of myself because i couldn't do it or i had no one to do it with. i think that was the root of my unhappiness here! not being able to do stupid lil things that i love like gossip or shopping all the time or smoking all the time!
2. i can NOT be away from home for this long! seriously tho...i am way too attached to my home (where my family & friends are)! i knew i would miss home...but dam. not thissssss much! if i ever follow my dream and move to new york before i finally settle down in cali...im gonna be taking trips home at least once month. i cannot do long periods of time being cut off from my family & friends. god i'm sucha baby! ahahha :[
3. i may wanna adopt a chinese baby! i wanna adopt one of the babies those shady ass people use to beg people. ughhhhhhhhhhhh. i seriously can't stand seeing that! it's so fucked up. take ur baby homeee! it's 4am nd its fucking freezing outside. WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR CHILD STILL AWAKE and begging drunk people for money?!
4. chinese people are hella krazy! i mean there are many wack and lazyass chinese people (like the cops who sleep in there cars on the freeway! hahaha seriously...wtf?!) but if u just walk around on the streets in shanghai you can see how fucking hardworking so many chinese people are! they may be annoying and pushy as fuck but dam...these people are grindinggggg. they are on their hustle for reals! working 24 hour shifts, dealing with rudeass china people & rudeass foreigners and working hard as hell almost every day of the week to make what i can make working part time for minimum wage. oh nd it hella bothers me when foreigners come to china nd mock hardworking chinese people! ughhhhhhhh. if u thnk our culture is so dam funny...then why did u come here?!

i can't wait toooooooo...
1. eat mexican food
2. MJ <3
3. see my friends
4. hang out with my fambam (esp. my momma & my faggotass seeeeester)
5. drive my car
6. go shoppingggg (its just not the same in china!)
7. watch tv (omg its gonna be sooooo great not having to live off of my dam laptop!!!!)
8. run errands that i've been waiting to do since i got to china (holy shit. forreals man my to do list is soooo long!)

that was not in any specific order by the way! mexican food does not mean more to me than my family...everything just happened to pop into my head like that. haha :] dam i can't believe i'm returning back to real life! this has been like a 4 month vacation of me just sitting on my ass, living like a queen, doing nothingggg. hahah it has been quite good nd just what i needed before i graduate nd hafta do that wackass 9-5 wake up in the morning nd hate my life bs :[ ughhhhhhhhhhhh. so sad. so sad! i havent worn make up on a daily basis or gone consecutive days w/o wearing sweats for soooooooooo long. ahahhaha i miss my clothesssss! i can't wait to be reunited with all of my stufff :]

man i can't wait to see where life will take me next! this has been an intense journey. a roller coaster ride fasho with many ups and downs. i seriously have a krazy ass love/hate relationship with China (shanghizzle) and i will miss it very very much! mmmm shangHIGH. you fill me uppppp ;]